Married at First Sight expert Pastor Calvin Roberson insists the idea a person is not supposed to try to change their spouse is bull.
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Married at First Sight Season 12 star Haley Harris began pulling back from husband Jacob Harder after they were intimate during their Las Vegas honeymoon, and she confessed once they moved in together that she simply wasn't feeling a connection with him.
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During the March 17 episode of Married at First Sight: Unfiltered, Pastor Cal, Haley and fellow MAFS star Erik Lake watched back a Season 12 clip of Haley buying Jacob some new clothes in attempt to create a spark or build some type of an attraction to him.
Jacob acknowledges in the clip someone buying him clothes for no reason was "a first."
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On Unfiltered, host Jamie Otis -- who starred on Season 1 of Married at First Sight -- asked Haley to give an honest review of Jacob in his new attire after he did a little fashion show for her in their living room.
"How do you think Jake looks in the clothes that you bought him?" Jamie asked.
"I feel like he looks so much better than in those graphic T-[shirts]!" Haley gushed, referring to Jacob's obsession with 80's clothing and style.
"I mean, we're coming a long way here!"
Haley also admitted she was "really surprised" by Jacob's reaction to her gift.
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"[I was surprised] he hadn't really had anyone go out of their way to do something for him that was nice," Haley recalled.
"Like, he was shocked it was a 'just because' thing and hot that there was an event that required a gift."
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Erik chimed in and complimented Haley on her "sweet gesture."
"For me, if my wife wants to dress me up the way that she likes, I'm good with that! I mean, honestly," Erik noted. "As long as I don't look like a clown, I'm fine."
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Pastor Cal agreed that Haley's effort to dress her husband better was "awesome."
"There is a notion that you're not supposed to change [your spouse], which I believe is BS," Pastor Cal shared.
"I think if you're going to be married, you do what's necessary to help each other."
Pastor Cal added, however, "The only thing I wish Jacob had done was come out with a shirt and a tool belt... He could have sexied it up a little bit!"
On that note, Jamie asked Haley if she thought her attraction to Jacob could grow as long as he'd be willing to loosen and lighten up a bit.
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"So that's been one of my big issues," Haley confessed.
"After we had the attraction conversation, every conversation after that, he always brought back to attraction. And I'm like, 'We've got to have some fun. I can't be serious all the time, it's going to drive me absolutely nuts.'"
She added, "So that's definitely something we have had to talk about a lot."
Also on Unfiltered, Haley watched back footage in which she was shown telling her friends she had admitted to Jacob that she wasn't attracted to him.
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"I don't know. I told him that I'm still open," Haley explains in the clip, "and attraction can grow with the right person."
Since Haley's lack of attraction to Jacob has been discussed frequently on the show, Jamie asked Haley to reveal whether Jacob was attracted to her.
"We did talk about it at one point. I mean, he told me that he was physically attracted to me," Haley shared.
"But I was just really trying to get to know him and know his personality, and that honestly wasn't making me more attracted to him at that point."
Erik then revealed how he's go about the Married at First Sight process if he wasn't initially attracted to his wife.
"I mean, going into this, that was in my head as well. I was trying to prepare myself for all those kinds of things," Erik said.
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"Going into Jake's perspective, he just has to be understanding of that and just try to talk with her. I think if they can communicate better with those kind of things, it will help them for sure."
On whether it's possible to grow to love someone without attraction, Pastor Cal pointed out that Jamie is a prime example of that.
"Jamie, you know that more than anybody," Pastor Cal said.
As Married at First Sight fans can recall, Jamie wasn't attracted to her match, Doug Hehner, when they first met at their wedding ceremony on Season 1 of the series.
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Jamie could barely look Doug in the eye when they exchanged vows, and she cried on her knees about whether she had made the right decision in marrying a stranger after the wedding.
However, Jamie and Doug are still married today with two children, daughter Henley and son Hendrix, and their life together appears to be happy and fulfilling.
"Absolutely!" Pastor Cal insisted.
"I like to believe that the physical is just the resume, it just gets you in the door. It's not a big deal if someone you are pursuing says, 'You're not the most attractive guy.' Okay, fine, but I don't know -- I'm intelligent and I'm rich. I'm something! I'm funny!' You know, whatever!"
After everyone burst into laughter, Jamie asked Haley if she had hope she could become attracted to Jacob eventually, like maybe because he's "funny or rich!"
"I mean, we're hoping for rich, but who knows!" Haley said with a laugh.
"I'm still trying to figure it out. Like [Eric] was saying, communication is a really big thing for me and that's something we've really struggled with."
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"So, it's just, only time will tell," Haley concluded.
On Married at First Sight's twelfth season, Haley is doing everything in her power to avoid divorce. She agreed to sleep in the same bed as Jacob and try to bond through activities such as trying new restaurants, but she's still not ready to hug, kiss or cuddle with him.
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