Married at First Sight star Alyssa Ellman apologizes and expresses regret over how she handled herself in her marriage to Chris Collette in a preview of the Season 14 reunion.
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Married at First Sight's fourteenth-season reunion special is set to air Wednesday night at 8PM ET/PT on Lifetime, and it appears Alyssa is going to have a lot to get off her chest.
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"I came into this with the purest intentions," Alyssa, 30, insists in the clip obtained by Us Weekly as she and Chris, 35, sit down with reunion host Kevin Frazier.
Alyssa and Chris decided to get a divorce just over a week into the extreme marriage experiment, and when looking back on the process, Alyssa explains, "I wanted to find my person more than anything."
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"When it didn't work out for me, I panicked, and I didn't handle myself the way I would have liked. And, you know, I'm sorry for that," she says.
"But looking back now, I'm grateful for the things that I've learned," she adds. "I just want everyone to know that I came into that for the right reasons."
Kevin asked Alyssa if she wished she had given Chris a real chance, but she dodged the question.
"When I say that, I mean that I don't think me and Chris are made for each other... I wish there was things that I didn't say because of the mental state that I was in," Alyssa explains.
"Because I didn't feel like it was right, right away. I saw him and yes, he was not my physical type when I saw him. But there was things that happened besides the physical attraction that made me feel that way, that really upset me."
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Kevin questioned what Chris had done to rub her the wrong way, but Alyssa admitted things she had "learned" from other people caused her to spiral.
"As the [wedding] night went on and I learned things about him, like when I was standing with his three groomsmen," she recalls.
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After Alyssa and Chris tied the knot on Married at First Sight, Chris' groomsmen essentially told Alyssa how Chris can be condescending, argumentative and a bit arrogant when expressing his opinions.
They even made a comment about how Chris "loves to monologue," which immediately turned Alyssa off.
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Alyssa also told the cameras that Chris had referred to himself as her "side piece" in an elevator and she found the remark disgusting.
She found him to be immature on Night 1 of marriage, and she refused to sleep in the same hotel room with Chris that night.
"I'm like, 'I don't see how we're compatible. We have no shared hobbies, in my opinion, and we don't share the same core values and beliefs," Alyssa claims. "And that's where I feel like things got misconstrued and messed up."
Although Alyssa slept away from Chris on their wedding night, she still decided to go on their honeymoon to Puerto Rico -- with the intention of keeping her distance from Chris and just hanging out with their fellow cast members.
At the reunion, Alyssa shares how she had meltdowns on the show because her "brain pretty much wasn't working right."
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"I was bawling my eyes out. It was horrible," Alyssa admits, adding how the overall experience of marrying a stranger on television was overwhelming.
Chris didn't believe Alyssa had put any effort into their marriage.
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Chris claimed on an episode of Married at First Sight: Afterparty earlier this year that Alyssa had called a lawyer trying to get out of her marriage before traveling to San Juan and she wouldn't give Chris her phone number so they could stay in touch.
Chris also alleged that Alyssa had refused to sit next to him on the flight to San Juan and didn't try to get to know him on a serious or deep level at any point.
Chris attempted to keep his cool and persuade Alyssa to give him a chance on the show, but the more Chris pushed for attention and/or straight answers, the more Alyssa pulled back.
At one point, Alyssa even expressed "hate" and told a producer that she couldn't tolerate Chris' personality and gestures.
Alyssa repeated how she felt "robbed" and "gypped" in the Married at First Sight experiment.
Once the couple returned home to Boston, MA, Alyssa admitted to her mother that she had expected a tattooed cowboy to be standing at the top of the altar instead of a real estate agent on her wedding day.
However, during a therapy session with Married at First Sight expert, Pastor Calvin Roberson, one week into the process, Alyssa announced how she'd like to continue on with the show, seemingly so she could keep hanging out with her fellow Season 14 brides and enjoy the ride.
But when Alyssa suggested to Chris that she'd like to move forward on Married at First Sight without living together in the Boston apartment the show had provided for them, Chris determined his "Decision Day" had come early and he wanted a divorce instead.
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"I think there are a lot of reasons to still be here, but I don't think marriage is the one that you're here for," Chris told Alyssa during their breakup conversation.
Married at First Sight's fourteenth season also stars Noi Phommasak and Steve Moy, Lindsey Georgoulis and Mark Maher, Katina Goode and Olajuwon Dickerson, and Jasmina Outar and Michael Morency.
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And click here for more updates on former Married at First Sight cast members and info on where they are now!