Gia Allemand's suicide was reportedly sparked by her inability to cope with the idea of a breakup with Ryan Anderson, the man she had thought would give her what she wanted most in life.
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"All she really wanted was to be married, with a family. She just wanted to be a wife and mom," a friend told Us Weekly in its latest issue.
""She expected to get that with Ryan soon."
The former The Bachelor and Bachelor Pad contestant was in an alleged rocky relationship with Anderson, a professional basketball player who plays for the NBA's New Orleans Pelicans, prior to her hanging on the night of August 12.
Allemand had reportedly moved from Orlando, FL to New Orleans last year to be close to Anderson when he was traded from the Orlando Magic to the New Orleans Pelicans. She was maintaining her own apartment a few blocks from Anderson's Cotton Mill condo complex to respect her boyfriend's "religious" views -- one being he didn't want to live with a woman until marriage, according to Us.
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Once Allemand uprooted her life for Anderson, she was allegedly unhappy he was refusing to propose.
"Ryan is young. He wasn't ready to commit. Gia wanted a future," said the friend, adding that Allemand felt "lonely" when Anderson would travel for games.
"Gia wanted to be the best girlfriend ever."
Allemand's persistence to wed and Anderson's alleged hesitation led to many arguments between the couple. Sources told Us the pair really went at it one time when Anderson scurried off to Las Vegas alone.
"He told Gia he was going to bed," an insider told the magazine. The following morning, "someone tweeted Gia a photo of Ryan in a club popping a bottle. Gia asked Ryan if he went out, and he lied. That really upset her. She felt Ryan had turned into a different person."
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The couple's disagreements apparently pushed Anderson even further away from Allemand emotionally.
"He started breakup talks. They were fighting a lot," the friend said.
Added an Allemand pal, "Gia didn't want to burden others with her issues."
Allemand reportedly had high hopes for her relationship with Anderson following failed romances with former The Bachelor star Jake Pavelka, New York Yankees pitcher Carl Pavano, NHL hockey player Chris Campoli, and former Bachelor Pad co-star Wes Hayden.
"She was miserable that another relationship went wrong," explained the friend.
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Allemand didn't understand why she couldn't have a fairy tale ending of her own when she witnessed them happening to many people close to her, according to Us.
"All her friends were getting married," said the friend. "She wondered when it would happen to her."
"Gia felt like she was failing at the one area in her life that she really wanted to succeed in," added the Allemand pal.
"Tormented" by her weakened and stagnant relationship with Anderson and allegedly plagued with nagging insecurities, Allemand killed herself at age 29.
TMZ had reported Anderson found Allemand unconscious, sitting on the steps of a spiral staircase in his home with a vacuum cleaner cord "wrapped around her neck many times" earlier this month.
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Neighbors heard screams and rushed into the apartment complex only to allegedly find Anderson "valiantly" attempting to revive Allemand.
"It was awful," neighbor Mike Simpson told Us. "I saw Ryan holding Gia and crying and saying 'Why? Why?' through his sobs."
After 911 was dialed, Allemand was taken to University Hospital in New Orleans.
After remaining in critical condition and on life support, Allemand passed away two days later when her life support was withdrawn due to the fact she had "a critical loss of brain and organ function," according to Allemand's family.
The former reality TV star's wake and funeral were held last week and many friends and loved ones gathered together to pay their respects and say goodbye.
Anderson "is so devastated, he can't stop crying long enough to speak," a family insider told Us.
Allemand competed on The Bachelor's fourteenth season, which aired in 2010 and starred Pavelka.
Allemand was one of the last three The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love bachelorettes in the running to receive Pavelka's final rose, however he eliminated her in favor of Tenley Molzahn and Vienna Girardi at the season's penultimate Rose Ceremony.
Afterward, Allemand returned to compete on the first and second seasons of the reality dating show's Bachelor Pad spinoff, which aired in 2010 and 2011 respectively.
About The Author: Elizabeth Kwiatkowski