The Bachelor star Clayton Echard says he's "disgusted" by how he was portrayed on his "trainwreck" of a season.
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Clayton, who starred on Season 26 of The Bachelor earlier this year, was heavily scrutinized and criticized for how he had treated his bachelorettes during filming.
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Clayton faced backlash for telling all of his Final 3 women that he loved them and for sleeping with both Gabby Windey and Rachel Recchia before his last Fantasy Suite date with the girl he was supposedly the "most in love" with, Susie Evans.
While Clayton has accepted some responsibility for his behavior over the last several months, he admitted to his local newspaper, The Virginian-Pilot, that he blames production in part for his unflattering edit.
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"Watching it back, I was embarrassed and disgusted by my actions and the way I was portrayed or seen on TV," Clayton, 29, said during his interview with the newspaper published on Sunday.
"Ultimately, I had to live with the fact that my narrative is what was shown. And that was hard because that's not really who I am."
Clayton also received hate during his season for keeping The Bachelor villain Shanae Ankney around so long when most of the women had warned him multiple times about her tendency to be disrespectful and manipulative.
The former medical sales representative and college football player added, "I don't feel that what I was on the show is who I truthfully am but I did those things, I became that person."
Many The Bachelor fans criticized Clayton for being a poor Bachelor choice and having little to no personality or depth. People even poked fun at Clayton for licking his lips and his "gross" kissing noises.
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And on The Bachelor: After the Final Rose that aired in March, Clayton was accused of pitting the women against each other.
Gabby also scolded Clayton for betraying her and not being forthcoming with all of the information he had during filming, and Rachel also said she felt misled and used.
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Rachel even questioned Clayton if he had just said "I love you" during Fantasy Suites in order to sleep with her -- which he firmly denied.
"It was a train wreck, honestly, of a season," Clayton confessed.
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Clayton apparently believes producers chose to show catty fights, emotional breakdowns and his confused moments over romance.
"I was just shocked that I think sometimes the drama was prioritized over the love story," Clayton said.
Once Clayton introduced Gabby and Rachel to his family in Iceland during the final week of the show, he realized Susie was a "once-in-a-lifetime woman" with whom he wanted to spend the rest of his life.
He therefore dumped Gabby and Rachel together and at the same time.
Many fans reached out to Clayton through his Instagram DMs as the season aired, telling him to kill himself and that he's not worthy of love.
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"The hatred by way of numbers was really hard for me to overcome," Clayton explained.
"Had it just been a few messages I would've passed it off. Had it been hundreds of messages, I might have questioned it... But for me, it was thousands of messages, and in a very short period of time, so it became very overwhelming."
Clayton previously said he hit "rock bottom" and sank into depression and anxiety while the show was airing. However, he decided to go to therapy and push through the negativity, ultimately becoming an advocate for mental health.
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Clayton said he is now working on a book dealing with body issues, explaining that "going on the show was a catalyst for me feeling as though I can do this."
"It's something that I'm passionate about, and I want to be able to impact others," Clayton shared.
Back in January, Clayton said on Becca Kufrin's "Bachelor Happy Hour" podcast that he needed to take a step back and "stop reading all the comments" because they can be "detrimental."
"You start to go down this rabbit hole of you read one comment and then the next one piles on and then the next one piles on. You just realize very quickly that you can't keep everyone happy," Clayton said at the time.
"I read one recently about how 'Clayton is too reassuring to the women.'"
Clayton complained that he was either saying too much or not enough, adding, "I need to stop trying to please everyone."
Clayton also revealed at the time his mother was really "struggling" with all the bad publicity and mean comments from fans.
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"People have to understand your words do affect me. I'll put a smile on and start brand new and start the day over... but you think it's just one comment. Understand that... [it's] 10,000 other comments and they all pile on. And it can be a lot," Clayton said.
"It can really affect someone's mental health -- not only mine but my mom's."
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Clayton therefore urged viewers to think twice before posting something mean or nasty online.
But Clayton's roller-coaster experience on the show had a happy ending.
Susie -- who quit The Bachelor during her Fantasy Suite date -- ultimately returned to the show and made an appearance at the Final Rose Ceremony, but she dumped the Bachelor instead of accepting his final rose. Susie said at the time that Clayton wasn't her person and they didn't seem meant to be.
However, Susie reached out to Clayton post-filming seeking some answers, and the pair reconciled.
Clayton even quit his job as a medical sales rep and moved to Susie's Virginia hometown following the filming of After the Final Rose so they could have a real shot at a relationship.
They are now dating and in love.
Susie told Us Weekly earlier this year that the couple now agrees they both made mistakes and "could have done better" in having "more empathy for each other" and listening to each other's perspective.
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