The Bachelor alum Rachael Kirkconnell has revealed that Matt James posted their breakup statement without her consent -- or even a heads up -- and how she found out about it.
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Rachael, choking back tears, continued, "He didn't even text me to give me a warning, saying like, 'Hey, I'm posting this.' So it just hurt to know that that's how my friends found out and my family and my little sister -- and that I didn't even get to talk to them about it or just grieve privately for a day."
Matt, who gave his final rose to Rachael on The Bachelor's Season 25 finale that aired in early 2021, announced his split from Rachael after four years of dating on January 16 via Instagram shortly after the pair had discussed wanting to get engaged and have kids in multiple media interviews.
Matt's breakup statement raised eyebrows and was deemed "strange" and "weird" by fans because of its religious connotation and lack of specifics about what went wrong in his relationship with Rachael.
While Matt tagged Rachael in his post, she remained silent until her appearance on the "Call Her Daddy" podcast.
Rachael shared with Alex how she had met Matt in London on January 3 and then, from there, the couple flew to Tokyo because they had free time and flight vouchers that were about to expire.
Rachael said at the time of this trip to Japan, their relationship was "great" and healthy.
However, on the morning of Rachael's flight back home to Georgia for a baby shower -- which she didn't end up attending -- a small argument sparked and Matt ultimately dumped Rachael.
"He let out everything I guess he had been feeling for a while, I don't know. He said that, at the end of the day, there were qualities about me he worries about having in a wife... and there were things where we weren't compatible," Rachael explained.
Rachael said it seemed like Matt had "a realization" in that moment.
"[He said], 'I should want to propose to you at this time... and I should be ready for that, but I'm not still... I don't know if I ever see myself proposing to you. I can't actually see myself married to you,'" Rachael claimed.
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Rachael therefore asked Matt if she simply wasn't his "perfect person," and he confirmed that she wasn't The One for him.
After Matt ended their relationship, Rachael recalled, "I just said, 'Okay,' and then I got my suitcase, went down into the lobby, got into a car, and went to the airport... I just couldn't believe it! Going to the airport, I was like, 'What the hell is happening?'"
Rachael admitted the breakup definitely "came out of nowhere" and she felt "pure shock" and "so much confusion" after the unexpected dumping.
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Rachael said after arriving at the airport, checking her luggage and boarding her flight, she could not connect her phone to WiFi.
"It just can't, I don't know why," Rachael said of her phone's malfunction.
"So whenever I take these long flights, I'm off the grid. So we're literally getting ready to take off and my phone blows up. It's one of my best friends and it says, "Rach???"
Rachael recalled, "As soon as I saw that, I was like, 'Oh my god, how does she know?!' And then she texted me again and said, 'I saw Matt's post. Is this real life?' And that's how I found out that he posted."
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"So I'm freaking out because I just got broken up with and now, a few hours later, it's for the whole world to see," Rachael said, breaking down into tears.
"And I'm still trying to process it. I'm still in total shock. So then knowing the whole world is seeing this, I'm like, 'This is so crazy I cannot wrap my mind around this right now!'"
Rachael admitted she was "still processing" what went down with Matt a week after their breakup.
Matt had written in his cryptic January 16 statement, "Father God, give Rachael and I strength to mend our broken hearts. Give us a peace about this decision to end our relationship that transcends worldly understanding."
The Season 25 The Bachelor star concluded, "Shower our friends and family with kindness and love to comfort us. And remind us that our Joy comes from you, Lord," along with a broken-heart emoji.
Rachael told Alex, "I was so freaked out about the breakup itself, and then knowing I would have to navigate this very publicly, that's all I was thinking. I wasn't even analyzing the post like everyone else was."
Rachael said it was funny to read people's reactions to the post because Matt had posted a photo from the couple's time on The Bachelor and they had "definitely tried to remove" themselves from the show.
"It was definitely interesting to see the caption only because I feel like... it also seemed like saying it as a prayer was the easier way to say it than to say something real," Rachael shared.
"[By saying] real, I mean saying something that was actually authentic to our relationship. But it's very him, and I guess it didn't surprise me that he said it like that. I guess I'm just surprised that he said it at all, that he posted that."
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Rachael said she'd "love to know" why Matt had posted that statement, and she still wonders if it was out of anger.
"Maybe he was all worked up... or maybe it was one of those things where he felt like he needed to do it to really and finally, like, put a nail in the coffin," Rachael reasoned.
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Alex was surprised Rachael didn't ask to borrow anyone's phone on the plane, and Rachael admitted that she was "definitely worried" about what the reaction was going to be online.
Alex also pointed out how Matt, who traveled with Rachael constantly, was well aware that Rachael's WiFi doesn't work on flights.
"Yeah," Rachael conceded.
"Even landing was so scary, the anxiety that came over me, knowing I was about to get service back. I didn't know what I was about to see, and I just knew my phone was going to be blowing up from all of my friends and family and everything. So that hurt."
Once Rachael's plane landed, she hopped into her car and drove home to Atlanta.
"I think [Matt's] post went up at 6AM in New York time, and I think I landed at 6PM, so it had been all day my friends were waiting to hear from me," Rachael lamented.
"I got in my car and did a voice memo and let them know what happened. And then I went home, and when I got home at 8 or 9PM, I went straight to sleep because I was exhausted. And when I'm depressed, I completely shut down and I just sleep and don't get out of bed."
Rachael said she didn't text Matt that day and she figured it would be best not to talk to him at all.
"Because he didn't give me the decency to, like, give me a heads up or even just give me a few days," Rachael said.
"It's one thing to -- I don't even think you should post a breakup announcement the same day you break up let alone not even give me a warning that you're doing it. So yeah, I just went home and slept for what it felt like 48 hours."
Rachael said she woke up to her sister, who had a key and let herself into Rachael's place.
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"I just needed to be by myself for a bit and not talk about it or think about it... I think when you talk about it, it just feels more real. I just wasn't ready to accept it, I guess."
Rachael, however, said she believes Matt was faithful to her in the four years they were together, and she confirmed any recent cryptic social-media posts she had "liked" or reposted about cheating happened before her split from Matt.
Rachael also didn't see the breakup coming because Matt had allegedly suggested they should go look at engagement rings just a few months beforehand -- but he obviously never followed through.
"I did think we were on the same page! When we would talk about things, he always seemed like he was on the same page -- privately or publicly," Rachael said.
Rachael is now left picking up the pieces of her life as a single woman, who is hoping to find independence and confidence she's apparently been lacking for years.
"When you picture your life, you have an idea of what it's going to look like. And now, I have no idea what life is going to look like from here on out. I was picturing these kids that are obviously no longer a thing," Rachael said in tears.
"That's probably one of the saddest things about it... Now, it's all taken away."
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About The Author: Elizabeth Kwiatkowski