The Bachelorette star Charity Lawson has dished about what it was like to reunite with Xavier Bonner at The Men Tell All following their tense and frustrating breakup in Fiji.
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Charity, having been in a self-described "toxic" six-year relationship in which the man had repeatedly cheated on her, understandably felt triggered. And when Xavier failed to prove he's a changed man and wouldn't repeat the mistakes of his past, Charity dumped him before the overnight portion of their Fantasy Suite date.
Charity admitted she was most nervous or anxious to "face" Xavier at The Men Tell All special given she figured their conversation would be "heavier" than the rest during an interview with Entertainment Weekly.
"I don't know if it's necessarily closure [I needed from Xavier]. In that moment [in Fiji], we see it's a very heavy conversation, so I had a lot of emotions going on," Charity explained.
"So, I don't think I was able to ask all the things I needed to ask or maybe understand all of the things that he was saying to me in that moment. For me at least, that was the purpose of that conversation at The Men Tell All. I think I got what I needed, and I hope that he got what he needed as well."
Charity let Xavier know that his choice to withhold the information about his prior infidelity from her until their Fantasy Suite date was bad decision-making and a little bit of a betrayal.
"I hate to say it, but I don't think I would've brought you to that point [of Fantasy Suites] because I would've known that you were not right [for me]," Charity admitted to Xavier.
Charity also explained how Xavier was unable to promise her that he'd never cheat again. She could tell that Xavier doubted himself and whether he'd be able to be faithful to Charity long-term, if they ended up together.
"You were saying, 'I don't want to cheat on you.' Well instead of saying, 'I don't want to cheat, say you won't cheat,'" Charity griped.
"If you truly love and care about me, you just won't do that. It's that simple."
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RELATED LINK: 'THE BACHELORETTE' COUPLES NOWLooking back on her journey to find love, Charity previously said that she had given some of the men -- especially Brayden Bowers -- too much grace or too many second chances.
But Charity assured EW that she's "not regretful for being gracious or generous" with the guys she had strong feelings for.
"Because that's who I am as a person. I'm a very compassionate and loving person," The Bachelorette star explained.
"But I think in these moments when these men have shown me multiple times who they are, it's a wake-up sign for me to be like, 'Alright, they've shown you their character flaws,' whatever you want to call it, and it's up to me to believe that... [But] I'm doing what I know is best in that moment with all the information that I have."
Charity suggested that hindsight is 20/20, and so it's easy to say now that she should've done or handled something differently on the show.
"Obviously watching back, it's like, 'I probably could have handled this situation differently,' or if I knew everything that I now know now, I would've approached a conversation differently," Charity reasoned.
"In that moment with Xavier, I definitely had less time, so I think that's why we see me act accordingly. It's like, 'Alright, let's get him out of here because we have a week until proposal.'"
Charity admitted that she couldn't "afford to take a chance" on a guy who was afraid of committing to one person forever.
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"I cannot afford to take a chance on this and not know what the outcome would be if you're just blatantly saying that you can't trust yourself to commit," Charity explained.
"It was a very empowering moment for me to make a call, like, 'No, I have other men that are truly here [for me] and they know why they're here, and they see a future with me.'"
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After watching back his own journey on The Bachelorette, Xavier admitted on The Men Tell All that he had stuck his foot in his mouth and made mistakes "instead of making [Charity] feel like she's the only woman for me."
When Xavier told Charity that he was falling in love with her during his hometown date, he was apparently expecting her to say it back in order to reassure him.
When Charity didn't openly reciprocate those feelings, Xavier -- who is apparently afraid of unrequited love -- said he became fearful of getting hurt and so he put walls up and just "melted."
Charity, however, wished Xavier had communicated his needs better to her on the show.
When asked how he felt about Charity now, Xavier told The Bachelorette host Jesse Palmer, "I was in love with her. It was really difficult to move on from that because those feelings don't just go away."
"I think about our time together literally every day," he continued, "so I had to get a therapist because I felt like there was some work I had to do on myself in order to be ready for somebody who is my forever person."
And when Charity confronted Xavier for hurting her and bringing up his cheating past way too late in the process, Xavier apologized and let The Bachelorette star know that he still loved her.
Xavier took accountability for not expressing himself well and fully, and then he gifted Charity a knitted rose to show his affection for and appreciation of her.
The Bachelorette's three-hour season finale airs Monday, August 21 at 8PM ET/PT on ABC, and in addition to the unexpected return of Aaron Bryant, the other bachelors who still remain in the running for Charity's heart are Joey Graziadei and Dotun Olubeko.
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Click here to read spoilers about Charity's The Bachelorette season and who Charity picked as her winner.
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About The Author: Elizabeth Kwiatkowski
