Kaitlyn Bristowe is opening up about her recent painful split from her ex-fiance Shawn Booth.
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On the Tuesday episode of the former The Bachelorette star's Off the Vine podcast, Kaitlyn choked back her tears as she spoke about what went wrong in her three-year relationship after falling in love with Shawn on The Bachelorette's eleventh season, Us Weekly reported.
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Kaitlyn, 33, reportedly began the conversation by addressing "the big elephant in the room," referring to her breakup.
"I'm going to try and get through this," Kaitlyn said, explaining she had made herself as "comfortable as possible" to allow herself to be vulnerable. "This was all so much harder than I thought it would be."
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Kaitlyn admitted she went through a few "really hard" months with Shawn but she believed they "would get through it."
"We were in a crossroads in our relationship, but to be honest, I thought we would choose the road where we'd end up together," Kaitlyn explained, according to Us.
"I just never took our commitment or being engaged lightly at all. I had the mindset of doing whatever it took to make it work. And now realizing maybe to a fault."
Kaitlyn tried to remain optimistic, but the writing was on the wall -- and family and friends apparently noticed.
"I was getting a lot of messages from people, you know, over the past few months saying, 'We know it's done so just tell us,'" Kaitlyn reportedly shared.
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"But, to be honest, I guess I just wasn't ready to accept it, until I was, and that is when we announced it. It had to be on our timeline for our relationship, and not what other people expected from us."
In terms of what went wrong, Kaitlyn revealed she and Shawn, a 31-year-old gym owner, have "important fundamental values that weren't lining up" and they realized they'd "probably never see eye-to-eye" on them.
"We were left with no choice but to be honest with ourselves and with each other, and we are so lucky for the memories we've created and all the beautiful moments that we had," Kaitlyn reportedly said.
Although clearly devastated -- as Kaitlyn's voice reportedly cracked in her explanation -- she is not going to give up on love.
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"I know there are many bright days ahead," Kaitlyn said, according to the magazine, adding that she knows she "will find happiness."
Kaitlyn and Shawn announced their breakup through a joint media statement earlier this month.
"In a weird way, as much as I was dreading releasing that statement -- and accepting that it was the end -- it has let me close the door on that thought of forever and start envisioning my new future ahead," Kaitlyn reportedly admitted.
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"Which I am excited about and I hope from all of this I can choose to look forward and not in the rearview mirror of what it could have been, and what could have been different."
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Kaitlyn also insisted in her podcast she and Shawn will "remain friends" in the future.
Less than two weeks after news of the couple's split circulated, Shawn broke his silence on Instagram.
"I just want to thank everyone who has been so supportive of my relationship with Kaitlyn over the years," Shawn wrote in a heartfelt post on November 12.
"You've made me feel incredibly special, supported, and very loved. So from the bottom of my heart, thank you. It truly means a lot. And thank you to everyone who has sent their love & support during this painful time. I love you guys."
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About The Author: Elizabeth Kwiatkowski