Kendra Wilkinson is apparently in emotional turmoil and struggling to forgive husband Hank Baskett III in light of allegations he cheated on her with a transsexual.

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The cheating allegations broke in July, just about two months after the Kendra on Top star, 29, had given birth to her second child, a baby girl named Alijah Mary, with Baskett, a 32-year-old former NFL player, following five years of marriage.

"My world just came to an end at that moment. I was in extreme pain. And alone. I actually did the opposite of what people thought I would do -- I agreed to shoot the show, because I couldn't be alone," Wilkinson told People in its latest issue.

"I've come so close to the divorce. I have met with lawyers."

Wilkinson, who also has a four-year-old son Hank IV with Baskett, kept the cameras rolling for Kendra On Top's third season as all of this drama unfolded. The new edition is set to debut October 3 on WE tv.

"The one thing I can't forget are these two kids. And this is still the guy I married, the man that I love so much... One thing I do know is that Hank isn't gay, and I don't believe he has a transsexual fetish. Those are my beliefs," she said.

The former Playboy Playmate and twelfth-season Dancing with the Stars contestant explained her story from the beginning, when she first began having major problems with her husband.

Wilkinson apparently struggled with postpartum depression after giving birth to Hank Jr. in December 2009. 

"I was having pelvic issues... I was pretty much bedridden because I was in so much pain. So I would overthink about how my body wasn't going to get back to normal anymore. I started getting really insecure and questioning our marriage and what Hank wants... I'd wonder, 'Is Hank going to think I'm ugly? Is Hank going to not want me anymore?' I put a lot of pressure on him, and questioned our love," Wilkinson told the magazine.

And then things got progressively worse.

"Soon there was a lot of distance between us. I didn't want him in my space, because I was pregnant and hormonal. I didn't want him looking at me in the shower anymore. He slept in a different room, on the couch most of the time, because I was so miserable," she said.

In late June, Wilkinson was relaxing with Baskett only to receive a phone call from her agent, asking her if she was with her husband in the moment, which she playfully denied.

"Hank leaned in, and my agent said, 'I want you to know there's this weird rumor going around right now that your husband cheated on you with a transsexual.' I just went, 'Oh my God. Really? Are you sure it's Hank?' And he said, 'They said it's a reality couple and the guy plays football.' I was like, 'This story cannot be Hank,'" the reality TV star explained.

Baskett apparently denied, denied, denied -- and she desperately wanted to take his word for it.

"I Googled the story, and then I just asked, 'Hank, did anything happen?' He said, 'No, are you kidding me? This is insane!' So I believed him. We totally brushed it aside. Then later I got a call saying the news was about to drop. When a magazine accuses someone of something, they usually have some sort of evidence. So then I thought, 'Okay. Now the sh-t's getting really real," the former Splash participant told People.

"That's when I lost it. When the new broke, I just flipped. I flipped on Hank, and I just screamed, 'Get out of the house!' I had to believe some of it. He's not saying anything, he's just denying it."

Wilkinson then asked Baskett to take their son to his parents' house in New Mexico to protect him from the media, leaving her at home alone to care for their newborn daughter, who was just five-weeks-old at this point. She said watching her young son leave was the hardest thing she's ever had to do.

"We knew that there was going to be a sh-tstorm. It was so gross. I felt like I just gave my son to the man who had cheated on his family. But... he's a great father," she said.

"Then I started noticing there were sources, insiders. Someone told [the press] that I flushed my wedding ring down the toilet. So not only am I dealing with my husband potentially cheating on me, I'm dealing with the people who I'm closest to leaking stuff. Only a couple of people knew about me flushing my wedding ring. My trust level went out the door."

According to the magazine, Baskett is continuing to deny the infidelity rumor and now living in an apartment near Wilkinson to help take care of their children.

"I can't have him in the house right now," Wilkinson noted, adding, however, she doesn't want to give up.

"I really don't want this marriage to end. I can't just flip a switch and not love Hank anymore. I'm ready to forgive Hank, it's just that I need to know the truth first... I really don't know what to believe.

Wilkinson acknowledged that Baskett could've either made a huge mistake or was set up.

"He's in a lot of therapy right now, so hopefully he gets to a place where he tells me the truth. I can't live my life wondering. I've cried all the tears I could cry. Now I just need to breathe and see what naturally happens," Wilkinson explained.

In light of the scandal and heartbreak, Wilkinson insisted she's not putting on an act for the cameras and viewers of her show will only observe sincerity and brutal honesty.

"I'm a person who shares every inch of my soul. My fans thank me because I'm not this phony celebrity who just pretends to be perfect. This is my reality, this is my world -- documentary style... My way of coping with the pain is to share it, to talk about it," Wilkinson said.

"This is real life playing out here. It's not just going to have some happy ending... I hope people watch this, because if you want a real look at what a real marriage looks like, this is it. You're living my life with me. And I've stayed true to who I am from day one."
About The Author: Elizabeth Kwiatkowski

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