Former The Bachelorette star Andi Dorfman has revealed the harsh and shocking truth behind why her nine-month engagement to Josh Murray allegedly crumbled.
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"I don't usually let my emotions get the best of me," Dorfman told Us Weekly while promoting her new memoir It's Okay: Turning Heartbreak Into Happily Never After, which hits shelves May 17.
But Dorfman fell hard for the financial advisor and upcoming star of E!'s new Famously Single reality series.
"I was 100 percent sure I'd spend my life with him," said Dorfman, a former assistant district attorney who is now pursuing a career in fashion design.
The couple returned to Atlanta, GA, together after the show but then split in January 2015. Dorfman and Murray's breakup came as a shock to Bachelor Nation, and neither individual ever discussed their issues in public -- other than Dorfman crying to Chris Harrison about how much it hurt to lose the former pro baseball player during an ABC special that aired towards the end of Chris Soules' The Bachelor season.
According to Dorfman, Murray was the jealous type and emotionally abusive in their relationship.
Dorfman reportedly wrote in her memoir that it was "the most volatile and f-cked up relationship of my life."
While taping The Bachelorette, Dorfman had sex with runner-up Nick Viall during their overnight Fantasy-Suite date. Dorfman claims Murray threatened their romance would be "over" if it turned out she had also slept with Viall during the filming, so the usual tough-as-nails Bachelorette lied at first, Us reported. She eventually, however, came clean to her fiance right before the episode aired on TV.
Dorfman writes in her book, "He was devastated, angry and hurt, badly. I apologized profusely for lying. He seemed to struggle over whether he was more upset by the fact that I had lied or that I'd had sex with another man. Several more apologies later, it became clear the issue was about my having sex with someone else."
"That one sexual escapade would become a power play used by my fiance to justify his mistrust in me," she continued in the excerpt obtained by Us. "It would be an excuse to call me a whore. And it would eventually lead to the demise of my engagement."
Dorfman called themselves "two hotheads," insisting they butted heads constantly. Murray allegedly had issues with Dorfman's desire to return to work after The Bachelorette -- which he dubbed a "selfish" move -- and her friendships with other men.
The couple's problems came to a head one September 2014 night in a New York City hotel. The former Bachelorette said she gave her three-carat Neil Lane diamond ring back to Murray and needed to take a walk because she couldn't sleep.
RELATED LINK: 'THE BACHELORETTE' COUPLES NOW"Alone in a random church, I cradled my head in my hands and began to sob. For the first time, I thought, I don't think we're going to make it. But the thought scared me -- if I wasn't the happy fiancee, who was I? Back then, I wasn't ready to answer that question," Dorfman reportedly writes in another excerpt from her memoir.
"With little time to spare, I pulled myself together and dashed back. It wasn't until [our plane took off] that he leaned into me and whispered in my ear that he was sorry. I looked at him only to find tears rolling down his face. I had never seen him cry. Without hesitation, I wrapped my arms around him and began crying as well. It had been one of the worst fights we'd ever had, but I wasn't ready to lose him."
In response to Dorfman's side of the story, Murray told the magazine in a statement, "It saddens me and is very unfortunate that Andi has chosen to characterize me in such a negative way. I pray she finds peace."
About The Author: Elizabeth Kwiatkowski
