Former The Bachelorette star Emily Maynard has revealed her past was even more difficult that people realize.

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When Maynard first appeared on Season 15 of The Bachelor starring Brad Womack, she shared her sad story of how she had been engaged to former NASCAR driver Ricky Hendrick but he died in a tragic plane crash in 2004. Shortly after he passed away, Maynard learned she was pregnant with his daughter.

"Things haven't been super easy for me," Maynard, whose book I Said Yes will be released next week, told People. "As great as things are now, it's been a struggle for me. My life definitely isn't perfect. Is anybody's?"

But Maynard's situation was even more grim before she began dating Hendrick when she was 16-years-old. Maynard apparently went through a "really hard" time while attending boarding school in Florida as a young teen.

"I didn't feel like I fit in," Maynard, now 30, admitted.

The eighth-season The Bachelorette star experienced feelings of worthlessness and unhappiness to the point where she attempted to kill herself. Maynard was hospitalized twice in a six-month span -- once for threatening suicide and another time for overdosing on prescription pain pills.

"It really was a cry for help," Maynard explained. "I never really wanted to end things. I just wanted attention. It makes me sad to think about. I was so focused on the part of my heart that was empty that I couldn't see beyond where I was."

Once Maynard welcomed her daughter Ricki, now 10-years-old, she battled through a "couple of years" that were "so hard" without Hendrick at her side.

As a single mom who just lost the love of her life, Maynard confessed to People, "I didn't know if I was coming or going. I was lost. I went to therapists but I knew nothing they would tell me was going to make me feel better. Mine was an issue of the heart that I needed to work out myself. And I knew that time would do that."

Maynard went on to get engaged three more times. Her engagement to Womack ended in 2011 with the former Bachelor admitting he had "dodged a bullet." The couple began encountering problems shortly following ABC's March 2011 broadcast of the show's season finale.

When Maynard starred on The Bachelorette in Summer 2012, Jef Holm proposed. However, they broke up in October of that year following two months of reports their relationship had been on the rocks.

Some of the speculation had been that Maynard cheated on Holm while other rumors claimed Holm was just hungry for the limelight.

The pair reportedly reunited and decided to give their relationship another shot in December 2012 but things fell apart again later that month. A source told Us Weekly at the time Holm ultimately "crushed her."

Maynard is now happily married to her "very best friend" Tyler Johnson. They wed in June 2014 and the former reality TV star gave birth to a son named Jennings in July 2015.

When looking back on her life, Maynard admitted, "Of course I have regrets. But I don't regret doing the show. It showed me what I want and what I don't want. Honestly, it was a blessing in my life."


About The Author: Elizabeth Kwiatkowski

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