The Bachelor runner-up Gabi Elnicki has revealed she's "still getting over" her relationship with Zach Shallcross and that her friendship with Kaity Biggar is a little complicated.
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Zach dumped Gabi at the Final Rose Ceremony of The Bachelor's 27th season in favor of Kaity, whom he proposed marriage to.
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Not only did Zach break Gabi's heart as part of a grand spectacle for TV, but he also spilled their oh-so-personal secret that they had sex in the Fantasy Suite, which made Gabi feel betrayed and "violated."
In addition, Gabi felt Zach lied to her about when exactly he had chosen Kaity as his winner.
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"I'm not somebody that holds grudges towards people. I don't hold resentment. I don't hold anger... [but] I'm hurting a little bit still," Gabi told Season 11 The Bachelorette star Kaitlyn Bristowe on the April 6 episode of the "Off the Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe" podcast.
"Do I think I'm going to be, like, pals with Zach? No. Am I still angry and hurt? Absolutely."
Gabi admitted she's still struggling to move past the fact Zach had told Kaity, The Bachelor host Jesse Palmer, and the rest of the world that they had slept together during their overnight date when cameras stopped rolling.
"But he is going to hopefully marry one of my close friends, and I plan to stay in Kaity's life," Gabi said.
"And, you know, for me to hold hate towards him and anger and resentment -- I'm hoping I can let that go at some point."
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But Gabi confessed, "I do think that, at this point, I still feel violated. And I'm still getting over all of it... Everyone feels the emotion at some point, 'I'm not lovable right now'... It was such a deep and painful rejection on such a public platform."
Both Kaity and Gabi have said in the media that they were very close friends while filming The Bachelor and plan to "remain friends," but Gabi admitted on "Off the Vine" their dynamic is a bit "awkward" at the moment.
"It's difficult because I only want what's best for Kaity, but I don't think that Zach is a bad person. I don't think that he is a vindictive, mean person," Gabi explained.
"I don't think he meant to hurt me; I think he just did because he wanted to save his relationship with Kaity. That's a person he loves and he wants to spend his life with, and so I can't fault him for that."
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But Gabi acknowledged she's still "upset" and "disappointed" about the way everything went down on television.
"I have a lot of emotions, and some of them don't necessarily have words, but I want the best for [Kaity]. And so, if he makes her happy and he respects her, and he shows her, you know, love and he protects her, then I'm happy for them," Gabi said, adding how she'll always be in Kaity's corner.
"If I ever see that not happening, I'll be like, 'Kaity, you need to walk away,' just like I would do with any one of my friends and whoever they're dating."
Gabi pointed out how she's "trying to separate" herself from her "experience" on The Bachelor and "judging their relationship from this point forward."
"It's going to take time. It's awkward, right?! It's a little awkward," Gabi admitted.
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Kaitlyn, who previously co-hosted two seasons of The Bachelorette after starring on the series in 2015, joked about how Gabi and Kaity's situation is "awkward as hell."
Gabi agreed, but she pointed out, "Maybe something I don't want to share with Kaity, because I don't want to hurt her or her relationship, I can talk to [Ariel Frenkel] and I can talk to [Jess Girod]. Those are two close friends I have from the show who understand what all goes on."
"It's not because I don't want to share with Kaity; I don't want to impact their relationship in any way when I'm still healing from this," Gabi elaborated.
"She has been nothing but supportive to me... and she's encouraged me to speak how I'm feeling. But she also supports Zach, too, and I'm fully aware of that."
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When asked whether she's "over" Zach, Gabi replied, "I think I thought I was over him."
She continued, "But when you leave the bubble, you are saying goodbye for good, right? You can't call them, you can't text them. I'm not hitting him up on Instagram. He's with, you know, one of my best friends and I knew they were together. And I wouldn't have wanted to reach out to him anyways."
Gabi said she melted back into her normal routine of working in sales and the only people who knew about what happened were very close to her.
"But then watching it back was definitely more difficult because I saw it from all points of view. And I also was like, 'Wait, what is [this]? What is true? What is not true? Is any of this fabricated?' You just have so many questions that come up," Gabi recalled.
"[That] was difficult. But for me, I don't think I'm over how violated I felt by the end of the show and how hurt I felt. But I'm over Zach... I don't know. Maybe I'm not over him and I'm just saying that."
Gabi, however, said if Zach came running back to her and wanted her back, she'd say, "No."
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Gabi confirmed she's had "sad days" and also "really happy" days moving on from her time on The Bachelor.
"Such is life, and you've got to just keep moving... I'm back on a healing journey with therapy," Gabi said, noting how working again has been a good "distraction" for her.
Gabi told Kaitlyn that she's been surrounding herself with people she loves as well as exercising and eating healthy.
"I need to focus on me for a while and not jump to put a Band-Aid on what I'm feeling right now. It's okay to be alone, and I think I need to learn that," Gabi concluded.
"But if Tyler Cameron reached out to me, I would respond. But I'm totally not going to shoot my shot right now!"
Gabi said on the March 30 episode of the "Click Bait with Bachelor Nation" podcast that she'd be interested in meeting Tyler and The Bachelorette 19 alums Aven Jones and Spencer Swies if she decides to appear on Bachelor in Paradise this summer.
Meanwhile, Kaity and Zach plan to move in together in Austin, TX, this summer, and they've already discussed their five-year plan, which includes a 2025 wedding.
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