The Bachelorette alum Rachel Lindsay has admitted she's felt "shame" amid her divorce from Bryan Abasolo.
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Rachel explained how she had met her ex on The Bachelorette and they're currently going through a divorce.
After more than four years of marriage, Bryan, 44, filed for divorce from Rachel on January 2, citing irreconcilable differences, and he listed December 31 as their date of separation.
"It's really interesting. So we met. We dated for two-and-a-half years. We went and got married, and we were looked at as one of the more successful relationships that came from the show," Rachel explained.
"Anywhere I went, people would ask me about my relationship and how you're doing. And, 'When are you having kids?' All the things that were wrapped up in that."
The Bachelor 21 alum continued, "You feel the public pressure to always let people know that everything's great even though behind closed doors that might not be the case, or that you're working on it or that you're having a bad day or whatever it may be."
On July 10, a judge ordered Rachel to pay Bryan over $13,000 per month in spousal support and an additional $20,000 for legal fees and other expenses. (Rachel had only offered the chiropractor $9,000 per month in court, claiming that Bryan's initial request of $16,275 far exceeded his need).
About two weeks after the ruling, Bryan was spotted moving out of The Bachelorette couple's shared home.
When asked to pinpoint the moment when her marriage began going downhill, Rachel shared, "It's even hard to publicly admit it now, but I would say maybe I saw signs before the marriage."
Rachel went on to confess, "As women, we're fixers. We think we can figure it out. They're a challenge to us, but eventually, I saw it more, I would say, within two years."
Rachel explained how her identity became "wrapped up in the relationship."
RELATED LINK: 'THE BACHELORETTE' COUPLES NOW"And you're afraid that's the only way people see you," she noted. "But I'm here to tell you, it's not. You can take your power back. You can find your power within. No one has to dim your light."
But guest The View co-host Abby Huntsman acknowledged how a person can't control what their partner posts on social media.
Rachel replied with a laugh, "Well, that's been true, for sure."
RELATED LINK: 'THE BACHELORETTE' COUPLES NOW: WHOM DID 'THE BACHELORETTE' STARS AND THEIR BACHELOR PICKS ULTIMATELY END UP WITH?! (PHOTOS)
In September, Rachel told Us Weekly that she's not ready to enter the dating pool again.
"Honestly, it's not a focus right now," Rachel said. "I'm just trying to get through it. Then, get at me."
Rachel, however, gushed about how her friends and family have made her feel "empowered" during this challenging time.
"I saw this quote the other day about romanticizing life and it was just learning about loving the simple things, whether it's going on a walk, whether it's just being thankful for the air that we breathe [or] whether it's just like laughing with a friend," Rachel said.
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Bryan shared some personal details about his divorce from The Bachelorette's Season 13 star in an interview with men's divorce coach Rene Garcia posted on YouTube in late July.
"I was sleeping in a different bedroom. We were already going to marriage counseling," Bryan described of what his relationship with Rachel was like in 2023.
When therapy "seemed to be working" for the pair, Bryan said that he put the divorce on hold -- until "things just went right back to the way they were."
Bryan admitted he and Rachel had an "unhealthy communication pattern" and they "didn't spend enough time" with each other.
"I mean, in my estimation, we saw what the other person was doing in the relationship, mainly on Instagram, although we lived in the same house," Bryan explained.
Bryan said he decided on following through with the divorce after he and Rachel got into an argument on New Year's Eve in 2023.
"That was one of the toughest things I ever had to do in my life," Bryan recalled of officially filing to end his marriage.
"How I felt when I did it, I felt like I was being blindfolded and then suddenly I was able to see sunlight. It was uncomfortable and then there was the other end of the spectrum, there was all this fear that entered my body."
Bryan admitted he had been stuck "in a weird friend-zone situation for a while" and the pair started "to live different lives." Bryan said they also had interests and priorities that didn't align.
Rachel had claimed she was shocked by Bryan's divorce filing, but he insisted that she definitely saw it coming.
"[Rachel] never showed any interest in my business," Bryan alleged, adding how The Bachelorette alum's "jet-setting career often took her away from our martial residence" while he stayed home."
Bryan further alleged that Rachel didn't want him to be involved in her Hollywood lifestyle and would go so far as to "disinvite [him] to parties or events" and show up with friends instead.
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During a December 2023 appearance on "The Viall Files" podcast, Rachel revealed to Nick Viall that she and Bryan had been "working on having a kid" together, although they were living "totally different lives" and didn't "work well together."
Bryan told Rene that it was "tough" and "hard" to watch Rachel struggle with fertility issues when they were trying so hard to expand their family.
"It felt terrible. Just watching her sadness, it broke my heart," Bryan admitted. "It was like I was failing expectations on all fronts."
Bryan shared how he really wanted children but "other things were made a priority" in their relationship, which put pressure on them both.
"Women have a different biological clock than us. It was going to be me going along with a plan, but I was under a hell of a lot of stress," he acknowledged.
During a June 2024 appearance on the "Hidden Gems with Natasha Parker" podcast, Rachel revealed that she had "wanted" a prenuptial agreement before marrying Bryan, but the pair couldn't come to an agreement.
"The reason I didn't [get one] is because the place I'm in now, you know, financially or however you want to define it, is totally different than when I got married," Rachel explained at the time.
"We were more level and I wasn't living in California."
Rachel and Bryan had gotten engaged on The Bachelorette's thirteenth season, which aired 2017, and then they got married in August 2019. At that time, Rachel was an attorney from Texas and Bryan was working as a chiropractor in Miami, FL.
Rachel explained that when she and Bryan tied the knot, it was simply "a different time" in her life.
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"Hindsight is 20/20, I would have done it [looking back now]. I always wanted to do it, but, again, we weren't on the same page when it came to that."
After Bryan and Rachel's August 2019 wedding, Rachel briefly moved to Miami to be with Bryan. Rachel then relocated to California for a job at Extra, resulting in the pair trying to make a long-distance marriage work.
Bryan, apparently believing he and Rachel were a team, subsequently moved from Florida to Los Angeles, CA, for the sake of Rachel's entertainment career, which now includes multiple podcasts and two books. (Rachel no longer works for Extra).
"I placed my career as a chiropractor on hold to move twice for Rachel's career. These moves were detrimental to my chiropractic business, while Rachel's income and success as a media personality skyrocketed," Bryan wrote in his early May court filing, according to Us.
Bryan also wrote, "I want to move out of our Family Residence as soon as possible, but maintaining our standard of living is not financially feasible at this time... [And she is] refusing to give me access to any of our community property funds to pay my divorce lawyer, my forensic accountant, or any of my personal expenses."
Rachel subsequently asked the court to seal her financial details from the public eye, claiming that filing them could "potentially cause irreparable harm," as well as seal redacted portions of Bryan's request for spousal support and attorney's fees filed on May 1.
Although Rachel and Bryan are parting ways, Rachel said she still considers her time on The Bachelorette to be a success.
"It is a happy ending in the sense that I'm doing what's best for me, and with divorce -- even if it's mutual -- there's a bit of a selfish decision in it, but I'm doing what's best for me and that's a happy ending," Rachel noted on Natasha's podcast.
"Right now as I'm going through it. No, it's not happy, it's messy -- unnecessarily messy -- but when I get through it I'm going to have to rebuild and I'm going to have to restructure, but it's a happy ending because it's what I want."
Rachel dropped her surname in her Instagram bio and publicly broke her silence on her divorce from Bryan for the first time during the January 5 episode of the "Higher Learning with Van Lathan and Rachel Lindsay" podcast.
"I didn't think I was going to get emotional," Rachel said through tears.
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The Season 13 The Bachelorette star continued, "And you're probably wondering why I would even work. But to be honest with you, I need to distract myself from myself, and the best way to do that is to do something that I love -- and I love 'Higher Learning' -- and so I am going to try my best to get through this podcast."
The former attorney, however, told her listeners of her divorce, "But I'm not going to talk about it."
"I will eventually," Rachel clarified, "but now is not the time. I'm just trying to take it day by day."
When Bryan announced his divorce filing in January, he wrote on Instagram, "If you've been following me for a while, you know I don't like to put my personal affairs on social media and like to keep a safe space for our family."
"Many of you know me as a chiropractor," he elaborated, "and also as a husband, my proudest role so far. After more than 4 years of marriage, Rachel and I have made the difficult decision to part ways and start anew."
The chiropractor continued, "My parents have been married forever and I'm a family man, but sometimes loving yourself and your partner means you must let go."
Bryan wrote how he wanted fans to "hear it from the source" before reading about his breakup with Rachel in "the blogs," allowing people to make up "their own reality."
Bryan concluded of his estranged wife, "Please respect the spaces of our family and friends as we figure out our next steps. Respectfully, Bryan."
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About The Author: Elizabeth Kwiatkowski
