Jana Kramer has bravely shared her story about surviving an abusive relationship with her first husband, Michael Gambino, who ultimately tried to kill her and was imprisoned for attempted murder in 2005.
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Kramer wants to be a voice for battered women fearful of leaving their abusive partners because she, too, risked her life in choosing to stay with one about a decade ago.
"I truly believe I stayed with my husband even after the abuse because, like a lot of women who are in abusive relationships, you think it's your fault. By the end of it, you just feel so little that you've got really nothing else to give," the Dancing with the Stars contestant told People.
Shortly after their 2004 wedding, Gambino allegedly pushed and verbally abused Kramer. His violent acts quickly escalated into regularly beatings and choking episodes, according to the 32-year-old actress and country singer.
"I literally walked around on eggshells, terrified to tell anybody, because I was so ashamed of the situation I had put myself in," Kramer said. "It was like, 'I put myself in this and now I have to figure out how to get out of it, or stay in it and make it better.'"
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But much to Kramer's dismay, she said the beatings "just got worse and worse" and her angry and often jealous ex-husband made a pattern of such behavior. Some nights, she'd have to sleep in her car or hide in the bushes outside of her home to give Gambino time to blow off steam.
"He'd come home at 3 o'clock in the morning and pick me up out of bed, throw me onto the ground and start yelling and hitting," confessed Kramer, who hid bruises with makeup. "Then the next morning he'd be like, 'Hey, baby,' as if nothing had happened... My self-confidence went down each time he was abusive."
The domestic abuse came to a head on August 6, 2005, according to People, when Gambino choked Kramer into unconsciousness and left her bleeding on the gravel outside of their Los Angeles home.
"I remember praying that night, 'Please, just take me away, I don't want to be here anymore,'" Kramer disclosed.
Gambino was convicted of attempted murder and sentenced to six years in prison. Two years after his 2010 release, he committed suicide.
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Kramer still has small scars on her shoulder and arm that remind her of the night she almost lost her life, but the DWTS contestant also has scars that run much deeper.
"Abuse is always going to be a part of my life. It's my past. But I'll never let my past define me," she said. "I don't have everything figured out obviously, but I feel like I'm in a place where I don't have to be ashamed. I don't want to play the victim."
Kramer also had a difficult early childhood due to a strained relationship with her father, Martin Kramer, who apparently influenced her unhealthy approach to dating men.
"Nothing was ever good enough for my father. I was always trying yo get his attention and, through therapy, I realized that followed through into my relationships... When I met Mike, he was that older guy I was trying to impress," Kramer revealed.
Kramer said all she's ever wanted is "to be loved, to love someone and to have a family."
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Although she separated from her third husband, former NFL tight end Mike Caussin, in August, Kramer acknowledged she finds strength in her child, an eight-month-old daughter Jolie Rae Caussin.
"Even though my past isn't pretty, it's shaped me into the person I am today," she told the magazine, "and now I want to help people. I want to help women out of bad situations."
Kramer added that all women are strong and absolutely deserving of a beautiful life.
About The Author: Elizabeth Kwiatkowski