Married at First Sight expert Pastor Calvin Roberson has defended matching Erik Lake and Virginia Coombs for matrimony given Virginia admits to having abandonment issues and Erik frequently travels for work.
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On the March 17 episode of Married at First Sight: Unfiltered, Pastor Cal, Erik and fellow MAFS star Haley Harris watched back a Season 12 clip of Virginia complaining to Erik that his communication could've been better when he had to leave for a few days for work.
"It's just me. That's how it's going to be; it's just my job," Erik tells Virginia in the clip.
Unfiltered host Jamie Otis -- who starred on Season 1 of Married at First Sight -- asked Erik for his thoughts on Virginia's complaint.
"I mean, I definitely agree with what she's saying," Erik replied.
"I was married previously but I've been single for three years as well, so I've been used to just doing my trips and doing my thing and not having to worry about that kind of stuff."
Erik added, "So I can say that to her all day, but it still goes for me as well. I need to take accountability for that."
Jamie then asked Erik whether he thought Virginia was being truthful when she had claimed she'd be fine with him traveling often and frequently being away from home for work.
"I do worry that that's going to take a toll, and it has in my past relationships and things. So, I want her to feel that I'm thinking of her when I'm gone," Erik explained.
"It's just, again, the communication for us, for sure."
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Haley said she could relate to Erik's position in her own marriage to Jacob Harder.
"I travel a lot for work and so I can understand where Erik is coming from in a sense. I mean, I see both sides," Haley noted.
"But, you know, we've been on our own and this is flipping our worlds upside down. So I think if they continue the communication -- [Erik] voices his needs and [Virginia] voices her needs -- you guys are going to be fine."
Jamie then brought Pastor Cal into the conversation and asked why the experts decided Erik and Virginia would be a good match considering Virginia has abandonment issues stemming from her parents' brutal divorce and Erik needs to travel frequently for his job.
Pastor Cal defended his fellow experts' decision-making and insisted, "It wasn't a stretch to match him with her knowing she has abandonment issues [because] traveling is not abandoning."
"You can stay connected even though you're far away, which I think [Erik] has the heart to do," Pastor Cal added. "We don't have any question about that."
Erik also maintained optimism in his marriage that the traveling issue could be something he and Virginia could overcome together.
"I definitely think we're going to be able to work past this," Erik said. "She's willing to communicate with me, you know, obviously she's not holding that stuff in, and so I really appreciate that."
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"I think it's just going to make our marriage stronger," Erik added, "and sometimes she'll be able to travel with me! So it'll be fun."
Haley pointed out, "That's a plus!"
Later on Unfiltered, the three MAFS cast members watched back another Season 12 clip of Virginia telling Erik she had bad examples of love in her life growing up, referring to her parents' tumultuous relationships.
"Every time I start developing those strong feelings, in the past couple years, I have just kind of ran," Virginia admits in the clip.
"I've always had the fear of rejection or of abandonment... A week ago is normally when I run. I'd usually be gone by now."
Jamie asked Pastor Cal whether Virginia's prior bad love examples could impact her future.
"It could, but it doesn't have to," Pastor Cal responded.
"We are all products of our past, and her past hasn't given her the most stability. But when we matched them, we felt that [Erik's] stability would actually help her to learn to love."
It appears so far in Married at First Sight's twelfth season that Erik has in fact helped Virginia trust her feelings and learn to love.
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The couple said "I love you" to each other about three weeks into the extreme experiment, and Virginia acknowledged she would continue to grow more in love with Erik as they got to know each other better and worked through some of their differences.
It seems Virginia and Erik have opposing political views and social beliefs, and Erik hopes to have children in the near future while Virginia wants to wait until she's around 30 years old.
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The latest episode, however, concluded with Virginia treating Erik to a romantic evening in which she put some rose petals on the bed and surprised her husband with desserts and treats.
Erik felt appreciated and cared for, and Virginia told Erik that she loved how he was "so into" her and hoped their honeymoon phase would never fade.
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About The Author: Elizabeth Kwiatkowski
