'The Bachelorette' recap: Charity dumps Xavier and says she's "in love" with Dotun and Joey as Aaron returns

The Bachelorette star Charity Lawson eliminated Xavier Bonner before their overnight Fantasy Suite date, said she's "in love" with both Dotun Olubeko and Joey Graziadei, and was shocked by Aaron Bryant's sudden return during the Season 20 episode that aired Monday night on ABC.


Charity denied Xavier, a 27-year-old biomedical scientist from Carrboro, NC, a rose and sent him home after the day portion of their Fantasy Suite date in Fiji because he dropped a bombshell on her that he had cheated on his past girlfriend and he couldn't promise Charity that he'd never be unfaithful again.

"I know that I just hurt her so much. That woman put her heart on the line every single day, and I doubted myself and us, and I shouldn't have done that. I shouldn't have doubted it," Xavier said in his final words.

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Charity's Final 2 bachelors are therefore Dotun, a 30-year-old integrative medicine specialist from Brooklyn, NY, and Joey, a 27-year-old tennis pro from Koloa, HI.


However, Charity's latest eliminee, Aaron, a 29-year-old software salesman from San Diego, CA, unexpectedly showed up in Fiji and surprised Charity, and The Bachelorette star seemed to consider giving him another chance.

The Bachelorette broadcast began with Charity and her Final 3 bachelors -- Dotun, Joey and Xavier -- in Fiji.

Charity said letting go of Aaron in fourth place after hometowns was "the most difficult thing" she ever had to do and she was still thinking about him because she had been falling in love with him. But Charity was also falling in love with Dotun, Joey and Xavier.

Charity wasn't sure if Xavier was ready for an engagement, but she wondered if her insecurities were just coming out. Charity also questioned if she was getting "the real Joey" based on what his Uncle Joe had said during his hometown.

Charity also gushed about how connection with Dotun was "unreal," but she worried it was too good to be true and the other shoe might drop.


"As I'm standing here right now, I have no idea who I'm getting engaged to," Charity said at the start of the episode.

For the men's part, Dotun told the cameras he felt ready to be with Charity at the end and "prepared" to propose marriage, and Xavier noted how he could see Charity as his wife. Joey, meanwhile, said he looked forward to telling Charity in Fiji that he was fully "in love" with her.

For Charity's first date in Fiji, she and Xavier participated in traditional Fijian rituals on a private island called Nanuku and soaked in the local culture, complete with grass skirts.

Xavier was still having doubts about whether he was ready to get down on one knee and pop the question, but his relatives had expressed to Charity how they believe he's ready for marriage.

Charity compared the ceremony to a wedding rehearsal, and The Bachelorette star said she was hopeful it could be Xavier and herself in the end. Xavier noticed the date had "serious undertones" of love and the future, so he called it "pretty intense."


Charity couldn't get a straight answer from Xavier on whether he was ready to get engaged in just a couple of short weeks, so she hoped to receive clarity that night. She didn't want Xavier's doubts or fears -- or her own -- to hold them back.

Meanwhile, Aaron was shown walking through the airport during his travels to Fiji.

Aaron said his goodbye conversation with Charity was "a very tough one to have," especially because Charity had voiced how she wasn't sure if she was making the right decision by letting him go.

"Replaying that in my head, there are a lot of things I want to say to her, so now I am going to Fiji to go after the woman I'm falling in love with. Charity is definitely worth fighting for, and I really hope Charity just accepts me back," Aaron shared in a confessional.

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At dinner that night, Xavier decided to be completely open and honest with Charity.

Xavier told Charity he had grown to accept and visualize what committing to Charity would look like -- which was both a "scary" and "calming" thought -- but his heart and his head were at odds. Xavier explained how his heart wanted to be with Charity forever but his head was doubting it.

Charity had a gut feeling that Xavier was going to hurt her, and she found this instinct very worrisome and bothersome.

But Charity's concerns about Xavier reached an all-time high when he revealed that he had cheated on his most recent ex-girlfriend. Xavier said it was "disrespectful" and does not reflect the man he is today.

Charity appeared stunned and disappointed. This news was very triggering for The Bachelorette star given her ex-boyfriend had been unfaithful to her on and off for six years.


Charity said this bombshell "completely derailed" the date, and she started to cry in the middle of dinner and said she needed some time to think about the admission and compose herself. Charity's viewpoint is that cheating is the worst betrayal in a relationship.

When Charity returned to the dinner table, she decided to hear Xavier out and ask if he had learned from his mistake and regretted it. Charity wanted to feel safe and protected with her man since she didn't have that in her previous romance.

"If you end up with me, I don't want to be unfaithful to you," Xavier told Charity.

Charity started asking questions, and Xavier shared how he had cheated on his ex multiple times in the span of five days. Xavier said it happened two years into his relationship, when he had been expecting this woman to be whom he wanted her to be -- which he acknowledged was wrong.

Xavier told Charity that he was selfish in the situation and chose himself, and Charity said this scenario reminded her way too much of her ex-boyfriend.

Xavier explained to Charity that he learned to be more introspective and question himself after the incident. He said cheating on a woman made him question his own character, mainly because he had hurt this woman and himself, and he didn't want the mistake to define him.


"Sometimes I question myself because I did do that... I question if I'm put in that position again... on vacation with my boys and that sh-t is around me, I'm like, 'Shut the door.' I know how to deal with that now," Xavier told Charity.

Charity asked Xavier if cheating was a possibility in their relationship down the road, and he said it wouldn't happen if he chose to be with Charity and if she chose to be with him.

"I'm not going to do that. Is it going to be hard to do that? Hell yes. Because I've never been in a position where you just have to choose one woman for the rest of your life and that freedom is gone," Xavier elaborated.

Charity was reading between the lines and realized that Xavier didn't trust himself enough to be loyal and not repeat the mistake of his past.

Charity told Xavier that his love for her should be so strong that he wouldn't even want to be intimate with another woman.

"Are you good? Is that what you're saying?" Charity asked.


"I'm saying I'm good but it's f-cking scary," Xavier replied.

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Charity thought Xavier's uncrafted answer was valid, and she assured him that she wasn't upset and she was just challenging him and being cautious. Charity appreciated his candidness and vulnerability.

But before offering Xavier the Fantasy Suite card, she needed more from him.

"Can you be someone that will show up for me at the end of this, if we both feel that this is right in our hearts? Can this be somebody that will maintain loyalty to me?" Charity asked Xavier, breaking down into tears.

"I hold this card not because I doubt you but because I believe in you, and I want this. I want this for us. I want this to work... but I need to know you're going to do what it takes to show up for me -- that you're going to put in the work and you're going to make it work without a doubt... Will you do that? Will you do that for us?"


Xavier responded, "There has to be no doubt and 100 percent certainty for me to do that, and in my heart, there is not any f-cking doubt. But in my mind, there is that doubt. And for me to get to that point, that has to happen tonight. I need to see more."

Charity complained to the cameras how Xavier's response made "no sense" to her because she had already shown him who she is. Charity also didn't think the two of them in a bedroom would determine whether there would be longevity in their relationship.

Charity vented in a confessional, "F-ck this! I'm so mad! You said you f-cking cheated on your girlfriend? What did you learn from that? How did you better yourself? You can't even answer! That's letting me know right now that you haven't done sh-t to work on this!"

Charity told Xavier that she needed reassurance from him that he'd be a loyal man and he couldn't give that to her. Charity didn't think Xavier trusted himself not to hurt her.

Charity said she had no doubt in Xavier, but he clearly doubted himself.

Charity validated Xavier's feelings, but she explained how she didn't want to force him to get there prematurely.


"I only want you there if you're fully ready, because when I choose my person, I want my person to be secure in themselves and I want them to be ready," Charity said.

"I should've taken more time to think about that answer," Xavier responded.

"No, no way... In order to be true to Charity Lawson in 2023 -- not willing to settle, not willing to put up with whatever -- I'm going to be selfish in this moment. I wish I could open [this Fantasy Suite key], but it's not happening," Charity announced.

Xavier said he never expected their relationship to end this way, and Charity agreed, saying it was "the last thing" she ever expected to happen.

Xavier apologized for letting doubt flood into his head, and Charity admitted she was mad, sad, and disappointed.

"I'm frustrated that it's not you and this isn't happening today, because I thought it was," Charity told Xavier, before walking him out.


Charity told the cameras that she saw her potential with Xavier clearly but he couldn't see it clearly enough.

Before driving away from Charity, Xavier said he understood Charity's decision, and she gave him a hug goodbye. It was Charity's "most disappointing goodbye yet," according to The Bachelorette star.

Charity called the situation "heartbreaking," but she said she'd be a fool to keep a man who wasn't ready -- and she is "not" a fool. Regardless, Charity was devastated and cried the night away.

Waking up the next morning, alone, Charity explained how she wasn't on The Bachelorette "to build a man."

"This isn't Build-A-Man Workshop," Charity noted, adding how she hoped one of her two remaining relationships would work out.

Charity then embarked on her date with Joey, who wanted to get on the same page with Charity. He wasn't sure if she felt about him the way he felt about her, especially after her strange and tearful goodbye after his hometown date.


For the day portion of their date, Charity and Joey took an ATV ride together, but their ATV broke down and things didn't go as planned.

The pair therefore hiked down a shallow river, which made the date even more intimate. Charity praised Joey's calm demeanor, and then Joey admitted he had a really tough week after his hometown date because Charity seemed to be in her head when she left him.

Charity brought up Uncle Joe's concern that Joey wasn't showing his true colors, and Joey admitted he felt uncomfortable during the tennis date because he was worried about showing Charity a good time and how he was looking on-camera.

"I worry about how other people feel, and sometimes it stops me from being myself. But that hasn't been the case with Charity, she consistently makes me feel great," Joey shared with the cameras.

After making out beneath a waterfall, Charity and Joey got ready for the evening portion of their date. Both individuals had decided not to hold back, and so they both planned to express their true feelings.

At dinner, Joey explained how sometimes people fell in love with "the idea" of him -- a great guy -- but then they discover differently upon getting to know him better. Joey said if he and Charity had more time together, she'd see him get stuck in a funk and not always have high energy or a charming attitude.


"I am human. There are moments when I don't feel that way, but then I try to push to be that person I think everybody sees me to be. That's the part that can be taxing," Joey told Charity.

"I know it can be tough to be a person in a relationship with me because it can almost maybe sometimes feel like it can be a roller coaster. But it's just me, right?"

Charity totally related to the fact Joey tended to put a lot of pressure on himself, and she was very understanding of trying to be "the best" all the time in order to get attention or praise from others.

Joey believed he and Charity really saw each other, and then he shared with The Bachelorette star, "Since [my hometown], I've realized that I am in love with you, and I've been wanting to tell you that for a while. I am in love with you, and I just want you to know that."

"Joey, that makes me so happy," Charity replied.

"You saying those words to me in this moment could not make me happier, and after the day that we spent, it's not even a matter of, 'Am I falling in love with you?' I am in love with you, and it is the best feeling... It's huge for me. I am so excited to be feeling like this."


Charity gushed about how she was floating, and then she invited Joey to spend the night with her in the Fantasy Suite. Joey entered the Fantasy Suite with so much confidence, and Charity said Joey was "the definition of a perfect person, the person I've prayed for."

Charity teased that her love with Joey was about to reach new heights.

The next morning, Charity was beaming and glowing, and she said joy was within her heart. She told the cameras how her love with Joey felt "eternal," which was a big statement to make.

When hugging each other goodbye, Charity said her love for Joey was growing by the second, and she didn't want to leave him. She even cried when Joey walked away from her.

Dotun's date with Charity was up next, and the pair went jet skiing out to a private beach. Charity still wondered if her relationship with Dotun was "too good to be true," but she was tired of waiting for something to go wrong.

Dotun gushed about Charity's beauty, and Charity shared with Dotun how she adored his family and had a special moment praying with his mother during his hometown date.


Dotun then opened up to Charity about how he didn't know much about the show, nor did he understand what's supposed to happen at the Final Rose Ceremony.

Dotun learned Charity was expecting an engagement, and he said, "I'm actually fine with that. It's just a testament [to you]."

Charity said Dotun's revelation excited her, and she compared their romance to a magical fairy tale. She called their relationship "exceptional" and said Dotun had exceeded all of her expectations.

"It's a beautiful love story. Nothing in my gut is telling me to hold [back]," Charity noted.

At dinner that night, Dotun expressed to Charity how he never thought fairy tales were meant for him but he felt so lucky to be with Charity and that The Bachelorette star was his "fairy tale story."

Charity told Dotun that she wasn't fearful of a future with him and nothing was wrong, and then Dotun expressed how his feelings had been growing stronger for her with each passing day.


"[My head] is in line with where my heart is now, at this point. The scary part is that I'm not scared. The way that I care about you and the way I feel about you when I see you, and holding you, are such a clear sign to me. It's scary how easy it is to say that I'm genuinely in love with you, Charity," Dotun said.

Charity said she was feeling the same way for Dotun, 100 percent.

"I am 100 percent in love with you, and being able to say, 'I love you,' that is where I'm at. I don't want to hold that in, and I'm not going to hold it in anymore. And it feels so freakin' good to say!" Charity gushed in reply.

The Bachelorette star called her feelings for Dotun "indescribable," and then she invited him to join her in the Fantasy Suite. Dotun accepted the key, and he said he could finally breathe and relax.

Charity quickly brought Dotun over to the bed, and when things got steamy, she kicked the cameras out.

"It's like watching your favorite prince and princess fall in love. That is what this is," Charity said. "It feels like we are as free as two birdies who are in love and flying."


The next morning, Dotun said he respected Charity enough to allow her to exhaust all of her options, but he said he'd be totally heartbroken if she dumped him.

The next day, Aaron showed up at Charity's hotel resort looking for her. He said he was still falling in love with her and there was a possibility she was still feeling the same way about him.

Aaron found Charity relaxing by the pool, and she was totally shocked to see him in the flesh.

"Am I mad about it? No. I'm excited to see him," Charity said in a confessional.

Aaron spoke to Charity about how their relationship was real to him and it was incredibly hard to sit with the fact it was over.

"I knew that were was more I could've given, and when you said, also, you weren't sure if you were making the right decision, that's what got me stuck and in shock... I want to see where your head is at and if you've been thinking about it as well," Aaron told Charity.


Charity said she had been there as well, adding, "To be very honest, yeah, I have been thinking about it every single day -- our relationship and obviously what it meant, and to make sense of saying goodbye... I don't know if I made the right choice and that hurts me."

Charity assured Aaron that their relationship was so good and powerful -- and that she was falling in love with him, which is something she hadn't verbalized to him. Charity admitted she still cared about Aaron a lot, and he replied, "Wow."

Aaron clarified how he still felt the same way about Charity, which he had probably proven by hopping on an extremely long flight just to see her.

Charity couldn't believe her eyes, and she had never wanted to say goodbye to him.

"I just told him right now that I was falling in love with him, or am! I don't know!" Charity said in a confessional. "What do I say? I still care for him."

Charity said it's impossible to shut off how you feel about a person, whether two days or a week go by. Charity, however, was already "in love" with two other men, and so she didn't know what to do.


Charity admitted being in love with multiple people was a "crazy" notion but her connection with Aaron was also extremely strong.

The Bachelorette star said the situation was "insane" and a lot was on the line, and then the episode ended with a cliffhanger.

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Click here to read spoilers about Charity's The Bachelorette season and who Charity picked as her winner.

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About The Author: Elizabeth Kwiatkowski