Married at First Sight stars Derek Sherman and Katie Conrad butted heads over Derek's unrealistic dreams and boy-like sense of wonder on Season 10, but Katie's total lack of dreams was apparently a cause for concern for Derek.
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Katie admitted on a March episode of Married at First Sight: Unfiltered that she became less attracted to Derek the more she got to know him, but Derek said he didn't appreciate Katie's unwillingness to support his goals and aspirations.
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Derek told Katie during Married at First Sight's tenth season that his dreams include composing a Christmas song, building giant connecting tree houses, and backpacking through eight countries and across different continents.
During a recent appearance on Married at First Sight alums Jamie Otis and Doug Hehner's Hot Marriage Cool Parents podcast, Derek recalled that talking to Katie about their dreams -- or lack thereof, in her case -- was "definitely a tricky time."
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"I kind of had some indicators early on. You don't just go ahead and ask someone, 'Hey, can you support all of my dreams?' That doesn't happen over night. That takes time obviously. You need to care for the person. I get that," Derek acknowledged.
"But there was one conversation I actually don't think was ever on camera... [that] we had at dinner -- the first one about dreams. [Katie] was like, 'What are some of the things that you want to do in life that I can help you achieve?'"
Derek said it was an important conversation to have "because, you know, the way I see it, when you're in a marriage, you want to help the other person achieve what they want to do."
"That's how you become happy together in a sense," Derek added. "So I asked her that and she told me, like, 'Well, I'd like to buy a house and have a family and find love.'"
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Derek, however, was left wanting more from his conversation with Katie that night.
"I'm like, 'Awesome, 100 percent right there with you, but what are some other things that make you unique?' And at the time, she just had nothing," Derek admitted.
"And I was like, 'Oh, okay.' I tried to ease things up for her so she didn't feel as nervous. I mentioned a couple of odd things about [dreams of] mine, but I realized, 'Okay, this is on my radar, but at the end of the day, it's not a red flag and we'll talk about this later on.'"
Derek then explained what happened the next time he broached the topic of dreams with Katie.
"It was during the one-month [mark of the experiment]. So I asked her, I was like, 'As opposed to having a house or a family and love, what's one of the craziest things you want to do in life?'" Derek shared.
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Doug pointed out Derek's approach to the conversation was innocent and playful yet semi-serious.
Derek agreed and said he was just trying to open up a dialogue with his then-wife.
"Yeah, at this point in time, I just really wanted us to open up to each other and kind of talk about some of the embarrassing things about us that would bring us closer and kind of [allow us to] connect on a deeper level," Derek noted.
"So I tried to pave the way to make her feel [at ease] by listing a couple of mine -- and even some of the more ridiculous ones that, well, I still plan on doing, but other people might find a little silly."
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Katie fought with Derek over those disclosures because she felt his dreams were childish and she said she desired a man who would prioritize and make time for his wife and children above all else.
"So I guess that didn't really work," Derek conceded. "I guess I only increased the tension."
"And then as you saw with the whole big-dream fight that happened literally just days later after 'Recommitment Day,' [Katie sat] me down and talked about how marriage is about compromise and changing for the other," Derek explained.
"And then she says, 'Let's work on your dreams.' And I'm all fine with compromise, but I don't want to compromise my identity for a marriage. I figure you have to have both of your identities. [But] I'm trying to hear her out and I understand where she was coming from."
Derek said he understood Katie's "biggest fear" was the idea he might prioritize his dreams -- like traveling the world, for instance -- over spending time with his family and raising his children at home.
"That just wasn't the case," Derek assured Jamie and Doug. "Because I tried to explain as many times as possible that's No. 1. But the other thing she was feeling, I feel, was that... I would spite her if I wasn't able to achieve what I wanted to achieve and blame her for not following my dreams."
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Although Derek and Katie opted to stay married on "Decision Day" at the end of Married at First Sight's eight-week experiment, the couple revealed they had split during the reunion special, which aired in late April on Lifetime.
Katie complained Derek was "fake" and her marriage lacked physical intimacy because Derek allegedly never initiated in the bedroom, but Derek vented about how Katie had allegedly cheated on him twice with her ex-boyfriend -- once after their honeymoon and then again about two weeks after "Decision Day."
Katie admitted to having a physical "slip-up" with her ex after "Decision Day," but she completely denied ever having an affair once she and Derek returned to Washington, D.C. from their honeymoon in Panama.
Not only did Katie cheat on Derek at least once, but she also went out for drinks with Mindy Shiben's husband on Season 10, Zach Justice, shortly before Married at First Sight premiered in early January.
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Katie has therefore received backlash ever since the reunion special aired on Lifetime.
During his interview on the podcast, Derek also explained why he decided to reveal Katie cheated on him with her ex despite initially agreeing not to discuss it on Season 10's reunion special.
In addition, Derek also revealed he feels Katie likely had no intention of remaining married to him despite proclaiming her desire to do so on "Decision Day."
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