The Bachelorette alum Clare Crawley is opening up on about her "painful" and "messy" split from Dale Moss and how she regrets ever trusting him.
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Dale's representative announced Dale and Clare's official breakup on October 4, revealing the couple had actually split in September.
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"My biggest regret is trusting the process, trusting a man -- a man's words and who he showed me he was," Clare told Jana Kramer on the Thursday episode of the "Whine Down" podcast, according to People.
"I don't think that that's a regret, like, I trusted somebody, I believed somebody that they were who they said they were or that they would hold up to the promises that they make when they get down on one knee."
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"I don't know if that's a regret," the Season 16 The Bachelorette star continued. "I loved, and have always had such a deep love for, Dale, and A) he doesn't go away overnight and B) I don't regret that I loved loving him."
Prior to their recent split, Clare and Dale had called it quits on their engagement once before in January, which totally "crushed" Clare.
Multiple sources had described Dale as a "fame-seeker" and partyboy in New York City while Clare had been very clear from the start about her intentions to get married, settle down and have children in the near future.
Reports also swirled at the time Dale had cheated on Clare, although Dale firmly denied the cheating allegations.
Clare and Dale began going on dates again in February, and then Dale confirmed they were back together in early April by posting a selfie with Clare on Instagram.
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Amid recent rumors Dale "hooked up" with Abigail Heringer before her stint on Bachelor in Paradise's seventh season this summer, Clare acknowledged breakups "can get very messy and very icky."
"I always try to err on the side of taking the high road, even when there are a lot of things I could say," Crawley explained.
Dale's representative also said in an October statement that Clare had blocked Dale after he flew to her home in Sacramento, CA, on September 28 but left the following day for "a work obligation," which turned out to be a fitness event with The Bachelorette alum Tyler Cameron.
Clare apparently needed Dale by her side as her mother's condition with dementia and Alzheimer's worsened. (Clare's mom was later placed in hospice care).
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"I wish people knew both sides, you know, because it's easy for a publicist or a source to put out a narrative of what they want their client or friend to look like and appear to, especially when your career is based, and dreams are based, on being in the public eye. But things are hurtful and I'm human, so it does affect me," Clare reportedly said on the podcast.
"It's very impersonal to be putting out statements and articles," she added. "I think you both know the truth. I know the truth, he knows the truth."
Clare apparently took shots at Dale in a September 30 Instagram post, although she didn't name Dale directly.
She suggested Dale had put on an "act" and created a narrative about their relationship and its demise.
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Clare also tagged Abigail Heringer in her post -- which suggested Clare believes recent the Dale and Abigail rumors are true -- and thanked people who love her unconditionally and for "no personal gain, ESPECIALLY WHEN THE CAMERAS ARE OFF with no accolades."
Dale never spoke publicly about his alleged involvement with Abigail and instead asked for privacy for Clare and her family during their difficult time, which had brought Clare to her knees.
However, a source close to Dale told Us Weekly that Dale and Abigail "never kissed or had sex" and they were just "friends" after meeting at a flag football game in New York City.
Clare told Jana that she knows what "happens behind closed doors."
"When you know the truth, we know where your heart is, like, I don't need a publicist speaking my side of the story. I don't care for my side of the story, to be honest, to even be out there — even if I have receipts and proof, everything I need to show that I could really put it out there," Clare shared, according to People.
"I think it just seems icky. I think it seems icky when it's like, 'sources say,' 'the publicist says this,' it's just, why not talk to the person directly?"
Not only is Clare dealing with a broken heart and her mother's health crisis, but she's also still recovering from having her breast implants removed.
"There was a lot on my plate... It all came crashing down at once," Clare noted.
Clare also said it's "painful" that she and Dale never talked things out and got closure from their hot-and-cold romance.
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"It's painful when you feel like somebody who you love deeply doesn't even have enough respect to take you to sit down and have a very vulnerable conversation and owning your stuff on both sides, you know, and just having a conversation," Clare explained.
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"It's hurtful because it's like, 'You think that little of me?' But yet he supposedly loved me... Maybe that is the closure."
The last Instagram post of Clare and Dale together dates back to September 10, when Clare shared a slideshow of photos from the U.S. Open tennis tournament, one of which featured Dale by her side along with fellow The Bachelorette couple Katie Thurston and Blake Moynes.
But breakup rumors didn't spark until Dale reportedly attended a friend's September 19 wedding by himself even though Clare had also been invited as Dale's guest and then Dale celebrated his 33rd birthday without Clare, who also never publicly mentioned his birthday.
"The one that gets me is, how do you say goodbye to somebody you never wanted to walk away from?" Clare said through tears, according to People.
"Like I would have never walked... You're having to say goodbye to somebody you don't want to be saying goodbye to, you have to walk away from somebody you don't want to walk away from. It's hard, it's painful."
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Earlier this summer, Clare and Dale's relationship appeared to be strong and they were even wearing matching rings.
"It's more of a promise and commitment from Dale and there's no wedding planning at this time," a source told E! News in July.
"They had a conversation over a month ago about their future and decided that they wanted to be engaged again... They aren't rushing anything and aren't even living together permanently yet."
An insider also told Us at the time that Clare and Dale were "happy" together and very much in love.
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