The Bachelor's Rachel Nance has revealed that she was almost a no-show to Joey Graziadei's Rose Ceremony after Fantasy Suites and also whether her elimination shocked her.
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"I knew that I was going to go home," Rachel told Bachelor in Paradise spouses Serena Pitt and Joe Amabile on the "Bachelor Happy Hour" podcast.
The ICU nurse from Hawaii who currently resides in California added, "I think towards the end, he and I definitely knew that that's as far as our relationship was going to go."
Rachel's ouster aired during the second half of The Bachelor: The Women Tell All on Monday, March 18.
Although Rachel had essentially predicted her exit after Fantasy Suites, her tears were still flowing when Joey said goodbye to her in Tulum, Mexico.
Rachel also cried watching the footage back when she was sitting in the hot seat next to The Bachelor host Jesse Palmer on The Women Tell All.
"I think it was so emotional because I went so far with him, and you're pretty much at the end," Rachel noted.
"And so my natural instinct was me thinking, 'Was I enough? Did I not do enough? Did we run out of time? What was it?' And it was definitely an unspoken understanding that this would be it for us."
Rachel therefore insisted her tears "were real" and authentic.
"Not hearing my name called [at the Rose Ceremony], I felt that our friendship was also done and I had no say in it," Rachel explained on the podcast.
Rachel was apparently so sure that Joey was going to dump her, she considered skipping the Rose Ceremony entirely.
"So part of me, I was thinking, 'I know I'm going to go home, maybe I just shouldn't go to the Rose Ceremony,'" Rachel recalled.
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Had Rachel not attended the Final 3 Rose Ceremony, Daisy Kent and Kelsey Anderson would've automatically received Joey's two roses.
However, Daisy and Kelsey probably would've wondered if Rachel had quit on Joey or chose to leave the competition on her own accord. Rachel's premature exit may have left Joey's Final 2 bachelorettes questioning if Joey had closure from his relationship with Rachel or even wanted her to go.
"That's really what I was thinking to myself," Rachel reiterated.
"But I didn't want to take away the joy and happiness of hearing your name being called from the other two women just because I love and respect them so much."
The bachelorette elaborated, "I think it'd be a disservice to [them] if I didn't show up because I would love my name to be called as the Final 2 bachelorettes, and so I didn't want to take that joy away from the other women."
Rachel admitted it was hard to come to terms with the fact her The Bachelor journey, which had taught her so much about herself and what she wants in a healthy relationship, was over.
"That's also why I was crying, because I knew it was going to happen. I knew this was the end for Joey and I," Rachel noted.
When hugging Joey goodbye, Rachel said she could "feel that there was so much love there," adding, "Even though it was a platonic love, that's also my favorite type of love. But it was still hard, and it was hard to watch back."
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"I've said this to [Joey], but I think my favorite memory was he and I parting ways because you can't force anything and we both gave it our all," Rachel shared.
"I know... we both care about each other and respect each other, so yeah! I keep saying we're friends and I'm so glad I can be friends with my ex! It sounds like a beautiful, beautiful thing."
Although Rachel called her love for Joey "platonic" on the "Bachelor Happy Hour" podcast, she told Jesse at The Women Tell All taping earlier this month that she was "in love" with The Bachelor star.
Rachel recently told Us Weekly that she felt a "sense of home" with Joey and a "pure love" between them.
Rachel said a part of her wishes she had told Joey that she was in love with him sooner, but she was also proud of herself for being vulnerable and putting her heart on the line after being cheated on twice in past relationships.
While Rachel confessed she "wouldn't do" The Bachelor again, she may be open to starring on The Bachelorette or looking for love in Mexico on Bachelor in Paradise.
"I am open to whatever feels right in the moment. As of right now, I'm enjoying everything settling down. I'm enjoying seeing the way things are unfolding, and it's looking amazing for my future," Rachel told the magazine.
"So we'll see what the future holds, but until then, I'm just going to go home, back to Hawaii and relax on the beach."
Rachel also took to Instagram after The Women Tell All special aired and wrote about how The Bachelor was "one of the hardest yet most beautiful journeys" of her life.
"So thankful to my family and friends who supported me through it all. I found an appreciation for my faith that helped me stick to my morals and never lose sight of who I am as a person. I had the chance to meet some of the most amazing people who I am blessed to now call my friends and extended family," Rachel wrote.
"Thank you to Joey for this beautiful relationship. Although short lived, the memories will last a lifetime. If there's one thing I learned from my favorite show Friends is that Joey and Rachel will always have love for one another and support one another. Thankfully, in my case this is also true."
Rachel concluded, "Nurse Rachel might've missed her shot at love but got it right by falling back in love with herself. I can't wait to see what the future holds! Thank you to @abcnetwork @bachelorabc for the memories. Till the next crazy adventure I embark on."
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Click here to learn more about Joey's The Bachelor bachelorettes or click here to read spoilers that reveal how Joey's season ends and who he picked as his winner.
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About The Author: Elizabeth Kwiatkowski
