The Bachelor alum Ben Higgins has explained what he believes his current role in the franchise is and also revealed the surprising way it came about.
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Ben first competed on Kaitlyn Bristowe's season of The Bachelorette in 2015, and then he was selected by ABC to star on The Bachelor's 20th season in 2016.
"The Bachelor has been a huge gift to me in so many ways... I had the show to lean on for a big period of my life. It was kind of like, 'This is one of the coolest and most important things to ever happen to me,'" Ben shared.
"And because of how much weight I was putting into the chase for relevancy... the more jealous I would become, envious and resentful of other cast members and people who come out of the show, or other leads."
Ben admitted he actually found himself "wishing ill will on some of the leads" who were starring on The Bachelor after Ben's season in more recent years.
"And that's not the man I want to be. That's not the person I want to be. In 30 years when this show and this period of my life is so meaningless, I don't want to look back on it and think, 'Oh, I spent that time wanting other people to fail.' What a terrible mindset!" Ben said.
"What a terrible spot to be in! But I found myself getting in that place, and so I had to combat that... and start finding ways to almost force myself to celebrate the success of other people coming on the show. And that's why for a period of time, I didn't get to talk to [Clayton Echard]. He was the first one."
Ben revealed of his role in Bachelor Nation, "It's one of the only things that I hold dear now, is the ability to talk to Bachelors coming behind me and try to give them some encouragement -- even to make them feel less alone or make them feel like, 'Hey, if Ben did it, I can do it.'"
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Ben said he wants to see The Bachelor stars do well, adding, "I don't want to see them hurt through this process. It's maybe my only role in the franchise now."
"It's a role that I created and I hold dear. I don't know if it will exist anymore," Ben explained.
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"I didn't get the Clayton call. But I do feel like, for me, it came from a place where I was very envious, and now I want to switch that to start celebrating these people and start getting to know them a little bit better."
Although Ben apparently didn't have the chance to help Clayton through his journey on The Bachelor's 26th season earlier this year, he hopes he'll be able to help leads in the future.
"Maybe when they come through the process and they start to get confused and it feels chaotic, maybe they can turn back to me and say, 'Hey, thanks for being there. Thanks for making me feel like I wasn't alone in this.' That would be really great," Ben noted.
Ben said he has similar people in his life whom he can depend on and seek comfort from during difficult times, and he said celebrating others' success can open a person up to "loving people better."
Ben, a former software salesman and business analyst, now runs Generous Coffee Company and co-hosts a Bachelor Nation podcast with Ashley Iaconetti, The Ben & Ashley I: Almost Famous Podcast.
While his relationship with The Bachelor 20 winner, Lauren Bushnell, didn't work out, he's happily married to a woman who's not associated with the franchise, Jessica Clarke.
Ben and Jessica, who got engaged in early 2020 and tied the knot in November 2021 after a postponed wedding due to COVID-19, have a dog together named Waylon and could see themselves trying for a baby in a couple of years.
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"[I have] a purpose, because before, we were all just people who go frolic on a beach or go frolic in a mansion for a bit, and people like to watch and criticize. And that's fair and fun, but ultimately when it comes down to it, we're just there for entertainment, and that feels odd."
Ben said when it feels like you're doing something just for "the entertainment of others," it's "pretty lonely."
"It's cool to be back involved at some level and to feel, like, hey, this thing -- even though the relationship didn't work out, it doesn't just die and get put on a shelf," Ben said.
Ben revealed, however, he and Jessica chose not to watch his season together because it wasn't "healthy" for their relationship, even though he insisted neither of them feel jealous or insecure in their marriage.
Jessica has stayed by Ben's side even during the most difficult times, such as a "breakdown" in Summer 2021 that left Ben soul-searching and reaching out to family and friends for support.
Ben previously admitted that he "lost" himself from being so wrapped up in fame and struggled to navigate life once that attention from The Bachelor "started to fade."
For Lauren's part, the Season 20 The Bachelor alum is married with one child to country singer Chris Lane.
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About The Author: Elizabeth Kwiatkowski