The Bachelor star Ben Higgins stands by the fact he truly loved two bachelorettes this season, arguing that love is "not about logic" but rather what's in the heart.
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Higgins confessed his love to both Lauren Bushnell and Joelle "JoJo" Fletcher during Monday night's episode of The Bachelor, which featuring the Fantasy Suite dates. Higgins' love admissions shocked Bachelor Nation and even the two women who joyously got to hear those three little words back.
Regardless of what anyone says, Higgins claims he found true, real, sincere love with both Bushnell and Fletcher.
"I think my biggest fear with people seeing [the episode] this week and hearing me express that I am in love with both JoJo and Lauren is that it will make everyone feel like it's not real love. Or that I don't comprehend what love is because I am feeling it for two women at once. But I really do," the Bachelor wrote in his People blog.
"I gave this more thought than you can possibly imagine. I feel like as I watched it back this week, it looked like it came so easy for me to let those words slip out, but I can't tell you the hours of anguish and sleepless nights I faced as I wrestled with those feelings and came to realize that I was truly in love with both JoJo and Lauren."
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Higgins elaborated on how he really needed to dig down deep to determine how strong his feelings were for his Final 2 bachelorettes.
"I really searched my soul and prayed and tried to figure out how this was possible. But at the end of the day, I could not deny my feelings for each one of these women," Higgins wrote.
"I came into this journey telling myself that I needed to trust myself and not shy away from any and all feelings I experienced. For better or for worse. And so after all of that prayer and soul searching and tossing and turning in bed, I just had to accept it and see where it led me."
Higgins narrowed Season 20's cast down to two bachelorettes who are "very different" but "equally remarkable" in his eyes.
"Going into this, I still had a fear that I may be unlovable, and now here I am with not just one woman that I can see a real and wonderful future with, but TWO. I'm still not sure how it happened but it did," Higgins noted, jokingly adding that it's a "first world problem" to have.
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Higgins knew he was in love with Bushnell "a while ago" at this point in his journey and said "I love you" to her first.
"Our relationship progressed faster than any other relationship I had had here. From the very beginning it just seemed so easy and so right... For as long as I even consciously tried to keep myself from getting too carried away, I could not deny that I was in love with Lauren..." Higgins explained.
And he said there was "absolutely no doubt" in his mind he was also in love with Fletcher.
"This girl made me feel like nothing I had ever thought was possible... I knew my feelings for JoJo were just as strong. It may not have come as easy or been as clear with JoJo from the beginning, but all that we had been through together had forced us to have some very real and deep conversations," the Bachelor said.
About The Author: Elizabeth Kwiatkowski