Mischa Barton has gotten off to a tough start on Dancing with the Stars.
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"Last week was a catastrophe," Barton wrote in her People blog. "The day started off with a disastrous dress rehearsal and that can really psych you out."
"The saddest part was that Artem and I had actually been having a lot of fun in rehearsal. I'd been working hard and we'd made great progress. As I was standing there right before our dance, I was smiling. I was hopeful it would go well," she continued.
"But then the video package started to play and it focused on all the negative moments from our week. They don't let us see those videos beforehand and I was just sitting there watching it for the first time and it was demoralizing."
Chigvintsev apparently saw how the video affected Barton and became worried.
"[Artem] immediately ran over to try and protect he. He just kept telling me, 'Don't look. Don't look. Don't look. Just concentrate on me and smile and have a good time.' But it threw me off completely. Suddenly, the video package was over and the music was starting and I was just sitting there thinking, 'Oh, my God!'" Barton admitted.
"And that's where it really sinks in that you're on a live show. None of it is faked. There's no time to compose yourself. You're on a train and it's not stopping because it's live."
Barton tried to go through the motions of her dance but she couldn't get out of her head, as the video package had done some real damage. Her scores from the first week of the competition also affected her more than she had realized.
"To top it off, we'd been rehearsing to a track but with the live band in the ballroom, I couldn't hear the beat. After the show, I was actually talking to [former DWTS contestant] Joey Fatone and he was telling me that I have to pair the steps to the lyrics because that's a common thing that happens on the night of the show," Barton explained.
After learning that lesson, Barton felt she was able to move on and try to have fun this week for the "Most Memorable Year" theme.
"I'm learning and growing. I am a perfectionist, so it has been hard for me to struggle at times during this process. But Artem has been working with me on letting things go and just focusing on having fun," Barton wrote in her blog. "And it's working. Things that used to take me two days to learn are now taking me just two hours."
During Monday night's episode of Dancing with the Stars, Barton and Chigvintsev will be dancing a foxtrot routine to Miley Cyrus' "Party in the U.S.A."
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"I chose that song because I wanted to dance to something that was pure fun. It also is a song that was released during the year I'm featuring: the year The O.C. ended and I moved to Europe. It's been really interesting to reflect on that time in my life. That was a transformative time, just like this experience has been," she said.
Overall, Barton said there's been "a huge learning curve" for her on the show.
"I think reality TV is a little tougher for me than I thought it would be. I know I'm not like every other contestant that has been on this show. But I've presented a very honest honest version of myself and I have developed a deep mind-body connection and an inner strength that I hadn't found before," she revealed.
"If we get voted out this week, or in the coming weeks, I know I'll carry that -- and a newfound love of dance -- for the rest of my life."
About The Author: Elizabeth Kwiatkowski
