The Bachelor star Chris Soules isn't asking for sympathy, but apparently his decision to oust Kaitlyn Bristowe after his round of overnight dates was absolutely brutal.
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"Now, I know a lot of you probably don't feel bad for me... but that last day in Bali was probably one of the hardest days of my life. I truly woke up not knowing who I was going to say goodbye to, and I hated the fact that I had to send someone home," Soules wrote in his People blog.
Soules' choice to eliminate the wise-cracking, dance-instructing Canadian left Whitney Bischoff and Becca Tilley still in the running to win his heart.
"I know I signed up for it, but I wasn't ready to end any of my relationships. I was falling in love with all three of them, and they each possessed qualities I could see in my future wife. I really wanted them all to meet my family knowing they could help me make this difficult decision," Soules said.
"Knowing I was about to say goodbye to Kaitlyn hurt me so much, especially after the incredible day and night we had just spent together. Saying goodbye to her was physically painful."
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Bristowe did her best not to cry while saying goodbye to Soules, but she broke down bawling in the last couple of moments and couldn't maintain her composure any longer.
"I could feel the sadness in her eyes, and, trust me, I was really hurting too. When she asked me, 'What happened?' I really didn't know what to say because it wasn't one thing that 'happened.' It was simply that I had to make a decision that I honestly wasn't ready to make, and I had to go with my gut. Man, that was brutal. It was just as hard to watch it," the Bachelor wrote in his blog.
Soules was convinced Bristowe was an "incredible" woman.
"She's smart, funny, but also deep and soft," he noted.
"She's everything I thought I ever wanted. In any other circumstance we would still be together, but at that point it just wasn't an option. Under these circumstances, sometimes there just isn't enough time. Kaitlyn, if you're reading this, I hope you understand how deeply I cared for you."
About The Author: Elizabeth Kwiatkowski