The Bachelorette alum Rachel Lindsay has opened up about how she and husband Bryan Abasolo "live totally different lives" and "don't work well together."
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While Rachel and Bryan make their relationship work, they're apparently not in sync with each other at all.
"Bryan and I live totally different lives," Rachel, 38, told Nick Viall on the Thursday, December 21 episode of "The Viall Files" podcast.
"Bryan is a sole practitioner. He leaves the house at 8AM and he comes home at, like, 9 o'clock, 9:30 [at night] sometimes. It's just him by himself," she explained of the chiropractor.
"Whereas, me, especially now that I'm not doing Extra, I have a lot more free time. I'm podcasting, I'm researching, I'm paying attention to what's in the news, and then I'm back in hustle mode with trying to get a second job. So I go to events... We're just in two totally different places."
Rachel explained that's one of the main reasons why she and Bryan don't post a lot about each other on social media, although their lack of Instagram activity often has fans speculating that they're on the outs or have split.
"There's not a lot of time to take pictures of each other and show what we're doing, because we're in the bed or that kind of thing," Rachel explained.
And Rachel said she likes to keep her relationship with Bryan special and personal.
"I was just like, 'I want to keep this for ourselves' and, you know, marriage has ups and downs, but you never know when we're good or when we're not because we just don't really put it out there, and that's just kind of always been us," Rachel said.
"And I kind of want to keep it that way, so when I want to share something, I do."
However, The Bachelor 21 alum -- who found fame when she competed on Nick's season and finished in third place -- admitted that she understands why Bachelor Nation is frustrated with the couple and criticizes them from time to time.
RELATED LINK: 'THE BACHELORETTE' COUPLES NOW"I get [why people throw stones at us]. We don't put ourselves out there at all [except] maybe an anniversary or a family trip here or there, or a holiday. But I think I [stopped posting] because people were so critical of us when we came off the show," Rachel said.
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Rachel, a former attorney from Texas, chose Bryan as her winner on The Bachelorette over runner-up Peter Kraus and then they tied the knot in Mexico in August 2019, just about two years after they got engaged.
While Rachel and Bryan only enjoyed being social-media influencers for a short time, Nick admitted he and his pregnant fiancee, Natalie Joy, post constantly about their lives, which could prompt a person to argue that they're "using [their] relationship" for fame and money.
Nick pointed out how his current relationship style "is a very common practice" in Bachelor Nation.
"We did at one point, in the beginning... Also, you guys work well together and you work together. We don't," Rachel said.
"And we learned that! You've got to protect the marriage, and we just don't work well together. I commend you guys; not every couple can do that."
Despite the fact Rachel and Bryan are typically running in different directions, she said they're excited about starting a family, hopefully in the near future.
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"Sometimes that's not as easy as you think. You think, 'Okay, when I'm ready, I'm ready and it will happen,' and then it doesn't. So, that's been a little bit of a struggle too."
Rachel said she and Bryan are also "ready for a restart" in 2024 after they unwind and spend the holidays with her family in Dallas.
"But I'm very much at peace. I have a lot more time to just do the things that I want to do and figure out what's next. I'm trying not to freak out because I'm so used to controlling everything," Rachel concluded.
Rachel discussed the pressure she's feeling to have a baby at her age during an August appearance on the "Off the Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe" podcast.
"I feel the pressure, like, I'm 38. Oh my gosh, I don't even have eggs frozen. It's just a lot!" Rachel said at the time.
"And [my therapist] is telling me, as I'm in this transition phase, this is truly -- this is so scary to think about -- the first time that I've ever actually had time to be still and deal with my reality."
The Season 13 The Bachelorette star confessed to Kaitlyn -- who also feels pressure to have children and feels she's running out of time -- that she's "impatient" as well as a "control freak."
She continued, "I've always escaped it through work. I've never had to really worry about money. And now that my only job right now is podcasting, really, I have way more time on my hands and I'm freaking out."
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But Rachel said she didn't plan to share details about her family planning with fans because she values privacy both in her personal life and within her marriage.
"When you come off the show, you feel the pressure of showing people, 'How are we doing?' Because they want that, they fell in love with you as a couple and they want to see how you're doing and they want to check in," Rachel explained.
She added, "You feel like you have to perform."
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"I felt anxiety to have to perform for people I don't even know, and they don't know me," Rachel shared.
"And then I'm only giving them a piece of what our relationship is, which is up and down! You go through seasons all the time and it's work. I just didn't want to do that. So very quickly, we decided, 'We're only going to share what we want to share,' and people still criticize us for that."
In fact, there were months when Rachel and Bryan didn't post a single thing about each other, nor did they like each other's Instagram posts.
"Everyone assumed that we were breaking up. They were counting how long it had been since we last posted about each other," Rachel lamented.
Rachel joked about how she's a "terrible" social-media person, and actually wishes she wasn't because she's "losing money" because of it.
"I think that may have contributed to the success of our relationship," Rachel concluded.
"I am more private with my personal life, and that's why when people say, 'Are you going to do another reality show?' I don't want people to know where I live, what people I hang out with, and what I drive. I'd rather do something else -- I'd host a show!"
Rachel shared in May 2022 how she and the former "Talking It Out with Bachelor Nation" podcast host were "already taking steps" to have their first child together.
And Bryan added at the time, "I'll be ready when it happens. That's the attitude you've got to have. I don't think anyone is ever ready for it; they just do it. And baby after baby, maybe it gets easier."
After Rachel and Bryan got engaged, they lived in Rachel's hometown of Dallas, TX, for a while before moving to Miami, FL, in 2019 where Bryan continued working as a chiropractor.
Bryan gushed of his wife to Us Weekly in 2021, "Rachel just had like an X-factor [when I met her]."
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About The Author: Elizabeth Kwiatkowski
