"American Idol" judge Paula Abdul says she sought treatment for an addiction to painkillers last year.
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"I could have killed myself," the magazine quoted her as saying about going through withdrawal. "Withdrawal -- it's the worst thing. I was freezing cold, then sweating hot, then chattering and in so much pain, it was excruciating. But at my very core, I did not like existing the way I had been."
The dancer and singer said the problem stemmed from her determination to keep working despite chronic debilitating pain caused by a series of accidents. She said she took painkillers so she could keep to her intense schedule.
"I didn't want anyone to count me out," she said.