Married at First Sight star Olajuwon Dickerson has attempted to explain his old-fashioned or outdated view of marriage with wife Katina Goode.
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Katina and Olajuwon, both 29, were matched by Married at First Sight experts Dr. Pepper Schwartz, Dr. Viviana Coles and Pastor Calvin Roberson to wed on Season 14 of the Lifetime reality series.
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Katina and Olajuwon were immediately attracted to each other and enjoyed a wonderful and romantic honeymoon in Puerto Rico, but once the couple moved into a Boston apartment together, Katina immediately felt pressure to cook several meals a day for her husband and live up to his high "standards" of how an ideal wife should behave and contribute.
During the March 9 episode of Married at First Sight: Afterparty, Olajuwon watched back a Season 14 clip in which he complained to Viviana in a counseling session about Katina's supposed lack of effort in their marriage and how she wasn't fulfilling what he believed her wifely duties should be.
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"The cooking and the food, that's what I need in my wife, like, I need that," Olajuwon complains to Viviana in the clip with Katina by his side.
"So did you not eat before you were married?" Viviana asks.
"To me, I could grab anything on the go or I could make something easy and small," Olajuwon replies. "But I have a wife now, and she works at home."
Olajuwon adds, "When it comes to our marriage and caring for the other person, the effort isn't there."
"Wow," Viviana replies, as Katina is shown breaking down into tears. "What is the struggle there, [Katina]?"
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"It's just his tone, like someone is beating up on me," Katina cries.
Afterparty host Keshia Knight Pulliam assured Olajuwon that they were in a safe space and she was coming from a place of love; however, she called him out for his "antiquated" view of marriage.
"A woman's worth is not determined by her domestic duties -- by her ability to cook and clean, okay? Help me out with this," Keshia firmly noted.
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Keshia hoped Olajuwon just didn't articulate himself well in the moment.
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"No," Olajuwon confirmed. "You don't see it on-camera that I work at night, so when you come home during the morning and there's nothing and the house is messed up as it was and there's no food or nothing, it's frustrating. It is frustrating."
Olajuwon vented of Katina, "You work at home, but I don't see no work being done."
"When you say things and then I don't see it being done," he continued, "I question, 'Is this even real? Do you have a job? I don't know. I don't see it.'"
Olajuwon pointed out how Katina "does have a job" and he's just "very open" with his wife.
"And that's why we're so strong," Olajuwon insisted. "So yeah, I could have absolutely handled that a lot better, so touche to my wife. Seriously, she is strong."
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Olajuwon also accused Katina of being sheltered and lacking necessary life skills to be a good partner earlier in the season.
Olajuwon wondered if Katina could satisfy him, and he questioned in a confessional, "Is she enough woman for me -- as a wife?"
Olajuwon therefore took Katina to a cooking class and told her, "I need to see where you are as a woman... If you're not going to cook, what are you going to do? Are you going to clean?"
On an episode of Afterparty that aired earlier this month, Married at First Sight star Lindsey Georgoulis said a man should never speak to a woman that way, and her co-star Noi Phommasak pointed out how Katina was made to feel like she needed to validate her worth to her husband, which was wrong.
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And in Katina's mind, she was trying very hard to please Olajuwon and meet his demands -- and she even promised him to do more.
"I know that cooking is the way to his heart, which he has told me three or four times," Katina told the cameras. "I'm going to make sure that I do that for him, so that it will be a 'yes' on both ends on 'Decision Day.'"
But when Olajuwon essentially called Katina lazy and made his wife cry during their chat with Viviana on the latest episode, he apologized and promised to change his tone and harsh delivery of his opinions and feelings.
"I feel like someone taught you something that's going to make you end up divorced several times," Viviana admitted. "Because that expectation of marriage, of what real-life marriage looks like, I just think it's going to topple over."
Viviana added, "I don't really know how I'm going to help you if you have this archaic idea -- and very flimsy idea -- of what makes a good wife... You're not going to make it -- with anybody!"
Olajuwon then got emotional and explained how he just wanted more from his wife on an emotional level. He hoped she would express herself more, open up and be vulnerable since he claimed to care for her immensely.
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Katina later surprised her husband with a thoughtful movie night at home that really impressed Olajuwon and made him feel like Katina had been listening to him and truly cared about his needs and desires.
"I told you I got you," Katina said.
"But now I'm seeing it... and you have not let me down," Olajuwon said. "This is what I needed, seriously."
The pair also appeared to advance their physical connection with intimate massages on Day 27 of marriage, and Katina told her husband that she'd like him to take the lead in the bedroom.
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