"American Idol" winner Fantasia Barrino reveals in her book "Life Is Not a Fairy Tale" she is just learning to read and write.

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The 21-year-old single mother's new autobiography also reveals she was raped as a ninth grader, People magazine reports.

"Illiteracy is the same as having blinders on," she told ABC's "20/20" Friday night.

"You're illiterate to just about everything. You don't want to misspell," she said. "So that, for me, kept me ... in a box and I didn't, wouldn't come out."

Barrino said she kept her secret throughout the "Idol" competition. But the worst part is not being able to read to her 4-year-old daughter.

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"That hurts really bad," she said.

She dropped out of school the year she was raped by a popular boy in her class.

At "one point in time I was saying it was my fault," she said. "Just because of the way I was dressed, I caused it on myself."