Bruce Jenner has officially confirmed over a year of reports and speculation by coming out to the nation as a woman.

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During Bruce Jenner: The Interview on 20/20 with Diane Sawyer Friday night, the Keeping Up with the Kardashians star confessed his true identity and how he's female at heart. Bruce said farewell to people's perception of the 65-year-old former Olympic athlete and plans to embrace his newfound gender freedom.

"I've been thinking about this day forever and it's going to be tough... How do I tell people what I've been through?... Today is the day to be honest with myself and obviously I've been honest with my family and everyone involved... I've always been very confused with my gender identity since I was [little]," Bruce explained in his sit-down interview with Sawyer.

Bruce believes God gave him the "soul of a female" to test how he'd deal with that in life.

"I hate the term 'a girl stuck in a guy's body...' I'm me. I'm a person, and this is who I am... My brain is much more female than it is male. It's hard for people to understand that... I look at it this way -- Bruce: always telling a lie. He's lived a lie his whole life about who he is, and I can't do that any longer," he said.

Bruce then took out his ponytail, which was a very symbolic moment for him.

"For all intents and purposes, I am a woman... People look at me differently. They see [me] as this macho male. But my heart, and my soul and everything that I do in life... that female side is a part of me and it's who I am. I was not genetically born that way. As of now, I have all the male parts and all that kind of stuff," the reality TV star explained.

"[I] identify as female and that's very hard for Bruce Jenner to say. Because why? I don't want to disappoint people. [So] why now? I just can't pull the curtain any longer, okay? I've built a nice little life. I just can't -- 'Bruce' lives a lie. 'She' is not a lie. I can't do it anymore."

Bruce revealed he began crossdressing at the age of eight or nine. As a little boy, he tried on both his mother and sister's dresses.

"I marked the closet so that when I put them back, I'd put everything back in the exact same spots so I wouldn't get caught. And at that time, I didn't know why I was doing it besides it just made me feel good," Bruce noted.

"I was a very lonely little boy. I'm still a lonely big boy. I don't socialize a lot... When you deal with this issue, you don't fit in... I look at guys and I go, 'He's comfortable in his own skin.' And I think, 'Wouldn't that be a nice way to go through life?' I look at women all the time thinking, 'Oh my God, how lucky are they that they can wake up in the morning and be themselves?' But me, I'm stuck here in the middle and I have nowhere to go. Which way do I go?"

To put some confusion to rest, Bruce confirmed his sexual orientation was never an act nor has it changed as of recently.

"I never was attracted to the guys or any of that kind of stuff. The sexuality was totally different from what my issues were and I always felt heterosexual... I am not gay. I am -- as far as I know -- heterosexual. I've never been with a guy. I've always been married, raising kids," Bruce explained, adding that he definitely desires women.

"There's two different things here. Sexuality is who you are personally attracted to, who turns you on -- male or female. But gender identity has to do with who you are as a person and your soul and who you identify with inside."

Bruce admitted he wasn't as fair as he should've been to the three women he married, however, he apologized to them many times throughout his life.

When Bruce was approaching 40 years of age about 30 years ago and had gotten divorced for the second time, he was fighting depression and -- with the help of a therapist -- began transitioning into a woman using female hormones and estrogen. Bruce therefore confirmed reports from last week he started to transform in the 1980s.

"I did it for almost five years," Bruce said, adding that he had gotten a nose job as well as electrolysis to remove his facial and chest hair.

Bruce first revealed his innermost desires to his sister Pam Mettler in the 1980s, and she was simply heartbroken for him because of the pain he dealt with and feeling the need to live in secrecy. They never spoke about it again and Mettler never told a soul for over 30 years.

Bruce eventually went on to date his now ex-wife Kris Jenner. He had been on hormones for five years at that point and even developed a 36-B bust, so he couldn't hide it. Bruce told Kris about his crossdressing tendencies and she even caught him wearing dresses occasionally.

However, Bruce downplayed his feelings and the couple attempted to deal with the situation on their own.

"I loved Kris. I had a wonderful life with her. I learned a lot from her... I thought we had a pretty good sex life. Maybe later on as I heard, maybe we didn't, I don't know," Bruce said with a laugh, adding that he doesn't regret appearing on Keeping Up with the Kardashians all this time although it's ironic he was always sort of in the background of his family.

"The one, real, true story in the family was the one I was hiding and nobody knew about it. [It] was the one thing that would've made a difference in people's lives."

Bruce's marriage to Kris started to crack decades later and they separated in October 2013. He then began transitioning again. The public gradually saw these changes with painted finger nails and long hair.

"[Kris] might be mad at me a little bit. It's not what she expected. It was tough on her... But Kris is a good woman. I have no complaints with her. She's a good person. Honestly, if she would've been really good with [my transition] and understanding, we'd probably still be together," revealed Bruce, whose divorce from Kris was finalized in December 2014.

Over a year ago, Bruce's doctor appointment was leaked that he was undergoing a laryngeal shave to minimize the appearance of his Adam's apple.

"I thought, 'It's over...' My heart was pounding and I thought, 'Wouldn't the easiest thing to do right now -- and I can see why people get to that [point] -- is go in the room, grab a gun, and boom! Pain is over. It's done. Go to a better place.' But then I thought, 'Nah, I can't do something like that. I mean, I want to know how this story ends," he explained.

Bruce decided against suicide because of his six children and four stepkids. He also sort of arrived at an epiphany.

"I had kind of a revelation that maybe, this is my cause in life. This is why God put me on this earth, to deal with this issue of gender discrimination and hatred]. It gave me courage," Bruce told Sawyer.

"If I die -- I could be diagnosed with cancer next week, and boom, you're gone -- I'd be so mad at myself that I didn't explore that side of me. And I didn't want that to happen."

Bruce acknowledged he'd like to alter his face and breasts going forward and has been on hormones again for a year-and-a-half. Sexual reassignment surgery and other permanent options are still up in the air for Bruce but will likely happen down the line.

As for dating, Bruce said that's not really on his mind. He just wants to enjoy life and embrace his gender identity for the first time in public.  

"I am okay. I feel okay. 2015 is going to be quite a ride," Bruce noted with a smile. "[Please] be open-minded. I have an open mind and an open heart. I'm not a bad person. I'm just doing what I have to do."
About The Author: Elizabeth Kwiatkowski

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