Survivor's Maria Shrime Gonzalez has defended her controversial vote for Kenzie Petty to win Survivor's 46th season over her closest ally in the game, runner-up Charlie Davis.
ADVERTISEMENT
During Survivor 46's Final Tribal Council on Night 26 of the game, five jury members -- including Maria, who was the fifth-place finisher -- voted for Kenzie to win the $1 million prize, and only three jury members voted for Charlie to be crowned the "Sole Survivor."
RELATED LINK: 'SURVIVOR' COUPLES NOW: WHO'S STILL TOGETHER?! WHICH SHOWMANCES SPLIT UP? (PHOTOS)
Charlie admitted to Survivor host Jeff Probst he was "shocked" to discover his No. 1 ally, Maria, hadn't voted in his favor, and Jeff pointed out how Charlie appeared to be in "despair" over the results.
Maria admitted to Entertainment Weekly in an interview that post-show conversations with Charlie "haven't been easy," especially since it clearly broke his heart to lose the game he loves.
ADVERTISEMENT
"We, I think, have a mutual respect for each other. We've had lots of moments. We've seen each other, we've visited each other. The children have met Uncle Charlie. I don't doubt that we won't be able to get past this," Maria shared.
Had Maria cast her vote for Charlie to win, the results would've been a 4-4 jury vote -- and Charlie's other best friend in the game, third-place finisher Ben Katzman, would've had to break the tie.
Given Ben had taken Charlie to the Final 3 without forcing him to make fire, it's likely Ben would have given Charlie the winning vote.
"It's hard to watch. It's hurtful," Maria acknowledged of the Season 46 finale.
"I have been so upset just thinking about how hard this decision was for me, but I stand 10 toes down on the choice that I chose somebody who was about to start her family, who wanted to have a baby."
ADVERTISEMENT
Maria added, "And it spoke to me as a woman on a personal level that this is what I faced so many times in my life and I chose me, and she chose her. And that's why I chose her."
Charlie, meanwhile, told EW that Maria has been "flip flopping" in her explanation of why she voted to give Kenzie the money. Charlie claimed that Maria has justified her decision one minute, only to turn around and admit regret the next.
"I've constantly been thinking what could have been, what could have been, what could have been," Maria confessed, "but I can't live my life with regret. I can't live my life thinking I should have done this."
RELATED LINK: 'BIG BROTHER' SHOWMANCES NOW: WHO IS STILL TOGETHER? WHICH COUPLES HAVE SPLIT UP?? (PHOTOS)
Maria therefore said she feels "very proud" to have been one of the five castaways to vote for Kenzie's victory.
ADVERTISEMENT
"I was one of five people to give her a chance to start her family. And so when you're there in the moment -- and believe me, it is not a place that I want anybody to have to sit -- to sit there and have to make that choice, I think it just is such a beautiful gesture from a woman to a woman to give her this chance to start her life," Maria explained.
And coincidentally, Kenzie announced she's pregnant just before the Survivor finale aired on Wednesday, May 22 on CBS.
While Charlie confessed that Maria's vote "shocked" him and he's done with this "guessing game" of trying to figure out how Maria really feels, Maria insisted that if she had the chance to do Night 26 all over again, she would "still vote Kenzie" as the winner.
"I have had an immense amount of hate come at me this season, which is just crazy -- not something I could have anticipated," Maria revealed.
"I think I did anticipate people would be upset about me choosing Kenzie, but I think you have to feel pride in what your decisions are. And I'm not going to take it back. I'm not going to go back on it."
ADVERTISEMENT
Maria explained how she was often "torn" between her head and her heart during the Survivor game.
RELATED LINK: 'THE AMAZING RACE' COUPLES NOW: WHO IS STILL TOGETHER? WHO HAS SPLIT? WHERE ARE THEY NOW? (PHOTOS)
However, Maria said that watching Kenzie face off against Liz Wilcox in the firestarting challenge -- and winning it -- tipped the scales for her.
"When it came to that final Tribal Council, actually starting back at the fire, when I watched Kenzie make fire, there was a look in her eyes -- a fierceness in her eyes of a powerful woman who overcame something," Maria gushed.
"And that spoke to me so deeply in my core... It triggered me on an emotional level. It triggered me on a personal level. It went beyond the game."
Maria also appreciated how Kenzie admitted during the questioning how the $1 million would be for herself and her family after the hairstylist had spent so many years taking care of other people.
Kenzie said she wanted to invest the money and save it so she could have a child.
"[Kenzie said], 'I'm doing this for me.' And if you know anything about my story, my story of coming on the show was choosing me," Maria noted.
"My story was saying, 'I've put everybody ahead of me, as in motherhood, being a mom, and coming on the show is finally doing something for me.' And so when those words came out of her mouth, I was stunned. And so I was going up the steps at Tribal... Charlie, Kenzie, Charlie Kenzie, head, heart, head, heart."
RELATED LINK: 'SURVIVOR' COUPLES NOW: WHO'S STILL TOGETHER?! WHICH SHOWMANCES SPLIT UP? (PHOTOS)
Maria said she ultimately sided with what her heart was telling her to do.
ADVERTISEMENT
"I feel really proud. I was one of five votes, so it wasn't just me. And it killed me to not vote for Charlie. I adore Charlie. I have the utmost respect for Charlie, but I chose my heart," Maria concluded.