The Bachelor's Britt Nilsson has opened up about very personal struggles she suffered through while competing for Chris Soules on Season 19.
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Britt, who appeared on The Bachelor in 2015 and then squared off against Kaitlyn Bristowe to become The Bachelorette's eleventh-season star but lost, revealed she battled bulimia and alcoholism during his reality TV stints.
"For me, having tons of food everywhere... it just became too much," Britt said in a YouTube video she posted earlier this month. "I had pain and anxiety, I felt insecure, I didn't feel pretty enough, I didn't know what was going on, I missed my family."
Britt worried her eating disorder was going to be exposed on national television because she was required to wear a microphone 24 hours per day.
"I was totally terrified that it was going to be caught on a mic and that millions of people were going to know that I just couldn't control myself," Britt confessed. "It was really, really hard for me, and it just kept going and going."
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Britt became friends with girls in The Bachelor house but attempted to hide her issues from everyone -- cast, crew and viewers.
"I would take my mic off and try to hide it under towels so they wouldn't hear me throw up, because then that was going to be on the show and that was going to be a plot line. How horrible would that be, to be the girl who has an eating disorder, who can't stop eating and throwing up?" Britt shared.
"I mean, I had broken blood vessels. I would throw up until I was bleeding out of my nose. I just couldn't stop, and that's kind of been a theme in my life."
Britt, a California native who worked as a waitress when she appeared on the show at age 27, also abused alcohol.
"I'm an alcoholic," Britt admitted in the video, although she's been sober now for the last year.
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"Meaning not that I was drinking a bottle of wine by myself in the bathtub, or waking up and taking shots, but my personality, for better or worse, is a personality where little is good, all is best, and more, more, more."
Britt explained drinking excessively is something she's had to "navigate" throughout her "entire life."
"Alcohol has been part of my life off and on, but whenever it is a part of my life I try to control it and I can't," she said.
Britt's ability to be vulnerable about her past issues is probably a sign she's feeling healthy and happy again. In May, she announced her engagement to Jeremy Byrne, whom she had been dating for two years at that point.
"WE ARE ENGAGED!!!! I'm over the moon!!! The man of my dreams and the most godly, amazing, fun, life-giving, silly, intelligent, wonderful best friend I could ever ask for is my future husband!!!!" Britt captioned a photo of the pair sitting on a sofa next to a table adorned with rose petals and candles.
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"I have been dreaming of this day forever!! Thank You Jesus!!! Wooo hooooo!!!!! I had no idea it was coming and it was the best day of my life! I love you forever Jeremy Byrne!!!"
Chris eliminated Britt before the women's round of hometown dates. He gave his final rose and a Neil Lane diamond engagement ring to Whitney Bischoff at the end of his The Bachelor edition, however, the couple broke up several months later following his participation on Dancing with the Stars.
About The Author: Elizabeth Kwiatkowski