Jubilee Sharpe is a complicated woman as Ben Higgins came to find out on The Bachelor, but it was her many layers that drove him wild.
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"I won't lie; I was really kind of put off by [Jubilee]'s energy at the beginning of the date. I mean, I do put a lot of thought into who I pick to go one each date because I know how valuable that one-on-one time is, and I know that there are a lot of women that will go home before they ever get that chance. So when a woman like Jubilee doesn't seem as excited for the date as I am, it is a little bit of a bummer," Higgins wrote in his People blog.
"It wasn't until we were actually in the helicopter that Jubilee really started to loosen up and I started to get a feel for her personality and her humor. That's when I realized that she wasn't unappreciative at all. She was just nervous. And she has a very sarcastic humor. A sarcastic humor that I really love. I just didn't get it at first."
As Higgins kept repeating on Monday night's The Bachelor episode, he loved how Sharpe was unapologetically herself.
"She didn't care if it was the right thing to say or if a comment was going to offend me, she just said it. Even the 'white boy' comment. And if I wasn't going to react to it the way she wanted me to, then that would've meant that we weren't right for each other," Higgins said.
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"It's so often in dating situations that people try to be too perfect -- to say or do the exact right thing so they won't scare the other person off... I don't want someone falling in love with some very similar but polished and perfect version of who I am. I want someone to fall in love with who I am -- even the awkward, uncool and sometimes ugly parts of me. And I loved that Jubilee wasn't afraid of that either."
Sharpe's ability to show her true colors on their one-on-one date made Higgins respect her because it took courage. That night, the war veteran just continued to impress him more.
"The fact that she was willing to open up to me about her family and even the guilt she lives with every day for being the only one that survived in her family, I was just in awe of her as a person. Everyone has made so much of me being able to open up about being unlovable... But what Jubilee did was far beyond anything I could ever imagine," he wrote in the blog.
"I wasn't sure going into this night that I could admire and respect Jubilee any more than I already did but wow. That is the type of woman I want to marry someday. A woman that I am in awe of and that makes me strive to be a better man every single day of my life. So again, there wasn't any hesitation in my mind that I was going to offer Jubilee that rose. And I was just over-the-moon that she accepted it."
During the cocktail party, Sharpe broke down into tears over girl-drama in the house, and the Bachelor didn't know what else to do other than console her.
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"It's hard as the Bachelor knowing when to step into a situation like that. Oftentimes I think it's okay to let the women work through their issues with each other without my involvement. And, in a way, it tells me a lot about each woman based on how they handle conflict in their lives. But I could tell this time I needed to step in and help," Higgins said.
"Jubilee wasn't opening the door or talking to anyone, but after the week we had together, I knew she would talk to me. And at first I was just really trying to figure out even what was wrong, so I was glad that [Amber James] came up and helped clarify it. I get how some of the other women could be offended by what Jubilee had said to start the date because even I was put off initially."
But Higgins reiterated how Sharpe didn't censor herself in any way.
"[That]'s part of what I love so much about her and I didn't want that to change. I do wish that the women had been able to work this about between themselves and I think that is what Amber was trying to do, but more than anything, I am just glad we got to the bottom of it and resolved it quickly," the Bachelor noted.
When reflecting on the week as a whole, "raw emotion" stood out to Higgins most.
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"I guess it makes sense and I should've known that the ladies were struggling as much as they were, but I didn't. I only see what I see in our interactions. But I knew that the feelings were getting more and more real for me much faster than I anticipated so it only makes sense that some of them were struggling as well," Higgins explained.
"And when you really start to care about someone or something it can cause a lot more tension amongst the group. It all makes sense, but it still struck me as I watched this week. I think had I known, the cocktail party with Jubilee and Amber and [Lace Morris] and everyone else would have been a lot less of a shock than it was."
The Bachelor airs Monday nights at 8PM ET/PT on ABC.
About The Author: Elizabeth Kwiatkowski