Married at First Sight star Olajuwon Dickerson has revealed what it was like to bring Katina Goode to his childhood neighborhood and what he wrote in his unaired letter to his younger self.
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Olajuwon and his wife Katina, both 29, were matched by Married at First Sight experts Dr. Pepper Schwartz, Dr. Viviana Coles and Pastor Calvin Roberson to wed on Season 14 of the Lifetime reality series.
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During the April 20 episode of Married at First Sight: Afterparty, Olajuwon watched back a Season 14 clip in which he was shown taking Katina to his childhood home in Brighton, MA, where four kids slept in one room and the five children were raised by a single mother.
"Out here growing up, you can't be soft," Olajuwon explains to Katina. "They would smack you or whatever, call you a b-tch or whatever they want."
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"So I think that's the reason why if I feel like I'm being triggered or being played with, I let it be known right from the beginning. Because it's how I was raised, not because I'm trying to be a tough guy. But this explains half of my battle. This explains to you why I am the way I am."
Katina replies in the clip, "I see it."
Afterparty host Keshia Knight Pulliam asked Olajuwon what it felt like to bring his wife back to the place where he had grown up.
"That was the first time I ever brought a woman to where I used to live," Olajuwon revealed. "So Katina was my first! She took my virginity for that."
Olajuwon recalled bringing Katina to his old basketball courts where he used to play sports with his friends.
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"We go down there and there was a broken scooter on the floor. I said to Katina -- I picked it up and I said, 'You haven't been to the projects if you don't have a broken scooter,' and I threw it," Olajuwon shared.
"And when I moved it, there was a big spray-painted [message] on the floor beneath the scooter that said, 'Wasted Lives.' And that's from the people in there."
The Married at First Sight experts had asked each spouse to write a letter to his or her younger self, giving advice and encouragement, in attempt to shine a light on the past for the newly-married couples.
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Married at First Sight viewers were able to watch many of the Season 14 cast members read their letter aloud, but Olajuwon's trip down memory lane did not air.
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"Yeah, I did [a letter]. I remember when I was writing my letter, I wanted Katina to know who I am and where I come from. I'm the only person out of all my friends who's doing what I'm doing," Olajuwon explained.
"Everything," he said, getting a little choked up. "I just think of so much. I think of my family and my friends. And where I'm at now, it's such a blessing."
Keshia said it seemed like Olajuwon needed to be tough because he had grown up in a tough environment and that was the only way for him to survive.
"So as a result, you're learning something new in this process," Keshia suggested.
"Right," Olajuwon agreed.
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Speaking to his younger self -- who had grown up in "the hood," according to Keshia, or "the projects," according to Olajuwon -- Olajuwon said, "Even [my co-star Michael Morency]'s story, coming from the same type of culture, I lost my father and [Michael] didn't have his father."
Olajuwon continued in tears, "He lost his mother and that's all I've got, is my mother. So to sit up here, not even just by myself, just to sit here and look at another man who comes from the same background as I do, it's a blessing."
Olajuwon, full-blown crying at this point, reminded Michael, "We are blessed."
"It's such a beautiful thing," Olajuwon added.
"But when I was doing my letter, I was trying to get it out to Katina that I know I come off tough but I just wanted her to know that I come from this tough, tough environment but I'm trying."
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Although Olajuwon had been accused of belittling and speaking down to Katina while filming the show, he insisted on Afterparty, "I'm trying in this marriage."
And Olajuwon clearly wanted Katina to see and understand that.
Keshia told Olajuwon that in this Married at First Sight journey, it's not about where one starts but rather where one ends up.
Michael and Lindsey Georgoulis, who joined Olajuwon on the Afterparty broadcast, went in for a group hug that even Keshia -- who was sobbing -- participated in.
Olajuwon told Katina on last week's episode of Married at First Sight how he was so proud of himself for graduating from college, paying off his student loans, and having bought and sold a home.
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Katina, on the other hand, grew up in the suburbs in a nice five-bedroom house with two bathrooms.
Olajuwon explained how he's not just an energetic guy who can be good or bad, and he thanked Katina for really getting to know him and maintaining an open mind about his approach to communication and expressing himself.
Olajuwon even had the awareness to apologize to Katina immediately after he told her to "shut up for a second" during an argument.
"All men need attention, but I think he requires a little bit of a higher level of attention," Katina said. "And he already is, no offense, a lot to deal with. It could be draining in a sense, for me personally."
During a counseling session with Dr. Pepper, Olajuwon admitted that he was worried about Katina's desire to have children all the while obtaining her Bachelor's Degree and attending nursing school after that.
"I'm worried about our future timeline. Can we have kids within two years? Am I going to sacrifice traveling? Am I going to sacrifice [seeing] if Katina can keep me satisfied [before then] while adding more to her plate? I don't have an answer," Olajuwon told the cameras.
Olajuwon thought Katina needed to focus on herself for the next two years, and so he started to think maybe their marriage was a little premature.
Olajuwon, claiming he didn't want to take away from Katina's experiences and independence, lamented in a confessional how he would probably say "no" on Decision Day if he was in Katina's shoes.
Olajuwon said he didn't want to lose Katina but if she needed two years to be single and focus on herself, he'd be waiting patiently in the wings for her.
"If you care about somebody, you always look out for what's best for them," Olajuwon said in tears.
Married at First Sight, which currently airs on Wednesday nights at 8PM ET/PT on Lifetime, also stars Michael's wife Jasmina Outar, Lindsey's husband Mark Maher, and Steve Moy and Noi Phommasak.
The season also starred Alyssa Ellman and Chris Collette, but the pair chose to divorce only one week into the extreme experiment.
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