The Bachelorette alum Kaitlyn Bristowe has explained why she felt betrayed by Jason Tartick during their relationship, and why she's still working through resentment after their breakup.
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"[I worry my partner is] going to do something better than me and then they won't need me anymore and they'll fall out of love with me and I'm not special enough," Kaitlyn shared, adding how she tends to believe that men only want to be with her when they need something from her.
When asked to describe a moment when she didn't feel like she mattered to a man, Kaitlyn replied, "We'll use my last relationship as an example. And this always feels so silly to say out loud because it's my own sh-t, but it made me feel betrayal, and I think it matters."
Kaitlyn went on to explain how launching and operating her "Off the Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe" podcast made her feel special and fulfilled.
"I felt like I finally found what I was meant to do on this planet and share my voice and make people laugh and have deep conversations and not-so-deep conversations," Kaitlyn shared.
And so after her highly-publicized breakup with The Bachelorette 11 winner Shawn Booth in late 2018, Kaitlyn said she wanted to find a stable and well-rooted man -- "someone who doesn't want to be an influencer" or work in the entertainment industry.
"[I wanted a guy] who has a regular job and who is established in their own career and they could shine in their world and I can shine in mine," Kaitlyn explained.
"Because for so long, I had been searching for something that I was good at and I could do as a career."
Jason, a Buffalo native who had competed for Becca Kufrin's heart on The Bachelorette's fourteenth season in 2018, asked Kaitlyn out on their first date in January 2019, and their romance moved quickly.
"And so when I met Jason, it was very much like, 'Oh, no, I'm not going to be an influencer, I work at a bank. I'm VP of this bank and I worked way too hard in school to let all that go. I did nine years of this, I got my MBA, and I'm going back to my regular job,'" Kaitlyn alleged.
"I was like, 'Okay, this is going to work out perfectly. He's a great guy, he doesn't want to be an influencer, he's going to make hay while the sun shines because he was on The Bachelor and he can bring in some cash, but really, he's so established in his bank job that we're going to have our separate lives.'"
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But Kaitlyn admitted that Jason had "lost that job" because of her. (Early into Kaitlyn and Jason's romance, she talked about dry humping him during an episode of her podcast, and Jason's boss apparently didn't appreciate reading such headlines about his employee).
Jason, a New York native, therefore had to pivot since he didn't want to suppress Kaitlyn's voice or give up social media entirely.
"His boss was like, 'People can't Google you and see this kind of information come up.' And [Jason] wasn't happy at that job, so I knew it was kind of a blessing in disguise. But I felt terrible... and his entire family was upset. It felt like my fault," Kaitlyn admitted.
Jason decided to quit his banking job and move from his place in Seattle, WA, to live with Kaitlyn in Nashville, TN, in June 2019.
After they moved in together, Jason did a "face-first dive into influencer life," according to the former The Bachelorette star.
"I said, 'This is really hard for me because it was going to be a non-negotiable, but I love you and I'm going to look past this because you're a good person and I think you might be my person,'" Kaitlyn recalled.
Kaitlyn recognized that Jason "could make money that way" and use his financial career to help other people.
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"I said, 'I'm just going to ask you to please not start a podcast. It feels really important to me, and it's something that makes me feel really special and I'm good at it.' Not everybody had a podcast at the time," Kaitlyn shared.
Jason apparently obliged at first but then changed his mind.
"As time went on, he realized that podcasting is another avenue for income and that he could do a finance podcast," Kaitlyn said.
"Slowly but surely, it was like, 'He's definitely going to do a podcast.'"
Kaitlyn claimed that she didn't want to give Jason an ultimatum -- such as "me or the podcast, you pick" -- but she was hoping it wouldn't come down to that.
"I was hoping that I would be chosen, my feelings would be chosen. A podcast was not worth it for him when he could be making all this other money in other avenues," Kaitlyn explained.
"And he had said, 'It's not fair if you emotionally and financially stunt my growth.' And I had a full panic attack in my backyard because I didn't know how to behave. This was before I was on medication for my anxiety too."
Jason currently hosts his "Trading Secrets" podcast, and he also recently released a book titled Talk Money To Me.
Kaitlyn added, "I felt like I wasn't chosen and that my feelings were not worth over money for him."
That feeling of not being the priority apparently triggered Kaitlyn, who had allegedly experienced not being chosen multiple times in her relationship with Shawn.
"I hate that I always have to talk about Shawn and Jason... but I felt the same way with Shawn. It was a nail in the coffin when he was going to open this gym. It felt like he didn't actually truly love me at the end and he was hanging onto it just until his gym opened," Kaitlyn explained.
"So I was like, 'Is [Jason] going to hang on until he gets to the point where he wants it in his career and then I'm going to be disposable?'"
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Kaitlyn said she's working on those issues in therapy but Jason had essentially poked into "an open wound" while they were together.
"[Jason was like], 'It doesn't matter. For me, professionally, financially, personally -- it is for my growth, and I'm going to choose that,'" Kaitlyn claimed.
"And who am I to say 'no' to that? But it did create this resentment and betrayal feeling and it kind of happened a little bit behind my back where it was like, 'By the way, I am starting a podcast.' And I was like, 'What?'"
Kaitlyn admitted she was "so sad" because she didn't think she'd be able to grow with this new version of Jason, with whom she adopted two dogs and got engaged in May 2021.
"I felt like I lost the version of somebody I thought I was going to marry," Kaitlyn confessed. "I want us to choose ourselves but also choose each other."
Once Kaitlyn and Jason announced their split in August 2023, Kaitlyn was photographed on New Year's Eve with The Bachelorette 16 winner Zac Clark, whom she still appears to be dating.
Kaitlyn previously admitted on "Off the Vine" she was "disappointed" in how Jason handled their breakup, and she accused him of having a "victim mentality" and searching for sympathy from fans on social media.
"I don't want to dismiss that he's hurting," Kaitlyn shared. "The word disappointment keeps coming up. I feel so disappointed that someone could use a false narrative, like, a false narrative accusation to garner sympathy for themselves."
Rumors then swirled in March 2024 that Jason had moved on with TikTok star Kat Stickler, who was a guest on Jason's "Trading Secrets" podcast.
The Bachelorette 14 alum and Kat made multiple public appearances together in April and May before confirming their relationship via Instagram on June 12.
Kaitlyn took to Instagram Stories to express how she was feeling on June 13, and she vented, "People make me f-cking sick... IF YOU ONLY KNEW."
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The former Dancing with the Stars winner set her post to "The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived," which appeared to be a jab at Jason.
The song "The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived" is about betrayal and a deceitful partner who had pretended to be something he's not.
The Bachelorette alum first commented on Jason and Kat's Instagram-official announcement by writing on a Facebook group designed to support her "Off the Vine" podcast.
One Facebook user wrote, "We need to let go of the narrative that KB is hurt/saddened by Jason's relationship. She has very clearly moved on. And truthfully, based on some of her cryptic comments, there's no love lost on her part."
Kaitlyn replied, "It's more of some held on anger and resentment that I'm working through!!! Not hurt."
Kaitlyn thanked those who had written kind words to her, but she also slammed trolls who had suggested Jason's new romance probably wouldn't upset her since she appears to be dating The Bachelorette alum Zac Clark, with whom she's been spotted in public multiple times since their relationship made headlines in January.
"Y'all are making some wild assumptions in here," Kaitlyn wrote in the thread.
RELATED LINK: 'THE BACHELOR' FRANCHISE COUPLES NOW: WHO IS STILL TOGETHER?? (PHOTOS)
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About The Author: Elizabeth Kwiatkowski
