'The Bachelor' star Chris Soules: Becca Tilley isn't ready to fall in love and so I had to think logically

The Bachelor star Chris Soules admits he doesn't think Becca Tilley is ready for a romantic relationship although she's insisted otherwise in recent interviews.


"Becca had some challenges with commitment. She's not ready to fall in love, and she's not ready to settle down. Clearly I had strong feelings for her, but I had to start looking at it from a logical perspective," Soules told People in its March 23 cover story.

"The more we talked, I just saw that [Arlington] would be a tough transition for her, especially to even consider living my lifestyle."

Soules ended up getting engaged to Whitney Bischoff who's widely believed to be the Bachelor's "sure thing" or "safe choice." Soules seemed to pick Bischoff only after Tilley couldn't confirm the things the 33-year-old farmer needed to hear -- that she loved him or would be willing to move to Iowa for him.

"I know my brother-in-law Jason questioned if the reason I was drawn to Becca was because she was 'the girl who's hard to get,' but I know that wasn't the reason. It had nothing to do with her lack of reciprocating my feelings -- trust me, I probably would have had even stronger feelings if she had been more vocal," Soules wrote in his People blog.


"My feelings for her were because of who she is and how she made me feel... When she met my family, she also totally knocked it out of the park. Watching her conversation now with my sisters reminds me of how honest and real Becca is. She didn't try to sugarcoat anything with them and didn't try to oversell herself under false pretenses. She was undeniably herself."

Tilley was shown having a deep conversation with Soules' mother about the future in the final episode. Soules' mom was convinced Tilley loved her son even though the 25-year-old chiropractic assistant from San Diego, CA, couldn't come to grips with saying it or even recognizing it.

"Watching her conversation with my mom was very surprising. It's the first (and only) time I've ever seen [Becca] cry. Mom sure knows how to tug on those heartstrings," Soules said.

"Hearing my dad say that he thought Whitney was the sure thing -- but that Becca was who I wanted -- was hard to watch. The truth is, at that time, I didn't know what I wanted. And also, any time you take a chance on love, it's a risk, no matter whom it's with."

In order to make his big decision, Soules felt the need to have some serious conversations with Tilley.


"I didn't go through this journey to hold back; I needed to put all my cards on the table," he wrote in the blog. "I had to ask her the tough questions and push her like my sisters suggested. I understood how hard this was for Becca because she'd never been in love before, but I really needed to know where her heart was."

When it became time for the final Rose Ceremony and Soules had a beautiful diamond engagement ring in his pocket, he was waiting for Tilley to enter the barn first. Soules "truly didn't know" how he'd feel upon seeing her, so how did he become so certain that selecting Bischoff was the correct choice?

"I knew [Becca] wasn't ready for the kind of commitment I was ready for, but I didn't know that I would be able to say goodbye to what we had. Saying those words to her was painful, but what almost hurt even more was the lack of emotion she showed in that moment. I knew then, deep in my heart, I was making the right decision," Soules explained.

"I need someone I can relate to emotionally, on a deep, deep level, and I just don't think Becca is there yet. Yes, it was horrible and painful saying goodbye to her, but I finally had my answer and felt a huge sense of relief in my gut."

Soules then noted that "something magical happened" when Bischoff arrived at the barn for what he knew would be a proposal.


"The sun came out for the first time in days as Whitney was approaching the barn. I don't know if it was the sun or what, but in that moment I finally had the clarity I was searching for. It had been staring me in my face the whole time, I was just too confused to notice it," the Bachelor wrote.

"It was so clear to me that Whitney was the love of my life. I knew I was falling in love with her, but as soon as I let go of my relationship with Becca, it was so clear that I was in love with Whitney. I know that may sound weird to you, but I've always said, when you know, you know. And I knew."

Soules felt completely overwhelmed when Bischoff walked up the stairs in her dress.

"This was the woman I've been searching for my whole life. Being able to tell Whitney that I loved her was like lifting a huge weight off my shoulders. Saying those words to her was so easy, because it was, and is, true. I love that woman. I had no hesitations getting on one knee for her. Everything felt right and perfect," Soules explained.

"Yes, it was probably the hardest week of my life. This whole journey was the hardest thing I've ever done, but that moment made every heartache and tear worth it. Whitney is the woman of my dreams. She is going to make an incredible, doting wife and loving mother. She makes me better. She's my other half. I can't wait for us to start our life together."






About The Author: Elizabeth Kwiatkowski