The Bachelor star Chris Soules apparently had very little closure from Britt Nilsson when he sent her packing and, if anything, he was still confused about her.
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"Watching now can be so strange. I obviously had no idea Britt had packed her things and told the girls she wanted to leave. What I don't understand is this: If Britt had packed her things and truly had the intention of leaving, why would she want to wait until the Rose Ceremony to see me?" Soules wrote in his People blog.
"If she truly wanted to end things with me and leave, why didn't she try to come see me before? Like Chris Harrison said at the beginning of this whole deal, there were no rules, so she could have easily come to see me and broken up with me, if that's what she truly wanted. That is something I'll never understand."
Soules revealed that going into the first Rose Ceremony during Monday night's episode, he knew exactly what he was going to do.
"Frankly, I was not going to give Britt a rose. Yes, her outburst a couple nights prior had something to do with it, but it wasn't just that. Her sincerity had been on my mind for a couple days," Soules explained, referencing how Nilsson had gotten pissed at him when he gave Kaitlyn Bristowe the group date rose before hometown dates.
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"First remember that [Ashley Iaconetti] said something about her on the two-on-one? When I was saying goodbye to her, she questioned if Britt would be the type to live in Iowa. And what you didn't get to see was that at the cocktail party in Deadwood, [Jade Roper] said something to me about Britt. She said she constantly flip-flopped on her opinions and was just telling me what I wanted to hear."
Carly Waddell's concern was the "last straw." She told him that Nilsson wasn't genuine and might end up hurting him.
"I also started feeling like Britt's over-the-topness wasn't fully sincere. It started to feel like she was putting on a performance. And the girls' comments supported that," Soules said.
Nilsson got very giddy when discussing the possibility of moving to his farm in Arlington, and Soules had a hard time believing any girl would be that ecstatic and thrilled about the idea.
"It was too bad because we did have such a strong connection right off the bat. But truthfully, now I question all of that. Early on I thought she, and our connection, was too good to be true. Turns out it was," Soules wrote.
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"When Britt pulled me aside during the Rose Ceremony, I wasn't surprised. Her recent behavior led me to believe she was going to do something strange. I was thankful that she apologized for the other night, and I accepted her apology. But truthfully, I felt like I was being manipulated to feel like I was somehow in the wrong."
Soules admitted it felt like Nilsson was just trying to break up with him before he got the chance to call it quits with her. He was convinced Nilsson just wanted to beat him to the punch.
"It was very strange. It was as if this whole time she was putting on a show, and she finally got caught, realized I wasn't buying it anymore, and she tried to turn it on me. This isn't how your future wife is supposed to make you feel, so I knew in that moment I was making the right decision," Soules said.
"Saying goodbye to Britt was hard because of how good things were earlier on, and I truly wish her the best because she is an incredible woman, but ending it was the right move for both of us."
In addition to Nilsson, Soules also eliminated Waddell and Roper during Monday night's two-hour broadcast of The Bachelor on ABC.
About The Author: Elizabeth Kwiatkowski