It's no surprise that at this point in The Bachelor season, Chris Soules finds Britt Nilsson irresistible, and he'll be the first to admit it.

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"I had no idea [Britt] was terrified of heights. I was pretty shocked watching that because of how excited she was on our [one-on-one] date... When it came time to wake up Britt, I did not mean to shush [Carly Waddell]. I don't even remember doing that... I just didn't want to ruin the surprise! Carly, I'm sorry about that," Soules wrote in his People blog of the moments leading up to the couple's hot air balloon ride.

"And, in hindsight, I shouldn't have kissed Britt with the other girls in the room, but I honestly couldn't help myself. She looked so beautiful and so excited; it was the only natural thing to do. Also, I'm a dude."

Whether it was out of genuine repulsion or just plain jealousy, the other bachelorettes in the house repeatedly made fun of Nilsson for never showering and sleeping with a full face of makeup on.

"Hey, I don't know whether it's normal or not for girls to sleep in their makeup. I know there was a lot of talk about that, but I can't speak for Britt on why she did that, all I know is that she looked gorgeous, and I'm sure she'd look beautiful without makeup, too. And about all that showering business, Britt always smelled good -- and looked good -- so I really don't know what to say about that. I'm the kind of guy who showers every day (as all of America gets to see!) but to each her own, right?" Soules explained.

After a "spectacular" morning with Nilsson, the couple went back to Soules' hotel room and its doors closed behind them as they madeout on the bed. It remains unknown what happened in that room.

"I just wanted to spend more time getting to know Britt. She'd mentioned to me a few weeks prior that her perfect date would be taking a nap, so I made that happen. I didn't know she'd go and tell all the girls about it. I know, I should have known. The girls always talk!" Soules said.

The Bachelor then addressed concern that Nilsson appeared on the show with questionable intentions.

"Also, I want to reiterate the fact that I don't get to see or hear what happens when I'm not around until it's on television. Watching the girls talk about Britt while we were on our date, as well as about how she said she didn't want kids any time soon and loved being single, was the first I'd heard of that. She seemed sincere when she was telling me about her desire for marriage and kids. All I can say is stay tuned," he wrote.

Soules also weighed-in on his intimate yet awkward date with Waddell in which they met with a sex guru and had to touch one another and do strange physical things. As time progressed, however, their connection definitely grew.

"Little did I know I would end up shirtless and nearly hyperventilating... Of all the women, I knew Carly was the perfect person to bring on this date. She and I had already established a fun, friendly connection, but I really needed to see if we could relate on a romantic level... I knew from the moment that I walked in and saw Tziporah that things were about to get weird," Soules said in the blog.

"Now, what you didn't fully get to see was that Tziporah had us start our session with at least 10 minutes of heavy breathing, almost a sort of panting exercise. Both Carly and I felt like we were going to pass out. I actually couldn't feel my lips at all and got light-headed. When it was my turn to massage Carly, I'm not gonna lie, things got pretty awkward."

Soules shared a tidbit of information that would help explain why the date was so uncomfortable for both individuals -- as if what was shown on television wasn't enough.

"Some random guy was sitting behind the cameras about 15 feet away smoking cigarettes and staring at us like he wanted to join in. Not cool. I don't know who he was, but he wasn't a producer or a crew guy because I hadn't seen him until that day, and I haven't seen him since. The only time I see that creepy guy is in my nightmares!" Soules explained.

"Back to the weirdness. When Tziporah started talking about 'removing masks,' it was pretty clear that both Carly and I were feeling really uncomfortable. I was relieved when Carly said she didn't want to go farther. I mean, what was Tziporah trying to get at? If it were up to her, I bet we'd have ended up fully nude. I don't think the good people at ABC would have appreciated that -- and nor would I."

The Bachelor confessed the hardest part of the whole experience with Waddell was "not being allowed to kiss" her during the exercise in which their faces were very close to one another.

"Thankfully there are always plenty of Listerine strips on hand because we were actually breathing into each other's faces. The exercise did give me a lot of insight into my feelings for Carly because I did want to kiss her, and that answered any questions I had about chemistry with her. When Carly said she felt like she wasn't worthy of love, it broke my heart..." Soules continued.

"I hate that Carly hasn't been treated well in past relationships and hasn't been made to feel wanted or desired. The girl is beautiful inside and out, and any man who wouldn't desire her is crazy. Giving Carly the rose that night was an easy decision, and I hope she finally felt beautiful and wanted."

The next The Bachelor episode airs Monday, February 9 at 8PM ET/PT on ABC.


About The Author: Elizabeth Kwiatkowski

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