The Bachelor alum Susie Evans has revealed whether she'd be open to looking for love on a future season of Bachelor in Paradise following her split from Clayton Echard.
|
ADVERTISEMENT
|
RELATED LINK: 'THE BACHELOR' FRANCHISE COUPLES NOW: WHO IS STILL TOGETHER?? (PHOTOS)
"I really don't think so, unfortunately. I don't think it's [for me]. It just sounds like my nightmare, if I'm being honest," Susie, 29, confessed about appearing on Bachelor in Paradise.
"I used to be like, 'Oh, my gosh, so many Paradise couples make it, like, it's a great way [to meet someone] because you're getting a ton of different options. You can feel things out, that's great.' But then watching it back this season, having been on a show, I was like, 'This is actually my nightmare.'"
Susie elaborated of why Paradise sounds awful to her, "You're on a beach, you're in a swimsuit, like, 'Eww, no thank you to being on camera in a swimsuit ever!'"
Susie also suggested the Bachelor in Paradise process, and all of its stiff competition, isn't for her.
"Besides [the bikini part], you're literally down there and they're bringing down, like, literal temptation. You think you're in this great relationship, 'paradise,' and then they bring down somebody who's, like, beautiful, funny, smart and all this stuff," Susie vented.
"And it's like, 'What?' That literally sounds like a nightmare to me, so I don't know. I have a lot of great coping mechanisms, I have a lot of confidence -- but I don't know that I would willingly sign up for that."
Susie also said she's not itching or desperate to find a man just yet.
"Somebody asked me on a date yesterday and I immediately started sweating and I was like, 'I don't know if I can do this.' Not because I'm not ready, but just because dating is scary," she noted.
Susie competed on The Bachelor's 26th season earlier this year and won Clayton's heart.
Susie, however, rejected Clayton's final rose because he had been intimate with -- and also expressed his love to -- two other bachelorettes, Gabby Windey and Rachel Recchia, who went on to star on The Bachelorette's nineteenth season.
RELATED LINK: 'THE BACHELOR' FRANCHISE COUPLES NOWRELATED LINK: 'THE BACHELORETTE' COUPLES NOW: WHOM DID 'THE BACHELORETTE' STARS AND THEIR BACHELOR PICKS ULTIMATELY END UP WITH?! (PHOTOS)
But Susie apparently reached out to Clayton for some answers after the show ended, which resulted in the pair talking and reconciling.
By the time The Bachelor: After the Final Rose aired in March, Clayton and Susie were full-on dating and in love.
Clayton and Susie, who later discovered they're not compatible and need to work on themselves before being in a relationship -- announced their decision to part ways and end their relationship in late September, with Clayton assuring fans that he and the wedding videographer were "on good terms."
Part of the reason Susie doesn't want to appear on Bachelor in Paradise is because of what she experienced during her stint on The Bachelor.
"I look back and I'm like, 'That was not kind, like, I was not treated well in this moment,' or whatever my feelings were -- and everybody feels that way, nobody's going to come off reality television and be like, 'That was a wonderful experience, I exploited my emotional well-being for the purpose of entertainment,'" Susie joked.
"There's just no way you're going to come off of something like that and be totally stoked about everything. It's vulnerable, it's tough -- [but] it's business, like, it's literally business for people."
Susie said "a part" of her was therefore able to separate the show from her love life and it helped that she had made great friends while filming Clayton's season.
"I loved the girls from my season. I had so much respect for them. I had so much fun with them. I had so many wonderful moments with them when we were filming and I went back to Virginia, [I] went back to my normal life afterward, so, like, I don't see any of them really," Susie said.
ADVERTISEMENT
"It's been fun to watch The Bachelorette, Bachelor in Paradise [and] see these relationships [and] the story lines unravel or whatever. It was entertaining for me," Susie shared.
"And I did watch the show for the two or three years leading up to going on it. I started watching on [Colton Underwood]'s and then I would get on Twitter and Twitter's just so funny."
RELATED LINK: 'THE BACHELOR' COUPLES NOW: WHO DID 'THE BACHELOR' STARS AND THEIR BACHELORETTE PICKS ACTUALLY END UP MARRYING? (PHOTOS)
But looking back on her The Bachelor journey as a whole, Susie said she wouldn't "change anything" about it.
"Obviously our relationship didn't work out and so much could have been different this past year if we had figured that out sooner," Susie told Us of Clayton. "But in all honesty, I wouldn't change anything."
Susie said if she could go back in time and talk to herself during Clayton's season, she would warn about "hard" times ahead but also explain how everything that happens results in personal growth and character development.
"I would honestly just be there for myself and be like, 'You're going to get through this... It's going to help you understand yourself better,'" Susie reasoned.
"Whenever we leave relationships, we have that realization of like, 'Oh, this is what I want in a partner, this is what I don't want.' And that's a given. But I also learned so much about myself through all of this that, which is kind of what led me to the blog."
Susie created a blog titled "Susie Was Like," where she shares advice, stories and truths. She also views the blog as a way to express herself and engage with an online community.
"I've gone on this, like, major journey in this past year where I've really had to look at myself and [ask] like, 'What? How did I get through all this?'" Susie said.
Susie acknowledged that after going on an emotional ride of falling in love and going through a public breakup, she "definitely" wants to just focus on herself right now.
"I did put a lot of energy and time into my relationship and I really cared about Clayton, and I think that he was going through a lot of tough stuff as well. So, I'm really excited to be able to focus on me right now," Susie concluded.
ADVERTISEMENT
RELATED LINK: '90 DAY FIANCE' COUPLES NOW: WHO IS STILL TOGETHER? WHO HAS SPLIT? WHERE ARE THEY NOW? (PHOTOS)
Clayton -- who had moved to Virginia Beach to be with Susie after The Bachelor -- chose Scottsdale, AZ, as his new home, and Susie relocated to Los Angeles, CA.
"It's really hard because when we first broke up... my first initial feeling was, like, I felt abandoned -- that was my first feeling," Clayton admitted in a joint appearance with Susie on the "Off the Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe" podcast in early October.
"I was like, 'We're just going to end this.' I was upset. I didn't even want to look in her direction because I was like: If I look at you, the hurt is gonna tear me apart."
Clayton and Susie explained how they broke up because neither person felt stable or fully emotionally supported in the relationship due to their insecurities and outside pressure from Bachelor Nation to be a perfect couple.
Clayton shared how it felt nearly impossible to pour into his relationship with Susie when he didn't even know what he wanted out of life and where his future was headed.
The couple also confirmed how dealing with Bachelor-Nation backlash was a big factor in why they had issues and ultimately parted ways.
"I was trying to figure out what my next step was [and] I started questioning who I was because of all the negativity," Clayton said.
He added, "I started to believe some of what was being said about me. And I now look back at it and realize, like, I couldn't be that stable, secure man that I needed to be to really be able to give my all in a relationship."
Clayton claimed he had received death threats and felt the need to rehab his image and please others, all the while trying to handle problems in his relationship, such as wrongly being accused of cheating on Susie.
When Susie and Clayton announced their breakup in a September 23 statement, they wrote, "We stand in support of each other and hope to see the other go on to find happiness and healing. Although Claysie is no more, we hope that our communities can support us individually as we move forward with love and respect for each other."
ADVERTISEMENT
"There are things private to us that we will probably never talk about... and I think that's healthy and protects our mental health and what we have struggled with... We want to respect each other's boundaries," Susie said on "Off the Vine."
Clayton also said he thought there was a possibility he and Susie may get back together down the road.
RELATED LINK: 'THE BACHELOR' FRANCHISE COUPLES NOW: WHO IS STILL TOGETHER?? (PHOTOS)
Interested in more The Bachelor news? Join our The Bachelor Facebook Group!
About The Author: Elizabeth Kwiatkowski
