The Bachelor star Sean Lowe admits while it was "agonizing" to send bachelorette AshLee Frazier home, she just wasn't as fun as the other girls and didn't share his sense of humor and adventure.
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"I absolutely dreaded the rose ceremony. I did not want to blindside AshLee the way [Emily Maynard] blindsided me. After taking a deep breath and handing the last rose to Catherine, I was really upset to see AshLee's reaction. Not because it made it more difficult for me, but because I knew she wouldn't have closure if she didn't allow me the chance to explain myself. All I wanted to do was console her and give her closure and talk it out. But I could tell that she wanted to leave my side as quickly as she could. Who was I to try and stop her? It was agonizing."
Unfortunately for Lowe, Frazier seemed almost perfect.
"AshLee was a frontrunner from the very first night. She seemed to have everything that I was looking for -- and I think she was the best for me on paper. However, I was definitely aware that I didn't seem to laugh as much with AshLee as I did with Lindsay and Catherine. AshLee was always very intense and I had to decide if I could be with someone who didn't share my sense of humor," he explained.
Since his one-on-one date with Frazier in Thailand was so "incredible" however, Lowe apparently considered ignoring the obvious.
"I started to convince myself that I could overlook the lack of laughter because her other qualities were so wonderful," the Bachelor wrote.
But Lowe's mind about Frazier potentially being "the one" changed when he finally realized how strong his feelings were for Giudici.
"After sending [Desiree Hartsock] home, I wondered if I would wake up and realize that I had made a mistake. Fortunately, that was not the case. Instead, I woke up and realized that I couldn't get enough of Catherine. I was always so happy around her and I think despite our different lifestyles, we were actually a really good fit together. Her sense of humor, her adventurous nature and her intellect kept me wanting more. I knew I was falling in love with Catherine. That realization led me to the next one... I had to send AshLee home," Lowe said, adding that watching Frazier's heartfelt video message prior to the Rose Ceremony made her ouster even more agonizing.
"I knew that she had given her whole heart to me and I was about to break it."
With only Giudici and Yenter still in the running for The Bachelor star's heart, Lowe had to determine who was a better match for him even though they both had all the qualities he was looking for.
"Everything about my time with Lindsay felt right and I knew I was starting to fall in love with her. Hearing her tell me she loved me solidified what I saw in her eyes every time she looked at me," Lowe wrote. "[After AshLee went home], I remember thinking, I only have one more week to figure out who is the better fit for me -- and that I was going to need every second of that time."
About The Author: Elizabeth Kwiatkowski
