The Bachelor Ben Higgins is not trying to live up to "the best Bachelor ever" title.

ADVERTISEMENT

"[That] is not my goal at all. I just wanted to stay true to myself and really give every one of these relationships the full effort that they deserved... I hope I did both of those things despite the mistakes I am sure I made along the way," Higgins wrote in his People blog following last night's Season 20 episode.

"I know all these commercials have painted me out to be a 'perfect Ben,' and I get the play on words, but I think me pulling [Olivia Caridi] first may be the first example that I am definitely not perfect."

Higgins is referring to his second group date of the season in which Caridi was declared most compatible with him based on a series of visual, smell and touch tests in the "Love Lab."

During the night portion of the date, Higgins immediately pulled Caridi out of the group for a private conversation -- prompting his other bachelorettes to get jealous and call it "The Olivia and Ben Show." One of the twins later told the cameras it felt like it was "Olivia against the rest of the house."

"I definitely was feeling something for Olivia. It's hard not to. She's so poised and intelligent, not to mention stunningly beautiful, and I used her getting the high score in the lab as an excuse that I thought would justify it to the other girls," he said.

"Watching it now, I realize not only the target that it put on her back, but how underappreciated it may have made the other women feel. But I was learning as I went along, and I never said I was perfect, despite what the commercials and magazines may tell you."

After apologizing for another mistake involving Samantha Passmore -- when he told her she smelled "sour" in the "Love Lab" -- Higgins explained his decision to give the second group-date rose to Caridi despite a wonderful conversation with single mom Amanda Stanton.

"When it came down to the rose, it was really a nearly impossible decision. Every one of these women really put themselves out there and, like with my last group date, I could not believe how quickly I was really starting to feel for so many of them already," Higgins noted.

"But at the end of the day, I had to go with my heart and what I was really feeling. And the connection I was feeling with Olivia already was really something I felt like I wanted to acknowledge."

At this point in the season, Higgins has also acknowledged connections with Lauren Bushnell, Jubilee Sharpe, Becca Tilley, Caila Quinn, Joelle "JoJo" Fletcher, and Jennifer Saviano.


About The Author: Elizabeth Kwiatkowski

FOLLOW REALITY TV WORLD ON GOOGLE NEWS