Ben Higgins admits it wasn't easy to see an "impressive" woman like Lauren "LB" Barr walk out on him.

ADVERTISEMENT

During Monday night's The Bachelor broadcast, LB, a 23-year-old fashion buyer from Stillwater, OK, decided to quit the show after Higgins asked her to accept a rose during the twentieth season's second Rose Ceremony.

"When it came time for that ceremony, I was feeling even more nervous than I was the first night. That first night, I was afraid I might be letting a great woman go home before I had a chance to get to know her. But this time, I KNEW I was going to be sending not just one woman home that I knew was great, but several," Higgins wrote in his People blog.

"But as I started calling names and came to LB, I think I knew what she was going to say even before she said it. Maybe it's that unlovable insecurity rising up again, but I could see in her eyes that she didn't think this was right for her."

LB told Higgins the process was too overwhelming and she didn't think she could follow through with it.

"While I understood where she was coming from (remember, I was in her exact same shoes just a few months ago)," Higgins said, referencing Kaitlyn Bristowe's season of The Bachelorette, "I really wish she would've been able to give it a little bit more of a chance."

Higgins, well aware of how difficult and emotional The Bachelor journey can be, still hoped LB would stick it out.

"I know this can be a hard place to really let your guard down and be your true self, but I think in time, it becomes easier. And I just don't think LB gave it that time. I was sad to see her go because she was a very impressive woman from the little I saw, but of course I had to respect her decision," Higgins explained.

"I said from the start that it was a two-way street, and I wanted these women to want to be here just as much as I wanted them here. That doesn't necessarily make it easier when you see a woman like LB walk out the door away from you."

And LB was the first of several goodbyes for Higgins that night.

"[Jackie Dion], [Mandi Kremer] and [Samantha Passmore] are all incredible women -- women that are going to make a man very happy one day. But the time I spent with them told me that I knew that it wasn't going to be me. And with all that they had given up to come here, I owed it to them to let them get back to their lives sooner rather than later," Higgins wrote in his blog.

"But to be honest, this week was one of the easier weeks I had on this journey. If I thought emotions and tensions were running high this week, just wait 'til you see what next week has in store. I knew there would be tears, and I knew there would be feelings, I just am not sure I thought it would be this soon. So rest up Bachelor Nation, from here on out, it's a little bit of a bumpy ride!"

The next The Bachelor episode airs Monday, January 18 at 8PM ET/PT on ABC.


About The Author: Elizabeth Kwiatkowski

FOLLOW REALITY TV WORLD ON GOOGLE NEWS