Ben Higgins had an amazing week in his hometown of Warsaw, IN, but it was apparently very difficult for him to watch back Becca Tilley's emotional breakdowns on television Monday night.

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During the latest The Bachelor episode, Tilley was growing increasingly more frustrated because she wasn't receiving the validation she needed from Higgins or even much reassurance their relationship meant something special to him. The cup overflowed once Higgins gave the Group Date rose to Amanda Stanton instead of her.

While viewers saw little emotion from Tilley during Chris Soules' edition of The Bachelor -- and she was even criticized for being cold and indifferent -- the bachelorette broke down on more than one occasion over Higgins.

"What was really tough was watching this back and seeing how hard it was on Becca. I have such respect for Becca and I care about her so much that knowing I hurt her and was putting her through that was really tough. Sometimes watching this back I just cringe because it hurts seeing the hurt I cause women that I truly care about. This was definitely one of those times," Higgins wrote in his People blog.

"After that, I knew I had a Rose Ceremony and I seriously had no idea what I was going to do. I could only visit four hometowns, and I had five amazing women before me. How was I supposed to send any one of these women home?!"

Since Stanton already had a rose, Higgins had to eliminate Tilley, Caila Quinn, Joelle "JoJo" Fletcher, or Lauren Bushnell.

"But Chris Harrison really brought it all back around to me. I really needed to be honest with myself about whether or not I could really see myself marrying each one of these women. When I did that, I knew that I had to say goodbye to Becca," revealed Higgins, who had promised Tilley that he wouldn't blindside her.

"Unfortunately, I also knew that by doing that I was doing to her the one thing I had told her I wouldn't do. It was going to come out of nowhere. So when she pulled her hand away from me and I saw the anger mixed with pain in her eyes, I completely understood. I hated doing that to her but I really didn't know any other way."

Higgins then gushed about Tilley as a person in his blog.

"Becca is seriously one of the most wonderful women I have ever met. There is nothing she doesn't have. Nothing. Even I couldn't believe was saying goodbye to her. But I know she is going to be fine because I'm not sure I have met a more well-rounded, impressive woman," Higgins said.

The Bachelor airs every Monday night from 8-10PM ET/PT on ABC.


About The Author: Elizabeth Kwiatkowski

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