The Apprentice 1 - Episode 8 Summary

'Trump Ice, Ice Baby' By Bebo

Mark Burnett loves to use moon shots in a symbolic or foreshadowing fashion in his reality shows. Is he trying to tell us that Heidi, as Most Likely To Moon The Other Contestants, is going to win? Or maybe it means that Omarosa will prevail, since she’s like a werewolf and can only be brought down by a silver bullet? Maybe it’s just a symbolic mooning of the audience, as we once again feed the ego of America’s biggest megalomaniac, Donald Trump.

We begin with the typical post-mortem, where the suitemates discuss how brutal the Boardroom was as they await the return of the Survivors (oops, wrong MB show). When Katrina and Bill return to the suite, there was much rejoicing.

Bill is displeased that Katrina and Ereka turned on him in the Boardroom and vows it won’t happen again. “Screw me once, shame on you, screw me twice, shame on me.” Hmm, is this foreshadowing? Or, in light of Nick and Amy sittin’ in a tree, is this just wishful thinking for some action of his own?

Protégé meets and decides that Heidi will be the Project Manager for the upcoming task. Amy suggests that they dedicate the task to Heidi’s mother. Meanwhile, Omarosa is being useful to her team by tucking herself in bed to recover from her serious head injury. For those of you keeping score at home, Omoanrosa’s head hurts too much for her to work, but not enough to keep her from playing basketball. Her head hurts too much for her to attend team meetings, unless she is the one calling the meeting while others are trying to work. Heidi would be sorry for Omoanrosa if she thought her head really hurt, but she’s not buying the act.

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The next morning, Omoanrosa pats herself on the back for being such a trooper about her grievous head wound. Meanwhile, I’m wondering how she’d handle something serious, like a hangnail. Amy’s sick of watching Omoanrosa play the victim and joins this week’s Obvious Club by saying what most viewers have been yelling at the TV since the beginning – “she’s a scheming, conniving bitch.”

Meanwhile, the inevitable phone call summons the teams to the front of Trump Tower. How will The Donald toot his own horn this time? Will he remind us how he single-handedly saved New York City? Will he name drop to remind us of all the people that his money has allowed him to meet? Nah, he decides to hit us over the head (a la Omoanrosa last week) by bringing out a truck of Trump Ice. The task – distribute as much Trump Ice bottled water as possible in two days. There is a little twist this time. Instead of the entire winning team getting the reward, the Project Manager will pick two teammates to share the reward. Omoanrosa squeals with delight when she hears that three of the winners will get a private helicopter ride over New York. Since Heidi’s the Protégé PM, the odds of Omoanrosa being picked for that ride are slimmer than Ralph Nader’s odds of winning the presidency. Must be the head injury making her delusional.

Protégé plans out their strategy. Troy is impressed that amidst all these advanced degrees, this small-town boy from Idaho is designated closer. Amy takes over the Presidency of the Obvious Club by calling the country-bumpkin act tiresome.

Versacorp also has a motivated PM, Ereka. Bill says she’s OK when she stays calm, but he’s quickly turned off when she tunes out his ideas, such as volume discounts. Now you know how women feel when you tune us out during conversations. No wonder you’re the third wheel dragging behind NickandAmy.

Next, we see Ereka and Bill pounding the pavement. Ereka keeps using buzzwords like, well, “buzz”, as we watch potential clients’ eyes glaze over. Bill shows them the numbers, they show Bill the money.

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