Married at First Sight star Haley Harris insists her husband Jacob Harder ignores her unless she initiates conversations with him.
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During Wednesday night's episode of Married at First Sight: Unfiltered, Haley, MAFS star Clara Berghaus and show expert Pastor Calvin Roberson watched back a Season 12 clip of Haley telling Pepper in a sit-down conversation that she still couldn't find any "common ground or a connection" with Jacob less than three weeks before "Decision Day."
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"One of the things that has puzzled me about this particular relationship is that I don't think you two actually know each other on a deeper level," Pepper tells Haley in the clip.
Unfiltered host Jamie Otis -- who starred on Season 1 of Married at First Sight -- asked Haley what was making it so difficult for the couple to open up to each other.
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"It comes back to, like, even having a normal conversation. If I don't initiate something, it will not be initiated," Haley insisted.
"If I come into the room and I'm not in a great mood and I'm not, like, 'Hey, what's up? How are you?! What's going on?' he will ignore me. He waits for me to initiate everything, but I don't feel that effort on my end."
Jamie therefore asked Haley if she thought Jacob was putting in as much effort as he could be.
"I feel like he thinks that he is because he's showing up, but I don't think he's taken the time to get to know what I need or what my feelings are in that," Haley explained.
"He just keeps pushing what he needs and what his feelings are in that."
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Clara, however, gushed about how her husband Ryan Oubre shows up for her in their marriage.
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"I think something that Ryan does really, really well is that he asks uncomfortable questions," Clara revealed.
"And he also doesn't want to keep things surface-level, and I think that that is really, really, really important in learning who each other are and who you are within a marriage."
Jamie then joked of Clara's relationship, "So basically it's the complete opposite of Jake and Haley!"
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"We are having different experiences!" Haley said with a laugh. "I'll just say that!"
Pastor Cal acknowledged the girls were on "two different spectrums" with their husbands.
"The secret to making a relationship work is not letting people know what you need but finding out what they need," Pastor Cal explained.
"And I say that it's one thing to care for someone, but it's something else to care for them in the way that they need to be cared for."
Pastor Cal added, "If I bring you flowers but you hate flowers, it makes no difference. 'No, do the laundry!' You know?"
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Haley admitted she still wasn't feeling great about her relationship with Jacob after her one-on-one chat with Pepper.
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"I still feel like there are a lot of frustrations," Haley confessed.
"There's a lot of emotion -- the whole connection thing and the whole getting-to-know each other thing, I'm like, 'Dang! We're pretty deep in this process. I feel like we should be a little further along at this point.'"
Despite feeling like she must initiate and engage in conversation with Jacob to get anything back from him, Haley also said on Unfiltered she feels like Jacob was trying to blame her for their relationship problems.
"There needs to be a serious meeting of the minds if there's going to be any success, and that's not just on Haley -- it's also on Jake," Pastor Cal noted.
Haley said she wished she and Jacob had opened their lines of communication much earlier in the Married at First Sight process.
Haley began pulling back from Jacob after they were intimate during their Las Vegas honeymoon, and she confessed once they moved into an Atlanta apartment together that she simply wasn't attracted to his looks or personality.
As the weeks progressed, Haley and Jacob did activities together in attempt to create some chemistry, but Haley cried on their one-month anniversary about how she was still feeling no connection with her husband -- at all -- which left Jacob feeling rejected and defeated.
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Neither Haley or Jacob was willing to give up on the marriage, but the latest Season 12 episode featured the couple's relationship self-destructing.
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Haley apparently hadn't worn the silver infinity bracelet Jacob had gifted her on their wedding day even one time, and the "disrespectful" gesture was a point of frustration for Jacob, who revealed he had spent $800 on the piece of jewelry.
During a subsequent sit-down chat with Married at First Sight expert Dr. Pepper Schwartz, Jacob admitted he felt "disrespected" by Haley's treatment of the bracelet, and Pepper told the cameras Haley needed to accept responsibility for her role in the problem or else her marriage probably wouldn't work out.
But Haley complained about Jacob bringing up the bracelet for "the 95th time," and her mother believed it was "tacky" Jacob was always bringing up his gift and mentioning its cost.
Haley's mother suggested the gift should just be returned to Jacob.
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