DeMario Jackson had an extremely difficult two months due to his Bachelor in Paradise scandal with Corinne Olympios, but he's very satisfied with the footage ABC chose to air during this week's two-night premiere.
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"[I felt] suicidal, but not like the suicidal that you might think. I never thought, 'Oh, I'm gonna kill myself,' but it crossed my mind, DeMario -- who sought therapy and said he lost 25 pounds because of all the stress -- told Entertainment Tonight.
"I remember just talking to my mom, like, 'My life's over. Like, I don't even want to live anymore.' And she, like, lost it."
Despite the fact Corinne had initially called herself "a victim" in the situation, adding that she was dealing with "emotional and physical trauma" from the situation, Warner Bros. found no evidence of wrongdoing or sexual assault in its nearly two-week-long investigation.
Once Bachelor in Paradise resumed filming its fourth season, DeMario looked forward to viewers seeing "the truth" about his sexual encounter with Corinne.
On Monday night's episode, Corinne and DeMario were shown laughing, drinking and flirting shortly after their entrances into Playa Escondida resort.
Corinne jumped into his arms at one point, and then DeMario was shown giving her a back massage. The pair later hopped into the pool together with their clothes on to continue enjoying each other's company.
"I feel like they rolled enough of the tape," DeMario told ET, although footage of the actual hookup in question was not shown on television.
"You can't show too much, because that's going to disrespect Corinne and I, and I just feel like it wouldn't be the best or the classiest thing to do. But, they showed enough."
DeMario previously revealed that his sexual encounter with Corinne took place in water and included oral sex, which she allegedly initiated.
DeMario said he was happy to dispel the notion he's a "horrible villain" for what happened in Paradise.
"The public, they need to see something. I think they just needed to see [that] she's lucid. I'm lucid. We're swimming around. We're having fun. We're friends. It wasn't like I'm some predator who was at the bar waiting for the girl to get extremely drunk, then I'm like, 'Oops! Let me pounce on her,'" DeMario explained.
RELATED LINK: 'THE BACHELOR' FRANCHISE COUPLES NOW"No, it was very mutual and, in fact, she was a little bit of the aggressor in it."
The bachelor from Century City, CA, then shared, "I love how they painted the picture and the story of us actually talking, mingling, getting to know each other."
However, DeMario told ET that he wishes ABC aired even more of his dynamic with Corinne, who said in an August 11 statement that her hookup with DeMario took place in a hot tub during the first night of filming, not in the pool during the day.
"We're supposed to be on Paradise to mate, relate, have fun, to look for, you know, your future girlfriend, wife or whatever," DeMario continued, attempting to justify why it wasn't fair that he was sent home.
"And for me to get kicked off based off of hooking up, like we're supposed to do? That's like me playing for the [Los Angeles] Lakers and I get suspended for dunking a basketball. Like, that's my job."
But DeMario accepts responsibility for choosing to appear on a reality dating show to begin with, knowing there may be consequences of putting himself out there for the world to see.
"I signed up for this reality. I feel guilty, because my mom didn't sign up for this, and she's been getting harassed, people tweeting at her, on her Instagram saying, 'Your son's a rapist.' That was the part I was most sad about," DeMario disclosed.
"I feel like I created this for my family, in a sense, by being a little reckless. And I just want to say I'm sorry to them."
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About The Author: Elizabeth Kwiatkowski
