Ben Higgins: I was "terrified" to make a mistake and send my future wife home at 'The Bachelor' Rose Ceremony

Ben Higgins admits he was really scared to make a mistake when he was forced to cut seven bachelorettes on the very first night.


"I think it was [Jennifer Saviano] who mentioned how intimidating it was to be standing amongst 'an army of freakishly good-looking women,' but think about where I am standing! That army is all staring right back at me, and I have to make those decisions?! The words have not even been invented yet that can describe how nervous I was," Ben wrote in his People blog following Season 20's premiere.

"I came here to find a wife and with so much going on that night it terrified me that I might be making a mistake right then and there and sending home my future wife before I even got a chance to really know her. But I had to trust in God and that he would guide me in the right direction through this all."

Ben said this process was "not an easy thing to go through" despite "what people at home may think."

"There are parts that are incredible, sure, but no one will ever call it easy," he noted.


Another difficult decision Ben had to make was whom to hand out his first impression rose to. He confessed during the debut episode there wasn't a "clear-cut" choice.

"My head was spinning. How was I going to be able to single out just one woman from all these unbelievable women?! I mean, come on!!!" Ben wrote.

"But as hard as it was, [Olivia Caridi] really blew me away that night -- and not only with her beauty, but also with her poise and intelligence and even more so with all that she gave up for a chance at finding love."

Olivia revealed she had quit a job she loved as a news anchor to come on the show and compete for Ben's heart.

"Especially after going through this last season, it is not lost on me what each and every person has to go through and give up to be here, and what Olivia put aside and how confident she was that it was the right choice just made me feel so incredibly blessed," Ben explained.


"When it was all said and done, as hard as it was, I was left with an unbelievable group of women to embark on this journey with. And honestly, I could not have been more relieved that that first night was over -- or so I thought!"

The Bachelor airs Monday nights at 8PM ET/PT on ABC, followed by a one-hour Bachelor Live talk show hosted by Chris Harrison.






About The Author: Elizabeth Kwiatkowski