Married at First Sight expert Dr. Viviana Coles says Erik Lake has every right to tell his wife Virginia Coombs that not having kids is a dealbreaker for him and their marriage would be over if Virginia refuses to start a family with him.
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Erik, on the other hand, can't wait to be a dad, and his mother pushed the idea of how she desires grandchildren -- and soon -- shortly after meeting Virginia on her wedding day.
On Wednesday night's episode of Married at First Sight: Unfiltered, Viviana and Erik watched back a Season 12 clip of Viviana asking Erik and Virginia during a counseling session whether they plan to share their opposing belief systems with their children and allow them to believe whatever they want.
"Is this a matter where you're like, 'I will not live in a house where children are exposed to this message or that message?" Viviana asks in the clip, referring to Erik and Virginia's different political and social views.
"I don't even know if she wants kids. I mean, that's one thing she's half and half on," Erik says. "If she doesn't want them, I'm done."
On Unfiltered, host Jamie Otis -- who starred on Season 1 of Married at First Sight -- asked Erik if he thought his statement was "a little harsh."
"Yeah, it was absolutely harsh," Erik admitted.
"I didn't say it in the right manner at all, but I feel very strongly about having my own children. I just do, so yeah."
Jamie said she could relate to Erik because things come out wrong in conversations with her husband Doug Hehner when she's really passionate about something.
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"Viviana, what do you think of Erik telling Virginia that he's done with the marriage if she doesn't want kids?" Jamie asked.
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"Well, I mean, that's a dealbreaker that we've always considered with all of our matches," Viviana replied, speaking on behalf of her fellow show experts Pastor Calvin Roberson and Dr. Pepper Schwartz.
"So if all of a sudden she's changing her tune and telling her husband she does not want kids, he has every right to say, 'Oh, then this is definitely not going to fit with my life plan,'" Viviana explained.
Erik's Married at First Sight co-star Jacob Harder also appeared on Unfiltered, and he was asked if he and wife Haley Harris were putting equal effort into their marriage considering a successful relationship requires compromise.
"You know, I've been trying the best way I know how, but what I get from Haley is she doesn't want me to engage her in certain ways," Jacob said.
Haley admitted to her husband that she wasn't attracted to him and struggled to find any type of romantic connection with him.
"So what I kind of do is fall back and look for an opportunity to relate to her, which is all I can really do," Jacob added.
Unlike Jacob and Haley, Erik and Virginia had an instant spark and immediate chemistry.
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"I don't know if that's enough," Erik confessed. "There's a way to meet in the middle with certain things for sure, and then there's others where it's kind of like -- I mean, we..."
"You can't 'kind of' have a kid," Viviana pointed out.
"Exactly!" Erik agreed. "I'm just saying, 'This is what I want in my life in the future.'"
Erik and Virginia, however, had a breakthrough moment in a recent episode when Virginia admitted to Erik her fear of having kids stems from her upbringing and how she had witnessed her parents having a tumultuous relationship and brutal divorce that ended in "hate."
Due to her parents' falling out, Virginia said there was a period of time when she didn't see or speak to her father very much and lived with her aunt, which was a difficult time for her.
Virginia worried about her future children being in a similar position someday if her own marriage failed, but Erik assured Virginia that he would always be a loving and supportive husband and father.
Erik and Virginia have also said "I love you" to each other, and they noted on their one-month anniversary they continue to grow in love despite their ups and downs.
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About The Author: Elizabeth Kwiatkowski
