Although Monday night's The Bachelorette broadcast showed her saying she was "so sure" Frank Neuschaefer would have been one of her final two suitors, Ali Fedotowsky apparently wasn't planning on presenting her final rose to him.
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According to Fedotowsky, her emotional response to Neuschaefer's departure wasn't an indication that she had considered the 31-year-old retail manager from Geneva, IL the favorite over remaining suitors Roberto Martinez and Chris Lambton.
"There were so many things that were going through my mind," Fedotowsky told E! News of her televised reaction, which included her proclaiming she had been "so sure" Neuschaefer was going to be one of her final two suitors and "so sure" he was going to meet her parents.
"The first being upset in general because I had really strong feelings for Frank, but also I just wondered if the whole journey was going to work out for me."
In addition, Fedotowsky reiterated how Neuschaefer's decision had also stirred up old memories of a prior relationship in which she was dumped for a former girlfriend.
"I've been hurt in the way Frank hurt me before. I had an ex that actually reminded me of Frank, who in the past left me for an ex-girlfriend. I know now in retrospect there's nothing wrong with me, but at the time I couldn't help but feel that way," she told E! News.
"I felt defeated with everything."
While she's still not commenting on conflicting reports that she rejected both of her final suitors or accepted a marriage proposal from one of them when The Bachelorette was filmed this spring, Fedotowsky said she's looking forward to the upcoming taping of her The Bachelorette: After the Final Rose special, which will air immediately after the show's finale on August 2.
"It's the first time that whatever I am, whether I'm single or I'm engaged or I'm with someone, I get to be that," she told E! News. "I've been living this secret life for the past three months, and I'm just excited to be whatever I am."
In addition, the special will also represent the first time she's seen Neuschaefer since he left the show.
"[It's] going to be interesting, how that turns out. I'm intrigued to see what he has to say, and how he's feeling," she said.
About The Author: Steven Rogers