Bachelor in Paradise alum Kylee Russell has revealed that she decided to give Aven Jones another chance after his cheating scandal, only to be dumped.
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The Bachelor in Paradise alum said she was "shocked" by Aven's decision, which left her "screaming, crying and throwing up" in devastation.
"I had days where I was like, 'I don't know how I'm going to survive this. This pain and this hurt is so heavy,'" Kylee confessed.
Kylee and Aven left Bachelor in Paradise's ninth season dating in June 2023 because he had refused to propose marriage on the show, and one day after the finale aired on ABC, the pair confirmed they were still together with a joint Instagram post on December 8.
But on December 9, Kylee took to Instagram Stories to announce that her relationship with Aven was already over due to "multiple infidelities," and Aven later confirmed he had made "major mistakes" and was the one to blame for the demise of his relationship with Kylee.
Back in early May, Kylee shared on the "Bachelor Happy Hour" podcast that she and Aven were "good friends" and the door was "somewhat open" for a potential reconciliation.
And according to the Bachelor in Paradise alum, she decided to give Aven a second chance after that interview -- only to be brutally dumped.
"Recently, Aven and I decided to part ways. So let's start by saying the door is closed. The door is locked and the key is gone forever, and that's something I am still coping with," Kylee told Kathy Swarts and Susan Noles.
"It's been a year of him and I, but the post-six months of me finding out about his infidelity has been so hard."
Kylee said after she and Aven broke up for the first time late last year, there was a period of time when they were still in communication and on the "mend." Kylee had told Aven that he needed to change, and he was well aware that it was going to take time for her to trust him again.
"I will say in the beginning, he was doing the work. He was going to therapy, he was ensuring that my move to San Diego went smoothly, he was there for me, and he was providing for me. It was going great," Kylee shared.
RELATED LINK: 'THE BACHELOR' FRANCHISE COUPLES NOW"But I will be honest: I am human and there was still a small part of me that was holding back -- [because of] trust. And so, I was hoping, 'Please just give me grace. I know I can get to where I was before. I just need time.'"
Kylee, originally from Charlotte, NC, explained how she was adjusting to being on her own in San Diego, "miles away from family."
Kylee had moved in with The Bachelor alum Jess Girod in February, and she admitted the move was for her own benefit as well as for her potential future with Aven.
"On the outside, I was like, 'This is good, this is fine.' But on the inside, I was battling with a lot. I didn't think it was noticeable, but unfortunately, it kind of took a toll on him," Kylee recalled.
"He felt as though he was putting in all of this work but... [I] wasn't reciprocating all of the love that he was giving me."
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This led to Kylee and Aven having "a big, tough conversation" about a month ago.
"He kind of expressed to me, 'Hey, I'm doing all of this. I want this to work, but I still feel like you're holding back. I don't know if this is going to work anymore,'" Kylee said.
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At that point, the pair had reached their one-year anniversary of meeting in Paradise, and so they planned a little getaway to Malibu.
"I was like, 'Aven, I know you're pretty closed off right now, but please just give it some time. Let's go to Malibu and see if we can rekindle what we've lost,'" Kylee recalled.
Kylee insisted she and Aven had "a great time" in Malibu and feelings of love came rushing back for her.
"Three weeks after that, things were really, really good. I was so excited. I almost had that giddy feeling back," Kylee shared.
"And something I was going back and forth with was, 'At some point, I have to make this relationship public again.' And what was holding me back from that was... the public scrutiny. So before I do that, I needed to know, 'He's my man and I'm sticking beside him!'"
Kylee clarified that she and Aven both needed to be all in or all out at that point.
"I had a little PTSD because the last time I went public with him, my world literally shattered in front of me," Kylee admitted.
"I 100 percent trusted him, and still trust him now, just because I saw the shift in the energy he was giving, and I honestly think his world was rocked so badly that he'd never do that again, to me or anybody else."
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Kylee then revealed how Jess was traveling to Florida for the Fourth of July and so she planned to have a romantic holiday with Aven in San Diego.
"I was like, 'We're going to have the best week together. It's going to feel normal.' I went to Austin, TX, with some of The Bachelor girls, and when I got back from Texas, I could just feel this energy shift and this mood shift. Aven was acting [weird]. He just wasn't himself," Kylee explained.
"So I get home, we have a big, long conversation -- and he chose to end things. I'm going to get a little emotional."
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"It felt like it did back then," Kylee said. "So I was shocked, and it was definitely a tough conversation."
Kylee went on to describe how exactly Aven pulled the plug on their second go at a relationship.
"[He said] some days, he would wake up and think there was such great hope for us and that we could get to where we needed to be in order to have a forever future together," Kylee explained.
"And then there were other days when he'd wake up and think, 'There is just so much damage that I have done personally, and I don't think our relationship can ever recover from that.' He said I didn't deserve someone who was unsure," Kylee explained.
Kylee then booked a flight to North Carolina to see her mom, and she said she's "still in the healing process."
Kylee told Kathy and Susan that Aven had caused "a lot of hurt" in her life but she's been working on finding her own way as a single woman in San Diego.
"I want to be healed already. I'm tired of being sad, but I know that takes time. This is my first-ever heartbreak. I've never been in love before or even had a real relationship," Kylee said.
She continued, "Although everyone, especially on the Internet, has told me, 'Kylee, you deserve better and it's time to walk away,' that's easier said than done, especially when you loved someone so much."
At the end of the day, Kylee insisted that she "doesn't have any hate" in her heart towards Aven and he'll be the right person for another woman someday.
"I wish him nothing but the best," Kylee concluded. "I don't see a world where [we reconcile again]."
Kylee previously revealed on "The Viall Files" in February that Aven had allegedly cheated on her three times -- once during a guys' night out in Santa Monica, CA, with Eric Bigger and James "Meatball" Clarke as well as twice in Boston, MA, with a childhood friend whom he had lingering feelings for.
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Kylee said Aven had written her a "book-long" apology via text and was very hard on himself for hurting her.
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About The Author: Elizabeth Kwiatkowski
