Megan Joy cared about remaining on American Idol. However, she was also certain that she had no chance of surviving Wednesday's results show before she had even arrived at the studio.
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"I really woke up [on Wednesday] feeling like I was going home no matter what [last night]. I felt like I was going home no matter what I did and said," the 23-year-old divorced mother who currently resides in Sandy, UT, told reporters during a media conference call on Thursday.
Because of her self certainty that she would be the one booted from the competition, Joy added that she had simply made a point to be honest on the show, resulting in her now famous "I don't care" comment to judge Simon Cowell. During the call, Joy attempted to clarify what she had meant with her comments, but said that she had not regretted making them.
"No regrets ever. I wouldn't take anything back. I was happy to go the way I did," Joy told reporters. "I just was honest. I cared about the competition. I didn't want people to misunderstand me not caring, I just didn't care that Simon didn't like my song. I couldn't help but be honest"
Joy -- who began Idol's eighth season using her married name of Megan Corkrey and then switched to Megan Joy Corkrey before settling on Megan Joy, her middle name, in recent weeks -- added later that she did not think any bad blood existed between she and Cowell, but did acknowledge that she felt his opinions of her talents may have changed from the time he helped push her into the finals as a wild-card selection to his telling her she would not get a chance to sing for "The Judges' Save" on Wednesday's elimination show.
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"I think his opinion of me changed a little bit," Joy said. "I mean, he was pretty hard on me. I think that he likes me, maybe just as much as he did, but maybe just not for this competition. But I got no beef with Simon and I don't think he really has any for me."
Joy also said that without the pressure of singing for the judges' approval for "The Judges' Save" she had been able to relax and have fun with her encore performance of Bob Marley's "Turn Your Lights Down Low," which she had originally performed -- to poor judges' feedback -- on Tuesday's performance show.
"It was for sure easier, because I didn't care if I messed up, which I did," Joy said with a laugh. "I was just [excited] to flop around and be right in [the judges] faces and sing it right at 'em."
Joy also discussed her 21-year-old brother who, following her performance on Tuesday had heckled judge Kara DioGuardi from the crowd and called her a "broken record" for criticizing his sister's song choice.
While she was appreciative that DioGuardi seemed to take the barbs in stride once she learned who he was, Joy supported her brother, saying that he -- much like herself -- couldn't help but beat to his own drum.
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"I'm always proud of my brother, he's my boy, and like me he can't help but be himself," Joy told reporters. "I wasn't surprised at all that he did it. He cracks me up. And I was glad that Kara ended up taking it lightheartedly."
But did Joy agree with her brother's criticism?
"Well, you do hear that comment a lot [from judges]," Joy told reporters. "It kinda gets like 'Alright, well we already know that.'"
Following her elimination, Joy said that she was sad to be going home but was easily able to take solace in seeing her two-year-old son for the first time in weeks.
"I'm gonna hold him as long as he'll let me, and try not to sob like a lunatic because I'm sure he'll just be confused and scared. It's gonna be beautiful," Joy told reporters of her upcoming reunion with her son, which she said was currently scheduled to take place when she finally returned home on Wednesday. "I can't wait."
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She added that following her reunion with her son that she would have a second reunion to look forward to when she reconvened with the Top 10 for Idol's summer tour.
"I'm looking forward to being back with the gang. I'm gonna miss 'em," she said.
About The Author: John Bracchitta