Married at First Sight star Alyssa Ellman has insisted no one will ever fully understand what she was feeling after marrying her stranger husband Chris Collette, not even other former cast members.
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Chris, 35, and Alyssa, 30, were matched for matrimony on Season 14 of Married at First Sight by the show's experts Dr. Viviana Coles, Dr. Pepper Schwartz, and Pastor Calvin Roberson.
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During last Wednesday's episode of Married at First Sight: Afterparty, Alyssa watched back a Season 14 clip of a tense conversation she had with Chris the day after their wedding.
"I do feel like we're two very different people," Alyssa tells Chris in the clip.
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"I think there's a lot of things that we don't have in common. I think our hobbies are extremely different. I think the way we would live our everyday life is very different."
Alyssa based her assumptions on initial interactions with Chris as well as warnings she had received from Chris' groomsmen on her wedding night about how Chris can be opinionated, a tad condescending, and preachy in his quest to bring out the best in other people.
"Have you at this point decided that this isn't going work?" Chris asks his wife in the footage.
"I just want us to try to have a good experience, no matter what happens," Alyssa says.
Alyssa got a little emotional on Afterparty, and so host Keshia Knight Pulliam asked the dog rescuer to share what was going on inside her mind and heart.
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"This isn't a place of judgment. This is a place of -- help me understand," Keshia said. "So what were you thinking at this moment?"
Alyssa replied, "I think unless you've literally been sitting in my shoes, no one will ever fully understand how I have felt."
"I don't think people who have even been on the show [can relate]."
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Keshia therefore pushed for more specifics or particulars on how Alyssa was feeling about Chris the day after their wedding.
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"You keep talking in generalizations," Keshia noted. "But that's not helping us understand."
Alyssa explained, "I think one of the biggest issues I had in that moment was when his friends told me that he can be condescending and talk down and I guess not be respectful of other people's thoughts and feelings."
Alyssa admitted she had been in a previous relationship where the man had similar qualities and "that happened a lot."
"And so when [Chris]'s friends came out and said that to me, I was like, 'Holy sh-t. That's really scary. That's not something I want to be a part of,'" she said.
Alyssa called her past relationship "a toxic situation that she didn't leave."
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And so Alyssa apparently didn't want to go through such turmoil again.
"I should have left, and so when I'm hearing history repeating itself, yeah, that's very scary to me," Alyssa shared.
Keshia asked Alyssa if she had shared any of this information with Chris, and she responded, "I didn't say that I was in a relationship where that was an issue, but I did say to him, 'That really bothers me that your friends said that to me.'"
Keshia pointed out there was a disconnect there in which Chris was left baffled by what he had done wrong.
"He didn't understand how that connected to a prior experience [for you]," Keshia noted.
Keshia went on to criticize Alyssa's desire to discuss things in private, suggesting Alyssa shouldn't have signed up for the TV show.
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Alyssa said she wanted to be "respectful" and say certain things to Chris off-camera as to not hurt his feelings or come across like a mean person, and the more she felt like she had to defend herself as the talk show went on, the more she lost her cool.
Alyssa started to cry and eventually stormed off the Afterparty set.
Once Alyssa quit the interview, Keshia continued talking to Alyssa's Married at First Sight co-stars Olajuwon Dickerson and Mark Maher without her.
After Alyssa and Chris tied the knot on Married at First Sight's fourteenth season, Alyssa acted a bit cold towards her husband but never flat out said she didn't like him or wasn't attracted to him.
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After Chris' groomsmen scared her off, Alyssa also told the cameras that Chris had referred to himself as "Alyssa's side piece" in an elevator and she found the remark disgusting.
"He may be a little immature," Alyssa complained in a confessional. "He wouldn't normally be my type. I don't want to get upset. I don't want this on-camera."
Once the cameras were off her face, viewers could hear Alyssa venting to a producer about Chris behind closed doors.
Alyssa alleged she and Chris are "so different," adding, "Physically, I do not see one characteristic in him that I asked for."
Alyssa spent the night away from Chris but decided to still go on their honeymoon to Puerto Rico -- with the intention of hanging out with her cast members and just having fun.
Alyssa flat out confessed to Chris that she felt "gypped" by being matched with him.
Once Chris voiced his frustration with Alyssa's lack of effort and also questioned her motive for going on Married at First Sight to begin with, Alyssa yelled, "We are not compatible! I don't want to argue anymore!"
"Why don't we just stop and say, 'This isn't going to work?' And be respectful," she said.
Chris noted how they looked compatible on paper but he believed he had been matched with someone who had "zero interest in trying."
Alyssa asked Chris to show her some respect, claiming she'd do the same for him in return, and then Chris agreed to give Alyssa the space she wanted.
Chris, however, felt Alyssa had been "gaslighting" him.
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