The Golden Bachelorette's Pascal Ibgui has explained why he was so "angry" at production after he dumped Joan Vassos and was in the process of leaving the show.
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"I'm having a very difficult time because I know what love is. I've experienced it and you've experienced it -- and I care about you as a friend, but I'm not in love, you know? And I just can't be there," Pascal told Joan when breaking up with her on the show.
"It's hurting me because we have a good time together," he continued. "We laugh and we seem like we connect, but we need a spark, and I just don't have it... I thought I could move forward, but I'm not ready."
As Joan was walking Pascal out, Pascal swore at production and told the cameras to get away from them.
Pascal yelled about how he was "not okay," and his anger seemed a little misplaced considering Joan was the one who just had her heart broken.
"I said [we're over] in a very nice and polite way. I told her, 'Look, Joan, I'm not where I need to be for you. It's hard for me to continue that journey and go any farther with you,'" Pascal told Glamour magazine in an interview.
Pascal claimed that a producer had suggested he should be clear about the fact he wasn't in love with Joan going into their breakup conversation.
"But I was [hesitant] to use that word," Pascal explained, recalling how he had been hesitant to use that language when letting Joan down gently.
"When I saw the show, I saw she was hurt by that because she said [to the cameras], 'I'm maybe not worthy to be loved.' That was not my intention."
Pascal added, "My intention was to tell her that I'm not where she needs me to be, and I don't think if I could get there."
RELATED LINK: 'THE BACHELORETTE' COUPLES NOW: WHOM DID 'THE BACHELORETTE' STARS AND THEIR BACHELOR PICKS ULTIMATELY END UP WITH?! (PHOTOS)
RELATED LINK: 'THE BACHELORETTE' COUPLES NOWPascal insisted he's "sorry" if he had "misled" Joan in any way.
"I'm sorry if I... misinterpret myself, but I told her from the beginning that I was guarded and it was going to take me time to bring down my wall," Pascal said.
Pascal was therefore upset that producers had allegedly convinced him to use the L-word when explaining what was missing with Joan. His speech left Joan feeling "unlovable" and almost hopeless.
"That's why I told the camera to get away from me. I was very angry," Pascal explained.
"I know the words 'not in love' is very hurtful. I would rather try to be very diplomatic. Unfortunately, she got hurt. I got hurt because emotionally that was very difficult for me, too."
Pascal said he was "very happy" to see Joan at The Golden Bachelorette: The Men Tell All as a result.
"I was able to put closure into where we started by telling her that I didn't mean to hurt her and I'm sorry if it come across that way," Pascal revealed to Glamour.
"I was able to tell her I didn't want to stay because I know that the [other men were] so, so much in love with her. I didn't want her to miss that opportunity to be loved, so that's why I decided to walk away."
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"I am hurt right now. I'm hurting because I hurt her, and I feel terrible about that right now -- terrible," Pascal vented.
RELATED LINK: 'THE BACHELOR' COUPLES NOW: WHO DID 'THE BACHELOR' STARS AND THEIR BACHELORETTE PICKS ACTUALLY END UP MARRYING? (PHOTOS)
Pascal hugged Joan goodbye, and he asked her to be safe and take care of herself. He also noted how he was just a phone call away.
Joan whispered to Pascal, "I love you," on his way out, and he replied -- but in a platonic manner -- "I love you, too. Goodbye."
Joan said the breakup was really hard for her because since Pascal knew what being in love felt like, and he wasn't in love with her, she felt unworthy or undeserving of his love.
"It's hard to be vulnerable again, once you've been hurt, so the walls are up again and I feel like a failure," Joan told the cameras in tears.
Joan had started feeling more hopeful about her journey to find love again, but then she admitted her hope was suddenly "down to nothing."
"I might leave with nobody. That could happen," Joan concluded. "I was afraid coming into this, but then my fears started getting better. And now I am afraid again."
RELATED LINK: 'THE BACHELOR' FRANCHISE COUPLES NOW: WHO IS STILL TOGETHER?? (PHOTOS)
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About The Author: Elizabeth Kwiatkowski
